Lily Honeycutt
by TochuNadu
Summary: Too strong for the human world and not strong enough for the vampire world, Lily has existed, for the most part, alone. When she accidentally encounters the Cullens, she knows her life is destined to change, forever.
1. Chapter 1: Preface

**Lily Honeycutt**

**Chapter 1: Preface**

I didn't know what I was. No one did. I wasn't supposed to exist. I knew I wasn't human, but I wasn't a vampire either, at least not entirely, the others would have sensed that. I kept my distance from them but always knew where they were and, thanks to my special gifts, I always knew what they were thinking. I had kept track of the Cullen family for almost two years now although I believe I had had an encounter with Edward Cullen around 75 years ago in the back alleyways of Atlanta, though I couldn't be sure it was him.

The Cullen's were vampires. But instead of feeding on human blood, they had taught themselves to live on the blood of animals. I knew about their special diet and that is what so interested me about them. I was half of what they are. And it was the killing of just one human, my mother, which made me hate the vampire inside me. The vampire in me made me strong but it also made me a monster, a vile killer of innocent humans. So I learned to suppress the demon. But it was still part of me, the part that made me immune to disease. The part that gave me super human strength, acute senses and most of all, immortality.

I knew that if I ever wanted to fit in with anyone on this planet, the Cullen's were probably the closest I was ever going to get to being with my own kind. I had been pretty much on my own since birth and I wanted more than anything to fit in somewhere, anywhere. To be able to sleep soundly without fear of an attack. To know that I was in a place where I would be protected from _anything_ that may harm me. Humans couldn't do that. And besides, humans got sick or hurt or simply grew old, and died. Everyone I had ever loved was now dead. The one woman that I had truly loved, and the person for whom I am named, Lillian Honeycutt, died over seventy years ago.

She was the only person that had known the real me, that had cared for me when I was nearly killed by a young vampire when I too was very young. She was in her forties when I was delivered to her. I don't know by whom. All I knew was that he was a vampire.

Lillian had taught me how to be human. She taught me to care for self, to make and mend clothing, to read and write and how to cook, although I rarely ever had the need for it. I preferred my meat raw and the bloodier the better. I was after all, still part vampire. Most importantly though, she had helped teach me to control my temper, which is when the vampire took over. The survival instinct is very strong and even now I have to fight to suppress the demon when I get angry or feel threatened. That's also when other vampires could sense me. Otherwise, I was just another boring human to them. As long as I kept myself from consuming human blood or the blood of predators, my scent was as normal as any other humans.

Through the decades, of course I had had friends, but only for a few years at a time. Humans tended to do a lot of growing and maturing between the ages of twelve and eighteen, but I didn't. I was eternally fifteen and people began to notice when you never got older, never got sick, hurt or rarely even _upset_ for that matter. So after three or four years, I had to pretend to have to move away again. A few times were harder than others, but it's something I knew I always had to do, eventually. Leave. I was used to moving around a lot. There were times when I told myself I would never care for anyone ever again. But the loneliness always got to me after a while and I would allow someone to get close to me again, knowing I would have to leave them in only a few short years. It never seemed like very long at all.

I no longer got very attached to anyone, or stayed in one place too long. The last time I let myself love someone he ended up dead. That was over thirty years ago and since then I wandered the country until I ended up in Forks and stumbled across the Cullen family.

The Cullens were the most likely to accept what I was, and the least likely to kill me for it. That is, if I could bring myself to approach them. I had learned long ago that the first rule of being a vampire, even part vampire, was self-preservation. Vampires were mostly solitary creatures, very untrusting and rarely found in groups. A _family_ of vampires was almost unheard of. Other than the Cullen's, there were only two known exceptions I knew of; the ancient vampires of Italy and a small family far to the north that the Cullen's had spent time with.

Would I be able to approach them? Would they listen to me? Would they try to understand me? Would they accept me, or would they see me as the hideous half human monster that I was, and destroy me?


	2. Chapter 2: Purgatory

**Purgatory**

I sat by myself at a large round table, hunched over a rather large pad, drawing random faces and scenes from memory. I wasn't really paying as much attention to the drawing as I was the chatter around the cafeteria. I was curious about one person in particular and he had most of my attention. Edward Cullen, beautiful by anyone's standards, sat staring at the cracks in the ceiling and effectively ignoring all of the chatter in the cafeteria. The buzz on everyone's mind today was the arrival of the new girl, Police Chief Charlie Swan's daughter, Isabella, or Bella, as she preferred. She had moved here from Phoenix Arizona. All I could wonder was "Why Forks?" Why would any sane human want to live here. I was here because of the Cullens and the Cullens were here for good reason too, because this had to be the gloomiest sunless locale on the planet.

Edward sat staring at the ceiling and made subtle motions with his head and eyes in response to unspoken questions from his sister, Alice. She was worried about Jasper, another Cullen family member, because he was having a hard time with the Cullen diet. He was pushing himself too hard, pushing to the point of breaking just to prove to Alice that he could do this. I knew that his family would keep anything from happening, but why let him get to this point? I would've been out hunting with him everyday to make sure that nothing went wrong, but that was just me, I guess. I was always doing everything possible _not_ to be noticed, by anyone. But I guess the Cullens knew better than I did on how to care for their own.

Edward heard his name in someone's thoughts and turned to look toward the table where Bella was sitting. Jessica had thought his name and, just like it was said aloud, his head turned for the shortest of moments. Bella's eyes shot to the table and her cheeks flushed pink as she realized she had been caught staring. Edward didn't even notice. He turned his attention to Emmett momentarily, trying to ignore the chatter from Jessica's head. I waited for him to catch the thoughts of the new girl. I waited to hear her thoughts through his head but they never came. He couldn't hear her thoughts? I turned my attention to Isabella just to make sure and sure enough, there they were, clear as a bell. Clearer than the other humans actually. Almost as clear as the Cullens. She was thinking about Edward, of course. I laughed to myself. _He was beautiful,_ I thought.

I didn't know how my little mind reading talent worked, I just knew that it did. Not unlike Edward, I could hear what people were thinking, but it didn't work exactly like his. He could hear everyone at once, like being in a theater before showtime. All the mutterings of individuals in conversations going on at once. Mine was different though. I could only 'hear' one person's at a time, a single phone line so to speak, and very unlike Edward, I could communicate back to them if I wished. Like an actual cell phone. I had had years, well, about eighty years actually, to perfect my little talent. I could listen to anyone's thoughts and keep my own thoughts completely silent. I could make my own thoughts heard clearly, or make it so subtle that the person would think it was an afterthought of their own and not mine at all. I had slipped up a few times with Edward and he had heard me quite clearly, but luckily for me, he just thought it was the usual ramblings of just another human girl. Luckily I just wasn't interesting enough for Edward to pay any attention to me or my thoughts.

My talent also worked over any distance, so I could hear anyone anywhere in the world as long I knew who I was listening for, or their individual 'voice' as Edward like to call it. And it was easier to hear vampires than humans. Like analog versus digital. Humans I heard in a fuzzy analog frequency, but vampires were crystal clear. Oddly, Bella was very clear for a human and I wondered why. But I really wondered why I could hear her and Edward couldn't.

I was so very interested in the Cullens as a whole, because they were vampires. Part of me was a vampire and wanted so badly to walk up and knock on the Cullen's front door. I had so many questions I wanted to ask Carlisle, the father of the family and a doctor at the small hospital here in Forks. There were _so_ many questions. What was I? How could I possibly exist? Everyone, even humans, knew that vampires were created, not born. But I had been born, if that's what you'd call it I guess. I hated to think of it, it made my stomach turn and brought a bitter taste to my mouth. I knew that if anyone could help me it would be Carlisle.

Carlisle had created three of his family members, Esme, Edward and Rosalie. Rosalie had Carlisle create Emmett for her. Alice and Jasper joined the family later of their own accord. I knew all of their stories and how they had come to be, except for Alice, her story was unknown, except for tiny fragments of information that would sometimes surface in her head, but even she wasn't sure how she had become a vampire. She did know that this life was happier than the last though, which in itself is just a little scary, considering what she was now.

Rosalie's story is heartbreaking, raped, beaten and left for dead by her would be husband. Esme had jumped off of a cliff after the loss of a child and Edward had been as good as dead by the Spanish flu epidemic of 1918. His mother had begged Carlisle to save him. I had seen the images many times in Carlisle's thoughts. Chicago had been all but wiped out. Bodies everywhere, not enough living to properly dispose of the dead. Carlisle had fought with himself for decades on whether or not to create a companion for himself. It was Edward's mother that convinced him. Ever since he had made the decision to save his life and change him, Edward had been the most important thing to Carlisle. His son. Even after Esme, Edward was still the light of Carlisle's eyes.

Edward began searching the room for Bella's thoughts again. I smiled to myself when I realized that he really couldn't hear her. She was hating all the attention and crushing on Edward already. Jessica was giving her the run down of the Cullen's and the Hales. Rosalie and Jasper were the Hales, the blonds. Edward looked over to Bella again and stared at her for a moment. He still couldn't hear her thoughts and it really bugged him.

It was time for our next class. I had Biology and I knew Edward did too. I walked to class slowly and Julie stopped me on the way. Julie was Scott Armstrong's little sister. Scott graduated last year and was now working at the local grocery store that I frequented as often as I possibly could. I had little thing for Scott. Well, a _big_ thing for Scott actually. Julie wanted to know if I could drop her off at the store after school and since I lived just a few blocks from there it was really no problem. I trudged on to my class and to the back of the room and took my seat. I had just sat down and pulled my book out of my bag. Bella walked into the room and as soon as she walked by Edward his body went rigid. I saw him grind pieces of the underside of the black wooden table into dust and scatter it across the floor with his foot before Bella had time to take her paperwork to the teacher and make her way back to the only empty seat and take her place beside him. I had never seen Edward like this. If I had never felt the burn of thirst in my own throat, I wouldn't have recognized what was wrong. It was her scent. It was making him crazy, thirsty, making him crave the warm red fluid that pumped through her veins.

_Fight it_, _Edward_, I thought, but I doubted he would be able to hear anything except his own warring thoughts. This was one of those times that I remembered why vampires and humans didn't co-exist, at least not normal vampires. The Cullen's didn't drink human blood, but it didn't make humans any less appetizing to them. Unfortunately, humans were their natural prey and right now, Bella Swan was very much, lunch. The urge he felt was so strong that I could feel the physical pain her scent caused him. He was running through all the scenarios in his head. If he attacked her, would he be able to take out the whole class? No witnesses could be left of course. What would happen when he got to me? My heart beat and blood pumped through my veins like any human's, but under that cloth thin layer of skin and vessels, was vampire skin. Only another vampire could penetrate a vampire's skin. I knew this first hand from a surprise encounter with a feeding vampire a century ago. It was not something that you would want to try to interrupt, and Edward was about there.

_Think of your family Edward_, I thought, hoping he would hear the logic in his desperate attempt to control himself. He sat motionless. A stone carving in the middle of Biology class. At least he didn't have to breathe and he didn't. I felt so terribly sorry for Bella, she had no idea what was going on and her thoughts were trying to make sense of Edward's reaction. I didn't dare try to comfort her, not because I didn't want to, but because there was too much at stake here. She was human, and humans were not to know about vampires. If Edward let her scent get the best of him, worst case scenario, he would kill everyone, including me. Best case, he would kill everyone else, try to kill me… no, I would just let him think he killed me, just play dead and wait until he left. No sense in making things any harder for him if the thirst took over.

The bell finally rang after what seemed an eternity, and Edward darted from the classroom before anyone else had even gotten out of their seat. I wanted desperately to go comfort Bella. But I couldn't. I knew too much and what if Edward caught a hint of my thoughts? I couldn't chance that. But humm… I'll just get someone else to do it. I silently convinced Mike Newton to go talk to Bella and ask if she had stabbed Edward with a pencil or something. He would think it was witty and that he had come up with it himself. I hoped it would ease Bella's mind a little bit. She and Mike talked, well mostly Mike talked, on the way to their next class, and she played it as she hadn't even noticed Edward. _You go girl_, I thought. _I just might have to like you Bella Swan._

After class I walked slowly to the parking lot. _Oh no_, I thought. Edward was in the office and Bella was on her way there. Bella was about to cross paths with Edward again. He didn't notice it was her until her scent hit him after someone had swung open the door. He slowly turned and glared at her. I could see her face, questioning mostly, and a only a little scared. That impressed me. She should be terrified, but she was more curious and… and a tad bit irritated. _What is his problem? What could I have possibly done to offend him? It couldn't be me_, her thoughts continued, _he doesn't know me from Eve_… I smiled and shook my head slowly side to side as I opened the door of my car. _It'll be OK, Bella._ I threw my book bag into the back seat and started my car, a yellow 1978 Dodge Charger with black racing stripes down the hood, roof and trunk. The guys usually drooled over it. I loved it.

Julie skipped over to the car and climbed in the passenger seat.

"Hey Lily, how was your day?" she asked in a cheerful tone.

"Eh, same ol, same ol," I said.

_I bet Scott can't wait to see you_, she thought.

"So… Is Scott working late today?" I asked, trying to coax information from her.

_I'm sure quitting time will be about the same time you get there_, she smiled. "No, he should be off as soon as he gets the cooler stocked," she said. "He didn't pick me up today because he had to unload a truck that was running late getting there."

She looked over at me and grinned. I shifted the car into reverse and slowly backed out of the parking spot. I hit the brakes hard as Edward's silver Volvo went roaring past. _Don't go too far, Edward_, I thought.

Julie was a few years younger than her brother and just as cute. She had the same steel blue/gray eyes and dark hair. But her complexion was much lighter than his. Somehow he managed to always look tan in this perpetually overcast place. They didn't call Seattle the Emerald City for nothing. It's so wet here in this corner of the world that everything had moss growing on it and I guess the "Everything is Covered in Moss City"

just didn't have the same ring to it. Scott just didn't seem to fit in here. He reminded me more of the swimming type than the mountain biking type that he was, but either way, he had the build of an athlete.

_Wow, I never noticed how _blue_ your eyes are. No wonder Scott can't keep his eyes off you_, she thought. _Would give Rosalie Hale… Cullen… whatever her name is, a real run for her money any day. But Rose is too snobby though, thinks her sh…_

"So what's Scott doing after work," I asked, interrupting her thoughts. People here always thought I looked a little like Rosalie, Edward's sister. I couldn't see it though, my eyes were blue, most of the time anyways, and my hair was a dark shade of blond. No where near the perfect face and blond locks of Rosalie.

"Oh, um…" _asking you to disappear with him_, "I don't know," she answered grinning. "You should come over Friday night and watch movies with us. I'm sure he doesn't have plans." _None that he wouldn't cancel anyways_. "He really likes you, you know," she said to me matter of factly.

I liked him too. He had the most incredible eyes. And he was smart and caring and responsible… But what could he possibly see in me? And what would I tell him about my past? That I've been on my own since, well… _birth_… That my father was a vampire, I killed my human mother being born and then… I shuttered at the image in my head. My past blurred through my head in flashes of light and color. I had never trusted anyone, except for Lillian and only one other.

I thought of man I would've married, Daniel. I knew I would never love anyone like I had loved him. I wasn't exactly sure why I was about to say yes to Julie, I still missed Danny everyday and wondered if I could even be close to Scott without freaking out and running away. I had never been with anyone other than Danny, and that had been over 30 years ago. _Maybe it was time to try_, I thought.

"You think Scott would mind?" I asked. She usually invited me over at least once a month or so. I think the only reason she kept asking was because her brother prompted her. But I didn't know that for sure.

I usually politely declined but maybe I should test the waters, see if I could be close to Scott in a private environment. Maybe it would be fun to hang out with Julie and Scott for an evening. Besides, I had a feeling that I was going to be spending a lot of time _elsewhere_ in the near future. I usually spent my free time in the forest eavesdropping on unsuspecting vampires or at home painting or drawing. The emerging story between Edward and Bella seemed to drawing me closer and closer to them. There wasn't even a _them_ yet, but still I could sense from the air around them that there would be. And for whatever reason, the powers that be were determined to involve me in this twisted web.

_Mind? He'll_ beg_!_ "I'll don't think he'll mind at all," she said, holding back a smile. _Yessss!_

I choked back a chuckle.

We were pulling out onto the road now and I saw Bella climb into her truck. She was very upset. _Poor Bella, _I thought to myself_. It'll be fine, sweetheart, I promise. _She fought back tears on her way home and I wanted to go find Edward and tell him just how incredibly disappointed I was in him. To make him go apologize to her or just get it over with and go kill her so she would stop hurting. It was very hard for the human in me to see someone hurting as much as Bella was right now and not be able to do anything about it.

Edward was suppressing his pain with anger. He wasn't just fighting thirst, he was fighting strong emotions toward her that he had never had before. I could see where this was going already. He was going to leave. He was going to try to outrun his feelings. I knew it wouldn't work and that he'd be back. I didn't need to hear his thoughts or see Alice's visions to know that. Bella was part of him now.

And she seemed to be just as a part of me. I was drawn to her for some reason. But she was just a human and I couldn't understand why I was so wanting to comfort her, to assure her that everything was going to be fine. And somehow I knew that it was. She had been here all of one day and I had never even talked to her, not even been within 15 feet of her and I already needed time away from her before I convinced myself to go see her.

I'll give them both time to work through this, I decided. I would spend the next few days enjoying myself. I would leave Edward to his own thoughts for a while and let him work through his emotions. He was already headed north at over 180 miles an hour by the time I had gotten to the grocery store with Julie.

I dropped Julie off at the door of the grocery store and waved to Scott.

_Aw, you're not coming in?_ He thought as I started to pull away. "Hey Julie," he said. "What's her hurry?"

"Don't know," she answered. "But I invited her over for movies Friday. You owe me one."

"She said yes!" he said excitedly. "You're kidding," he added before she even had time to answer.

"Finally," she said.

"Yeah, if she _actually_ comes over," he said. _I will give you my right arm if she comes over_, he thought. _Rosalie Hale. I swear they could be sisters! But Lily was here months before Rosalie, and I have never even seen her near the Cullens. Rose is supposed to be related to… uh, what's the mother's name… Esra? Esma? No, Esme, that's it. And the other blond boy too. They all look alike. The same eyes._

I wondered if the Cullens realized just how much everyone around here thought about them. Edward seems to think that they are a lot scarier than the people of Forks think they are. Humans have a natural fear of predators, but the Cullen family doesn't necessarily fall into that category. They are vampires, but, tame vampires, for lack of a better term. If they so chose, any one of them could turn on a human and have him or her for dinner. But the likelihood of that was so remote. That was the only reason I stayed in Forks after the Cullens arrived. I wanted to know them, but I still had a fear of vampires. Unlike the humans, I knew first hand what a vampire was capable of. I ran my hand down my side and felt the scars from my first encounter with a vampire.

I arrived at home. I threw my keys on the coffee table when I got inside and walked into the office. It was just a converted bedroom that I had set up with a desk, a computer and all of my art supplies. I loved to draw and paint. The house looked more like a fine art museum than the house of a fifteen year old. No one had ever seen any of it though. I never invited anyone to come here. I was too afraid that someone would start asking questions. I had a good story made up in case any one did, but I had much rather not have to use it if I could help it.

The school thought I had a father that traveled all the time. I stocked a mock bedroom with men's clothing and toiletries just in case. But it was just me as it always has been. Well, almost always.

I flipped on the computer and plopped down at the desk. I pulled my books out of my book bag and started my homework. Between subjects I would play on the computer. Surfing the internet, searching for the next cool toy I couldn't live without, haven't found anything in days though. The toys were usually some overpriced electronic gizmo that probably wouldn't even work a week. But they were fun for a day or two then they were usually thrown into my Santa closet, as I called it. Whatever was in there got donated to various children's charities during the holidays. No sense in keeping them. Besides, I never really kept a whole lot. I was always ready to leave any given place on a moments notice and I only traveled light.

I thought about Edward and Bella. I wondered when Edward would be back. Would he realize what was happening here? Would he let his guard down long enough to see it? And Bella? Right now Bella was very confused, and very upset with the young Mr. Cullen or 'the bronze haired boy', as she had called him. _Boy_, I laughed. _If she only knew._

The week went by pretty fast. Bella was very disappointed that Edward hadn't been at school all week. The look of disappointment on her face in the cafeteria and in Biology broke my heart every time I saw it. Edward was still in Denali trying to convince himself that he didn't have feelings for Bella Swan. He still couldn't see it, though every time I saw his thoughts, it was always Bella. He'd figure it out eventually.

Friday was finally here. I rushed to my car after school and hoped that Julie would hurry up and get out here. I had told her that I would come over tonight for the movie she had asked me to on Monday. She was just as excited as I was when she got into the car.

"Why so giddy?" I asked casually.

"Oh, I don't know," she shrugged, "Just glad it's finally the weekend I guess." _Oh my God, Scott is gonna pee himself when he gets home from work tonight._

"So, what movies are we watching?" I asked.

"Humm, don't know yet. I figured you'd want to help pick,"_ Scott will pick a scary movie. Maybe you'll be scared and he'll have to protect you. _She giggled to herself.

"Maybe a scary movie," I grinned, edging her on.

"Ooo, maybe," she said enthusiastically.

I wondered if she was accustomed to playing matchmaker for her brother. She seemed to enjoy it enough. Maybe he really did like me and she was just a cool sister helping him out.

She didn't live very far from me. A couple miles maybe. Their house was empty when we arrived. She tossed her book bag on the couch and flung her coat across the back of a chair. _I'll put that up later_, she thought, considering her mother told her to hang up her coat everyday when she arrived home from work. Because _every_ day, Julie's coat was flung over the back of the same chair. I chuckled to myself at the thought. It was almost a joke to Julie now to put her coat there.

I sat down in the chair with the coat. It was a big, cushy recliner sitting at an angle by the arm of the couch.

"Do you want a soda?" Julie asked as she stood and headed out of the room.

"Sure," I said.

She walked into the kitchen, opened the fridge and grabbed two cans of soda from the shelf.

"Hey Jules!" I heard Scott's voice call from further back in the house. He must have come in through the back door. "I'm going to go take a shower OK."

"OK." she called back as she walked back to couch. She handed me the can and plopped down on the couch.

Fifteen minutes later Scott walked into the living room where Julie and I were sitting, talking.

_Damn, you smell good_, I thought, and whatever Julie and I had been talking about was completely gone from my head.

_Ooo, cologne_, Julie thought, smelling the air as it wafted by her.

"Oh, Hi," I stammered. _Those eyes_, I thought as I stared at him.

His short hair was wet, making it look jet black, and in perfect disarray. It looked like he had towel dried it then simply ran his fingers through it. His pale blue tee shirt clung to his chest and shoulders and accented the curves and contours of the sculpted muscles underneath.

"Hey Lily, glad you decided to come over," he said, and his smile was infectious.  
>"Me too," I grinned.<p>

I knew why I had been invited over this evening, and it wasn't because Julie and I were buds. I was here because Julie was playing matchmaker. Not that I minded in the least. For the past two or three months, I had made it an effort to stop at the grocery store at least twice a week. Scott must think I have one heck of a sweet tooth and live on pints of ice cream and banana nut muffins.

When he would talk to me at the store, I would always notice his scent. Nothing like Bella to Edward, but Scott's scent was like it was created just for me. His smell was hard to explain. I did indeed have an occasional sweet tooth and his smell reminded me of cinnamon rolls, but husky, slightly overcooked cinnamon rolls with a hint of salty sea air. See, hard to explain.

Now on the other hand, he smelled a lot more like soap, shampoo and cologne. I could still smell a hint of that sweet scent although it was masked by many fragrances.

He sat down on the arm of the chair that I sat in.

"So, what have you two decided to watch?" he asked. He never even looked at Julie.

"We thought we'd leave it up to you," I said smiling.

"Oh really? It doesn't matter to me." He finally looked at Julie, but it was more of a 'ok what now' look.

_Oh jeez, Scott Allen Armstrong, why don't you just kiss her already._ "I'll be right back. I'll see what movies I can scrounge up," Julie said, giggling to herself the whole time. _Make it count bro, I'll be back in ten. If it's quiet, I'll go watch the other TV. _And she skipped out the room toward the kitchen.

Scott stood up and walked around the front of the chair. He picked Julie's soda from the floor in front of the couch and sat it on the coffee table. He sat down on the couch at the end closest to the chair.

He was very nervous and his thoughts were a jumbled mess. The only thing that was clear was that he really wanted to kiss me. I figured I would make it easy on him. I stood up, took a step toward him then sat on the couch beside him. I couldn't believe I was doing this.

I was never this forward. Heck, I couldn't remember the last time I was at anyone's house other than my own. I had never in my entire existence spoken to a stranger. I rarely spoke to anyone at school. And here I was, making a blatant pass at a boy that knew absolutely nothing about me. That had no idea that I was only half human and that I was older than his grandparents. _What would he think if he knew?_ I wondered. That was a question that I knew I would never be able to answer. I could never tell him about my past. I wish I could forget it, make up a brand new, fairy tale past of my own and make _me_ believe it, pretend that my past wasn't real. That it was a bad dream and I would wake up any minute and be an old lady with a dozen grandchildren… _If only_, I thought.

Scott was trying to play it cool, but his thoughts were far from it. He was arguing with himself about what to do next._ Oh those eyes, do I stare into her eyes and tell her how I feel? Wow. Those blue eyes. How can I say anything and not screw it up looking into those eyes? Do I say anything? Or just kiss her? Put my hand on her neck and run my fingers through her hair… _

I leaned closer until my face was only inches from his. "A penny for your thoughts," I whispered. My heart pounded in my chest.

He opened his mouth to speak but he was unable to articulate anything at all. So instead he just grinned sheepishly and asked, "Can I kiss you?"

I leaned closer and when our lips met, I closed my eyes. I felt his fingertips touch my neck, then his hand. It felt almost cool against me. My normal temperature was higher than a humans, it always had been. He noticed but it didn't bother him enough to comment on it.

His lips were so soft and it reminded me that I had to keep him from coming into contact with my teeth. My teeth were very much vampire. Sharp as razors and strong enough to cut through steel. If he knew the risks, would he be here with me?

I slid my hand around the back of his neck and up through his short, wet hair. There was barely enough there to wrap my fingers around.

He ran his fingers up the back of my neck and into my hair. His other hand pushed against my shoulder and he slowly lowered me to the couch. _Slow down, slow down_, he told himself. He obviously wasn't listening.

He kissed down my jaw and back to my lips then he started kissing down my neck. I could picture Daniel kissing me. His strong hands holding me to him. His skin against mine… I felt my eyes start to burn.

I turned my head toward the back of the couch and placed my hand flat against his perfectly chiseled chest.

His body stiffened. _Oh my God, what did I do?_

It had been way too long and the vampire was surfacing. _What?_ I asked myself. _What's the problem? _I knew the problem. I missed Danny and apparently the vampire did too. I had my eyes closed and my head turned away from Scott's face.

"What is it? What's wrong Lily?" _What was I thinking? Idiot! Too fast! Way too fast! I knew I should've slowed down._

"I'm fine, really," I said without looking at him. "Just…" I took a deep breath. "Just lots of memories I thought I was over. I'm sorry." I rolled toward the edge to get up but he held me gently against the couch. He was genuinely concerned.

"What is it? Bad memories?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, not bad at all." The burning had subsided in my eyes and I looked up at him. "I thought I could do this." I said. "But I guess I…" I sat up on the couch and he was on his knees in front of me.

Scott sat back onto his feet and looked into my eyes. His thoughts surprised me. _I knew that someone had to have loved her. How could I think I would be so lucky for someone like her to be completely unattached? I bet her father made her come here and there's some guy missing her somewhere._

"Tennessee," I said under my breath.

"Huh?" he asked. "You left memories in Tennessee?"

"Sort of," I tried to smile. "He's dead," I admitted.

_Oh my God, he's dead? How can he be dead? What could've possibly…?_ "Lily what happened?" he asked, his sincerity was overwhelming.

_Do I tell him about Daniel? _Can_ I tell him about Daniel and not give anything away? _"It's really a long story," I said quietly, looking down at my hands in my lap.

"I've got all night," he said calmly and put his hand on my cheek.

"Why?" I asked. Why _would he want to know about the boy I had loved?_ It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Because it's part of _who_ you are," he said smiling. "And since I know absolutely nothing about you, maybe it's a way to get you talking." He wiped away a tear that had escaped the pools that had formed in my eyes.

I guess he was right. I never talked much, even at the store when I stopped, it was always casual conversation. And he wasn't trying to pry, he honestly wanted to know what had happened and what Daniel had been like.

"Where do I start?"

"Preferably? The beginning," he said, staring into my eyes.

It felt strange talking to anyone about my past. I never told anyone about myself, not even Lillian, though she had figured out most of it, I assumed by my reactions and by what had delivered me to her. I never told Daniel about me either, and oddly enough, he never asked. I would've told Daniel everything, if he _had_ ever asked. If I had the power to turn him, I would've considered it. But I had no venom, I couldn't have changed him even if I, and he, wanted me too. He knew I was different somehow, and had come up with quite a few theories, and 'vampire' had even crossed his mind once or twice, but the whole sun thing disproved that theory. I was always outside in the sun and usually had a rather dark tan.

I figured I would give Scott the short, edited version. I thought for a moment then I started, reluctantly. "I was living in Tennessee at the time and there was a field not far from my house that always had horses in it. I started going there to watch the horses play and to draw them. Sometimes a friend of mine would come with me. After a while, I would ride the horses at night, when I sure no one would catch me."

"One day, around the end of the summer, there were people in the field riding the horses. I was afraid to get close, afraid I would be in trouble if the horses greeted me like they often did when I approached. I stayed in the trees so as not to be noticed. Well, I wasn't as sneaky as I though I was. One of the visitor's dogs had found me." _I'll leave out the part where I nearly ripped the poor curious pooch apart_, I thought.

I looked into Scott's eyes and he was completely enthralled with my story. I wondered why he found it so interesting. I guess the _whole_ story may be interesting, but not the edited version. I continued anyways, "Daniel rode over on my favorite bay mare and called the barking dog away from me."

I could still remember so clearly how I felt the first time I saw his eyes. And the look in Daniel's eyes when he saw me. "Our eyes locked and he asked if I was OK," _You should be asking the dog,_ I remembered thinking.

"Well," I continued to Scott, "I met him there in the forest next to the field everyday for a week. We talked and laughed and rode horses. On the eighth day his mother came looking for him and found him with me. She was not happy with him and she made it very clear that I was not welcomed there. His mother never liked me, even from day one. I never knew why. Daniel and I were together everyday regardless of her wishes. He promised he would leave with me before he would let his mother keep us apart. I truly believed that."

"After about six months his mother decided to actively keep us apart." _Well, it was more like five years, but that I couldn't tell Scott that, since that would've meant I wasn't even ten when Daniel and I met_. "She caught us together intentionally. She sent him to the car and stayed to talk to me. He wasn't going to leave but I pleaded with him not to make her any angrier. She stayed behind and threatened to take Daniel out of the country if I didn't stay away from him." _She actually threatened to have me killed._

"That night something happened and the police ended up at his house." _I honestly had no idea what had happened at his house that night._ " I couldn't get a straight story from anyone. I just knew that Daniel was gone. His mother was no help at all. She wouldn't even allow me to ask anyone questions."

"What happened?" Scott asked. "Where did Daniel go?"

"I'll never know. All I know is that five days later was his funeral. His mother, of course, wouldn't allow me to attend, so I watched him being buried from across the cemetery. That's as close as I could get. The obituary was in the paper and there was a story in the local paper about his sudden death, so I knew it wasn't just a hoax fabricated by his mother. And I had spoken to people that were at his funeral, including my friend Michelle. She had actually seen him in the casket." I took a deep breath and stared at my hands that were in my lap.

"I'm so sorry," Scott said sincerely.

"One day he was there and the next he was gone. Then my father got the job here, and here I am," I said, abruptly ending the story, though that was barely even the tip of the iceberg. I decided to leave out the part where Joyce, Daniel's mother tried to have me killed. Had I been human, she would've succeeded.

She had been convinced that I had something to do with her son's death and was determined to get revenge. She had hired her stable boy to kill me. I had gone out hunting in an attempt to pass the time and take out my frustrations over losing Daniel. I was shot in the back by the would-be assassin. He tracked the blood for miles but I was easily able to out run him. The gunshot in my back healed quickly. It didn't penetrate the vampire skin at all and healed without scarring. I had originally headed east then south. After a few days, I ended in North Georgia, Blue Ridge, where I had been… born. I don't know why I ended up there. I guess it was the only place I felt I belonged, if only because I knew how and where to hide. I spoke to Michelle occasionally and she had been the one to tell me that Joyce had been killed the day after I left. She had been thrown from a horse and hit her head. They assumed it had cracked her head and knocked her out. Then the smell of blood attracted the mountain lion that had half eaten her. Someone had later killed the lion but no one admitted to it. It was found shot in the neck a week later. At least that was the story that Michelle had gotten from the local hunters and relayed to me.

I stayed in Georgia less than a year before I felt I just had to leave. Something inside me told me that I had to, that I had to leave. I wandered east, staying somewhere new only a few months, then moving on. I wanted to go _home_, but I didn't have a home, Daniel was gone and I couldn't go back to see Michelle, only to have to leave again. I made my way east until I got as far as I could go.

I have been in Forks over two years and I was hoping this would be the first place I didn't have to leave.

Scott was staring intently into my eyes.

"You look like you're a million miles away," he said.

"Yeah, I guess I am," I said, realizing I had been lost in my thoughts. I missed Michelle. I still talked to her on occasion, even now, even though I know I shouldn't. I never told her where I was, just in case she ever had an urge to find me, though I doubted she ever would.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and shook my head. Scott wiped a tear from my cheek. I hadn't even been aware that I was crying. _Well this evening has been a disaster_, I thought_. _

"I'm so sorry," I said, looking into his blue eyes.

He didn't say anything. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my cheek.

"Sorry for what?" he asked. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Lily. I know I'm not Daniel, but I'm here. And as far as I know, I'm not going anywhere. So if you ever need to talk or if you just need a shoulder to cry on, I'll be here. I promise." _Anything you need. Anything at all, just ask. _His words were as sincere as his thoughts.

I put my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.

Edward was finally home and had come back to school. I waited anxiously in the cafeteria. Edward was on his way in, surround by his family, and Bella was on her way. _This was going to be interesting_.

The Cullens sat at their usual table and Alice was tuned to Bella's every action. From the direction of her scent to precise moment she would look at Edward. And Edward was not happy about the attention.

Bella walked into the cafeteria and walked to the lunch line, then froze when she counted five at the Cullen table. Edward's eyes caught hers for a fraction of a second and her eyes dropped to the floor. She really wasn't expecting him today, but was glad he was here. Maybe she could get some answers.

Lunch passed quickly. Edward and Bella took turns staring at each other, trying to piece together puzzles that neither of them had the box to. The big picture was much harder to piece together when only tiny fragments were visible.

I stuffed my drawing pad into my bag and scurried off to Biology. I would at least try to convince him to talk to her.

I sat down at my desk and waited. I pulled out my book, opened it and acted like I was reading. I wasn't.

Bella sat down and started doodling on her folder, a nervous twitch, I noticed. Her head was down and her hair flowed down to the desk, hiding her face.

Edward walked into the room and loudly made his presence known. Not only did Bella notice, but so did everyone else in the room. Even Mr. Banner seemed annoyed by the noise. Edward didn't notice, his thoughts were completely lost on Bella.

"Hello," he said to her.

She didn't say anything but her heart raced as did her thoughts. _He's speaking to me? Why is he talking to me? Why did he come back?_

"My name is Edward Cullen," he said, knowing that she already knew. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

He called her Bella, instead of Isabella. She would definitely catch that.

"How do you know my name?" she asked him.

Yup, she caught it. But he missed her point. He had forgotten that he had not been formally introduced. He had only heard all of the introductions of others. Everyone else knew her only as Isabella until she had corrected them.

She explained what she meant and he realized that he had slipped.

Mr. Banner walked around the room and handed out boxes of slides for our assignment today. I handed the box to my lab partner, Casey. She took it and loaded the first slide into the microscope. My thoughts were focused on Bella, she was trying so hard to concentrate on looking as intelligent as possible. She had already done the assignment in Phoenix and knew what she was looking for on the slides. _If she only knew how many times Edward had done this, _I laughed to myself.

I allowed Casey to figure out the slides herself and only confirmed when she was correct. She had her book opened in her lap under the desk. Edward had the tendency to be a tad bit over confident. He often forgot that he was once a human too and he couldn't see that she was trying to impress him. He thought she was questioning his intelligence. She wasn't.

Mike's thoughts were focused on Edward and Bella also, but for the opposite reasons mine were. He didn't like Edward at all and felt Edward was overstepping his bounds. Mike thought he had a claim on Bella since he spoke to her first. _Pft!_ I thought. Mike was the typical teenage boy, hormones raging, always fantasizing about his future conquests, and _fantasies_ were a good description. It was a very good thing that none of the other girls could hear his thoughts. If that were the case, he would have to wear a helmet to school to keep from being beaten about the head by every girl, and probably some of the boys, on a daily basis. His thoughts usually made me gag and I made it a point to stay out of his head as much a possible. But I had to keep tabs on him to make sure he never contemplated confronting Edward. That would be a total catastrophe. Edward would have him for lunch and never even think twice about it. Especially now that Bella was in the picture. I didn't think Mike would ever be dumb enough to challenge Edward, he was much more afraid of Emmett retaliating.

Edward and Bella finished the assignment quickly, speaking only one word at time.

Bella noticed that Edward's eye color was different, way different, and she asked him if he had gotten contacts. My eyebrows pulled together at his response. He said 'no'. I couldn't believe that he thought she was questioning his sight. _The color is different Edward_, I thought mockingly and I felt like hitting him in the forehead with the palm of my hand. _Duh! _He had depended way too much on his abilities. And without it, she was getting the best of him and he knew it.

The teacher came around to them thinking Edward had done the assignment.

When the teacher walked away, to my delight, Edward spoke to her. He commented on the snow and the fact that it had stopped. He thought she would be disappointed, like everyone else. Of course, he was wrong, again. _At least they were talking,_ I thought. He continued to lead the conversation and I couldn't have been more pleased. They talked about how she ended up in Forks.

Casey finished the assignment and I signaled Mr. Banner over to check the work. I was barely paying attention to anything except Edward and Bella.

"Lily?" Casey said, a little irritated.

"Yes?" I answered, coming back from being lost in someone else's conversation.

"Where are you? Apparently you're not here," she said, smiling. "I asked if you really had a date with Scott Armstrong."

"Well, it wasn't a date, first of all," I began. "Julie invited me over to watch movies." I paused. "What have you heard?"

"Nothing," she admitted. "I just heard that Scott told someone that you were a good kisser."

"Oh, did you now?" _God I hate small towns_, I thought, annoyed.

I found Scott's thoughts immediately. He was in the cooler at the grocery store, stocking the milk section. I had been so caught up in another budding relationship that I had forgotten about my own. Scott was thinking about how he could get me back to his house. He wanted to make me dinner and maybe even actually _watch_ a movie. Friday we had never gotten around to the movie. We ended up talking most of the evening. I cried a lot. He listened.

We both had fallen asleep on the couch. I remembered waking up to the sound of his heartbeat under my ear and his arms wrapped around me. There was a blanket on the floor. I guess he realized that we didn't need it. My body temperature alone was always enough to keep me warm, and being so close to him was enough for him too.

"Yup, I overheard Julie talking to someone in the hall this morning. I couldn't wait to ask you about it. He is so awesome," she mused. "He graduated last year right?"

"Yes," I said. I was wondering who Julie had been talking to this morning. And what exactly did Scott say to her? I guess I had missed a lot, but I couldn't really bring myself to concentrate on me right now. Edward and Bella were my prime focus and deep down, I knew that there was a reason.

I had almost wished Alice and I had become friends. Maybe she could see what was so important about Edward and Bella as it related to me. But I'm sure her visions would depend on my decision to actually _talk_ to one of them. I'm sure I would… someday.

The bell rang and Edward was up and across the room in a second. This was going to take longer than I thought.

After school I dropped Julie off at the grocery store and this time I went in to say hello to Scott. Figured he could use a surprise. Maybe I could catch him off guard and get him to spill what was said about Friday.

As I waited for Julie, I saw Bella nearly hit Erin backing out of the parking spot. She then backed out so slowly and carefully that it made Edward laugh. She saw him out of the corner of her eye as she drove past, but she didn't look at him.

Julie scared me when she opened the door and plopped into the seat beside me.

"Julie!" I gasped.

"Hi Lil." _I really wish Scott would stop talking about you. And I really wish everyone would stop asking about you and Scott. How do they know you came over Friday? I only told one person!_ "How was your day?" _I set up one little movie night and now Scott thinks he's found _the one_. _

"It was OK, I guess," I shrugged. "How's Scott?"

"He really likes you. You do know that right?" she said. _He really does like you. If I didn't know better I would swear you two did more than talk Friday night._

I knew he liked me. He actually _cared_ about me. I knew I shouldn't let myself get any closer to him. It was going to be hard enough to say goodbye already. Scott was human and I wasn't. It would be another two years, maybe less, before I had to leave. How could I get closer to him knowing I would have to leave him? Would he try to find me? I had never been faced with having to leave someone that I had been in love with and that had been equally in love with me. _Arrrrgh!_ I didn't want to have to think about this right now.

"Are you going to say hi to him today?" she sounded almost sad when she asked.

"Yes, I am," I admitted.

"Good, it will make his day," she smiled. _Maybe he'll propose this time_, she laughed to herself.

Julie and I pulled into the grocery store parking lot and parked in spot a few spaces from the front door. I found Scott's thoughts in the warehouse pulling a pallet jack toward an opened dock door. He was hoping he would see me today. _She was so warm, her skin was so soft. But I never imagined she would be so… so solid. I knew she must be athletic, but her body, wow! I wonder what she looks like without… No. Don't go there! I don't want anything that may scare her away. I have got to go slow with her. She's still hurting from Daniel. I want her to know that I'm here, that I'm not going anywhere. _

_Great_, I thought sarcastically. _There goes my attempt to let him down easy. _That had been the reason for today's visit. At least the beginning of letting him down easy. I guess it was just my luck that he was already expecting me to bow out.

I took a deep breath and turned the car off. Julie was already getting out of the car. I got out and followed her inside. She strolled carelessly through the store and walked through the double doors into the warehouse. She tossed her book bag onto a chair inside the door.

"Scott! You have a visitor," she called, but only loud enough to be heard in the small warehouse.

"Be there in a minute," he called back from somewhere in the back. _Did she come in? Duh, who else would it be moron. _

I put my hand over my mouth quickly to hide the sudden smile on my face. He was having a conversation with himself and I found it very amusing. Truthfully, it sounded like something that would come from my head.

"Lily?" Scott called. He was a little closer than before, then he walked around a rack of shelving that went all way to the ceiling. "Hi beautiful," he said when he saw me.

I felt my cheeks get warm.

_Aw,_ Scott thought, _and she blushes when complimented. _He put his hand on my shoulder and kissed my forehead. "I'm glad you came in this time," he said in a quite voice, close to my ear.

_OK Scott, you are not making this easy._

"I'm going to get a soda, you two behave," Julie said seriously. _You better kiss her! _

Scott took my hand and led me to the hallway just beyond the double doors. He stopped just inside and turned around.

"I have a question," he said, his head tilted slightly to one side, "Is your father going to come home and kill me when he finds out that you stayed the night Friday?"

_He's worried about my _father, I chuckled to myself at the thought.

"Uh… No Scott, I promise he won't come home and kill you."

_Can I please kiss you_, his thoughts were clear. He wanted to kiss me, well, a lot more than that actually, but he would never even attempt to do anything that I didn't prompt.

So I put his mind at ease. I put my hand on his neck and pulled him toward me. He gently pushed me against the wall. His lips met mine, his fingers were in my hair, the weight of his body against me. His emotions overtook me and my eyes burned. _Easy Lily_, I told myself. I grabbed a handful of his short hair and kissed him hard, but carefully. _Watch the teeth. _I kissed him until the vampire calmed and my eyes cooled. He kissed down my neck and rested his head on my shoulder.

_I love you_, he thought, but didn't say it out loud. He was afraid it would scare me away. He kissed my neck again and looked into my eyes. I looked at the floor for a moment to make sure the burn was gone, then I looked up into his eyes. He opened his mouth to speak and stopped him. I kissed him gently.

"Shh. Don't," I whispered and shook my head slowly. "I need to go."

His thoughts were a flurry of contradicting statements and actions.

I smiled at his pained face. "I'll see you tomorrow."

His face smoothed and the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. "Promise?" he asked.

"I promise." Then I ducked under his arm and walked out of the double doors. I laughed to myself at his warring thoughts. Part of him wanted to picture me one way and part of him wanted to picture me another way and neither one quite won.

I was in bed, staring at the ceiling. Edward was hunting with Carlisle. He watched as Carlisle remembered his departure the previous Monday. I watched intently as their conversation progresses. Carlisle asked _why_ Edward came back to Forks. I didn't understand the question. Why wouldn't have he come back? I wondered. Carlisle was his father for all practical purposes, the reason he existed.

"But you should do what you can to keep the Swan child alive. Even it means you must leave us again." Carlisle said to Edward.

The statement replayed in my mind many times but it didn't quite sink in. Carlisle believed that Edward was capable of hurting Bella? How could that be? Edward was _in love_ with Bella, although he couldn't see it yet. He would never hurt Bella. Jasper maybe. Or even Rosalie perhaps, but never Edward.

But _Carlisle_ believed that his own son was capable of harming Bella. Was there something that I was missing? Was it possible that Edward wasn't the person I thought he was? Was Carlisle just giving Edward the freedom to make his own choices, knowing he would never harm her but not wanting to interfere with Edward's inner conflict? I did understand how seductive her scent was to him, I had felt it, even tasted it myself, but it was so much more than that. He was drawn to her. Just as with Edward to her, everything about _her_ drew _him_ in, her scent, his inability to read her mind, even her all telling eyes made him want to be with her. But hurt her? Just for the sake of drinking her blood? No, not Edward.

I rarely ever slept all the way through the night but, I slept more restlessly than usual that night. My dreams were of Edward. He was protecting Bella from other vampires then he turned on me. Bella stopped him.


	3. Chapter 3: Protectors

**Protectors**

I woke like I hadn't slept at all. I went to the mirror and my eyes were puffy and dark. I tried to cover it up with makeup. It didn't help much.

I walked out into the cold morning air. The ground, the car and the road was covered with a thin white layer of snow. Everything else was covered with a layer of ice. The rain from the day before had frozen solid around everything. _The roads should be fun today._

I pulled into the school parking lot just ahead of the Cullen family. Edward was searching for Bella. She wasn't here yet but she wasn't far away. She was taking it slow this morning because the roads were slick. Charlie had put chains on her rear tires before he left for work. He wasn't about to let his baby girl drive in this weather without doing all he could to protect her. It wasn't enough that he bought her the closest thing to a tank as he could get.

I sat in the car as Bella parked her faded red Chevy truck. Edward was standing beside his silver Volvo, watching Bella. I stepped out of my car about the same time Bella walked to the back of her truck to look at the chains Charlie had put on the truck's tires. She was very touched by the gesture.

Then out of nowhere, Tyler's van came screeching through the parking lot. It was headed right for Bella. My thoughts shot directly to Edward. He was the only one that could've done anything. I knew he would be reluctant and the rest of his siblings would be pissed, but I promised myself that I would protect them. If anyone was to see what was about to happen, I would convince them that they didn't, or that they were just crazy, whatever it took.

The van screeched ever closer to Bella. Edward was standing beside his car, his thoughts were focused on Alice's vision of the ensuing event.

Edward, please! _NOT HER!_ I yelled as loud as I could through my thoughts to Edward. Then in a flash, he was pulling her out of the way of the van but the van kept coming. He held the van up for a split second while he pulled her legs out the way then he let the van fall. The windows shattered on impact.

"Bella, are you all right?" he asked her.

"I'm fine," she said as an automatic response.

The relief I felt when I heard her voice was so overwhelming I almost fainted. I had never been so happy to hear someone speak in my whole existence. She was alive and that's all I needed to know. Now I had to do what I had promised.

The panic set in as everyone else realized what had just transpired. Within minutes, the approaching sirens could be heard. I searched the thoughts of the bystanders and made mental notes of the ones who thought they saw Edward at his car after the sound of the screeching tires. There were only three, unfortunately Julie was one of them. One person thought they saw Edward physically stop the van. _That would be easy enough to fix_, I thought. Then, was there Bella. She was completely Edward's to deal with. She wouldn't betray him, I was sure of that. For one, he had just saved her life, and two, he was with her, and she wouldn't do anything to change that.

The ambulance arrived and the EMT's loaded Bella on a stretcher, against her wishes of course. Charlie arrived. He was distraught. He didn't know what to expect when he arrived and was prepared for the worst. When he saw Bella, conscious and being her cantankerous self against all the attention, he felt better, though he was still very concerned.

I followed the ambulance to the hospital since the people I needed to concentrate on were headed there too.

At the hospital, I walked into the waiting room and sat down. I waited for Julie, Erin, Mark and Casey. They were the ones that I was most concerned about. They were quite sure of what they had seen this morning. I would convince them that that was what they had only thought they had seen. It wouldn't be very hard. Human minds were weak and all I had to do was plant a different version of events and then the seemingly impossible would be just that, impossible.

I pictured this morning's events differently in my head. I rearranged the timing slightly to make it plausible that Edward had saved her, without his abilities. I pictured him walking the four car lengths down to Bella's truck _before_ the screeching started. Then I pictured Edward moving Bella out of the way as the van hit the rear of the truck then bounced and slid into the truck again busting the windows. It was perfectly plausible and it was far easier to accept than the actual truth.

Julie walked in and sat down beside me.

"Hey Jules," I said.

"Can you believe it?" she asked. "The Swan girl? Lucky for her that Edward likes her huh."

"I guess," I said. "Did you see what happened?" I asked innocently.

She looked around the room as if to see if anyone was listening? "Yes. It was like Edward disappeared and reappeared saving Bella," Julie whispered to me.

"Disappeared?" I laughed. "Are you sure you didn't just miss the _walking over to her_ part?" I pictured the alternate version in my head and explained it to Julie as I did, planting the seed a little deeper. _Nothing like a little subtle mental persuasion to mess with your friends,_ I thought to myself and chuckled.

"No," she began, "it was like one minute he was at his car then screeching, then he was saving Bella."

"The screeching started long before the crunch," I said. "He walked over to her truck while she was looking at her tires. _Then_ the screeching started." I pictured it clearly in my head and showed it to Julie as I spoke. Then I showed it to her again.

I laughed out loud, a little too loud maybe.

"What's so funny," she asked.

"I'm just picturing 'Super Edward', faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound… I wonder what he'd look like in a cape?" I laughed.

"Very funny. OK maybe he did walk over to her," she finally conceded.

"Of course he walked over," I shook my head and smiled at her, "it just happened so fast, everything blurred together."

_OK_, I thought, _one down, three to go_. I sat there with Julie until I saw Casey walk out of the restroom. I looked at Julie and smiled. "Su-per Ed-ward," I sang.

"Go away," Julie rolled her eyes and looked away.

I convinced Casey and Erin that they had seen exactly what I had shown Julie. It didn't take very long. Then I went to talk to Mark. He had seen a tiny glimpse of Edward hold the van up as Bella's legs where tossed out of the way. It had been an impossibly lucky angle from which Mark had seen the incident. I had seen it in his head multiple times as he replayed it, trying to make sense of it. I played the images in my head and suddenly knew how to easily dispel what he had seen. It was simple really, he just didn't see the bumper of Bella's tank of a truck catch the frame of the van as Edward was moving Bella's legs out of the way. I slowed the image down in my head and slightly offset the angle so that Bella's truck and momentum was responsible for the uplifting of the van, and not Edward. Perfect.

I spoke to Mark only a minute before he was convinced that he had only seen part of the whole picture. Even I would've believed the alternate version. It was much more plausible than Edward holding up the van and simultaneously moving Bella's legs out of the way of the plummeting projectile.

Edward and his family were safe from exposure. No one had seen what happened, at least no one that was going to admit it. I smiled.

I searched for Bella's thoughts. She was doing well. Edward was sneaking a peek at her x-rays. They were fine too.

I returned to school.

I searched the thoughts of everyone I encountered during the day. I was determined to keep my promise I had made to Edward. No one was going to say anything damaging about Edward's actions today.

I knew that Edward would have a fight on his hands when he got home. Rosalie and Jasper were already plotting ways to kill Bella and make it look like an accident. And Edward would do everything in his power to stop them.

The buzz around the school was, of course, the accident.

_It was a good thing Edward was there… it happened so fast… it almost crushed her… barely dented her truck… guess she hit her head harder than she thought… she's OK… amazing no one got hurt or killed…_

Not one single thought was out of the ordinary. Even the people that _had_ seen what had really happened, no longer believed what they had seen. I grinned to myself.

Bella didn't come back to school but Edward did.

He fought with himself on what to do. Did he tell everyone that Bella hit her head, that she was seeing things.

No, Edward wouldn't do that, even if it would make things easier to explain if anything did arise from eye witnesses.

His thoughts were on Bella all day. He wanted to ditch school and go see her, but he decided against it. He also kept tabs on Jasper and Rosalie. There would certainly be a heated discussion at home.

After school I went straight home. I changed into sweats and got comfortable on the couch. I was focused on Edward and the argument to come. I didn't wait long. Once the Cullen siblings arrived home they gathered around the dining room table and the discussion ensued.

Rosalie didn't want to move again and her solution to the situation was to kill Bella, make it look like an accident and be done with it. Everything was always so simple to Rose.

Carlisle managed to convince everyone that the best course of action would be to sit back and wait to see what happened. Then the discussion took and unexpected turn. Alice had seen the future. A future where her and Bella were friends. I didn't focus on Alice, but Edward did. I could see her visions in his head. I watched in awe.

The future was net set, but the implications were there. He still denied it.

"Ahh, Edward! How can you be so blind?" I shouted out loud. I squeezed my head between my hands and slid down into the couch. "Open your eyes Edward!"

That was it though, Bella was part of him. I had known that from the beginning and now it was set in stone, well, nearly set in stone. There were things that could happen, I knew that, but it was clear that Edward and Bella were to be together. The only question was, 'How long would Edward fight it?'

For six weeks after the accident, Edward and Bella did not speak. It was maddening. I knew that there had to be a reason he could not hear her thoughts. She was the one exception, the _one_ he could not hear. I wanted so badly to lock into her thoughts walk up to him, stare him in the eye and let him listen to what he was missing. He was too caught up in trying to let her go to see that she _wanted_ him to stay.

She loved him. He loved her. But they were too damn stubborn to admit it. The other was just too damn stubborn to break the silence first. They were making me crazy.

_Don't look at him_, she would think. _What is she thinking_? would drift through his head a dozen times a day.

Finally, one day in Biology their eyes locked and he finally spoke to her. It was short lived. She was reluctant to speak to him, fearing the silence that would follow. He made the situation worse after school by blocking her exit and trapping her in her truck so Tyler could ask her to the dance. He knew she would say no, but he wanted to make sure he got his chance just so he could see her reaction.

I wondered if I could take a bite out of Edward before him or one of his siblings killed me. He was driving me insane and a quick death would almost be welcome at this point. I laughed to myself and drove home, annoyed more than ever with Edward and his little game. But maybe this was a good sign. At least it was something.


	4. Chapter 4: Realizations

**Realizations**

That night I could not sleep at all. I tossed and turned and tried drift into sleep, but sleep I did not. My mind was on Bella. The events of the day had her thinking of Edward, even in sleep. She was with him in her dreams. I wished I could show Edward what she was dreaming about. I searched for his thoughts and suddenly I was sitting straight up in bed.

He was in her room! He was watching her sleep! In her dream, she spoke his name aloud. In that instant I was so acutely aware of Edward that I swore I could feel him falling in love with her. I could _taste_ her scent. I could _feel_ the heat of her body on _my_ skin.

"Oh my God," I mumbled in a slow whisper. I placed my hands on the bed to steady myself. "He finally gets it."

Things would be different now, I was sure of that. He would no longer fear killing her. He would never be able to bear losing her, not in any way, least of all by his own hand. He would die for her. If he could only see that she felt the same way. If he could only know that she loved him just as much, if not more. If he could only see that fate had finally laid down her cards. _The hand of fate, never loses._

The next morning at school Edward greeted Bella in the parking lot. She was still irritated with the scene he had caused the day before. To Edward, it had seemed like weeks had passed since yesterday. So much had transpired overnight.

Bella dropped her truck key into a puddle when she got out of her truck and in a flash Edward was handing them to her.

"How do you _do_ that?" she asked incredulously.

"Do what?" he asked innocently, leaning against her truck.

She held out her hand and he dropped the key onto her palm.

"Appear out of thin air," she said, eyebrows raised, eyes wide.

"Bella, it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant," he said.

I laughed at his joke. Obviously she didn't think it was funny. Her brow furrowed and she glowered at him.

They continued to talk on the way to class. He asked if she wanted to ride to Seattle with him the day of the dance. She had told Mike Newton she was going to Seattle as an excuse and Edward used it to his advantage. And she said yes, well, nodded yes, she couldn't exactly speak. Bella walked into class late. Edward, of course, did not.

The day went by relatively quickly. Before I knew it, the bell rang for lunch. I knew Edward was planning on sitting alone with Bella today. He had been looking forward to it all day.

In the cafeteria, I sat by myself as usual, pencil to drawing pad. When Bella walked in, her first reaction was utter disappointment when she reflexively looked to the table where Edward usually sat. He wasn't there. He was sitting on the other side of the cafeteria, staring at her, waiting for her to notice. Jessica noticed first and pointed it out to Bella. And was quite rude about it. I wanted to throw something at her, like a brick, but thought better of it.

Edward motioned for Bella to join him. My hand continued to draw blankly, my real focus was on Edward and Bella.

I listened to their conversation and their thoughts. So frustrating. She was as lost in his eyes as he was in hers, but they just couldn't see it. He couldn't get past the fact that he was a vampire and she couldn't get past the fact that she felt he was too good for her. She couldn't see what he saw in her and he couldn't see what she saw in him. It's not something you can see. When has anyone been able to explain love? Who has ever been able to explain why the forces that be, choose to make two individuals two parts of a whole? This is still going to take time, I thought, but at least they were together. Now the only thing left was for them was to realize they both felt the same way about the other. Again, time.

She knew he was more than human, but only had fantasy to base the fact on. She would figure it out soon enough, I was sure of that.

The bell rang. It was time for Biology class. I didn't jam my drawing pad into my bag as quickly as usual and as the Cullens were leaving the cafeteria, Emmett stopped behind me and looked over my shoulder at the pencil drawing that was still opened. I was following Edward's thoughts as he left with Bella, but the hair was standing up on the back of my neck so I knew that one of the other vampires had stopped behind me. I fought the fight or flight response and just sat in my chair, frozen.

I saw in his thoughts that he was looking intently at the drawing. It was a drawing of a face, of what I remembered of my mother. Blue eyes on a beautiful, perfect face. The hair was long and fluidly fell over her shoulder. The lips were full. The jaw rounded then smoothed into soft, high cheekbones. The shadows over and around her eyes made the stare intensely vampire-like.

"Is that Rosalie?" Emmett asked. His voice was both amazed and appalled. _Why would this human be drawing my girlfriend? Humm, but it is very good._

My jaw clinched and I took a really deep breath before I spoke. "It's my mother," I said shyly. "What I remember of her anyways." I had been drawing absently, as I usually did when I was listening to either Edward or Bella. The drawings were normally of the horses from the farm in Tennessee, but today it was of a person. I looked at the drawing as if seeing it for the first time. I held it up and stared at it for a long moment. "It _does_ kind of look like Rosalie, doesn't it?" The set of the eyes and curve of the jaw were very similar to Rose. The hair was darker and of course the eyes were lighter, but I guess it could've been an older version of Rosalie. I guess I could see now why Scott and Julie had compared _me_ to Rose. I did resemble my mother. At least from what I could remember.

I had gotten lost in my own thoughts and when I tapped back into Emmett's he was thinking about Esme. _That would be awesome. I bet no one else would think of that. Maybe even for Rose too. She'd like that, I think._

I turned to look at him.

"Are you and your mom close?" he asked. Not because he wanted to know the answer, but because he wanted to know where he could get a look at her for himself.

"She's dead," I said coldly.

"Oh. Sorry." He almost sounded sincere.

He turned to look at the doorway. Rosalie was waiting, very impatiently, for him.

"Can we talk later?" he whispered quickly.

I don't think a human would've understood the low slur of words.

"Uh, sure. I guess. Why?" I asked, confused.

In a blur, he grabbed the pencil from my hand and scribbled a phone number lightly across the bottom of the drawing.

"The later, the better," he said and turned to walk away.

I really wish I had been paying attention to his thoughts a minute ago. I listened, hoping he would give me a better hint of what he wanted, but he was thinking of an excuse to tell Rose.

_Great_, I thought as I heard Rosalie's angry thoughts.

_I'll rip her throat out if I ever catch him with her. So what, she has blue eyes, I'll rip them out too._

Wow and he had only stopped to look at a drawing. What if he had asked for something? And I had given it to him? I could see a jealous Rosalie flying across tables to tear my heart out in front of the entire school. Rose wasn't someone that liked competition. She still resented Edward for rejecting her. She would never understand that Edward wasn't looking for outer beauty when that had been all she had ever known.

I worried often about Rose and Bella. Would Rose accept Bella? Would she tolerate Bella's presence? I couldn't see that she really had a choice though. Edward wasn't going to let anything hurt Bella. Even one of his own family members would become the enemy if they threatened Bella's life. But it would still be very hard for Edward if it came to that.

I closed my drawing pad, tossed it in my bag along with my pencil and trotted off to class.

Edward didn't go to class and I saw why. Blood typing day in Biology. I ditched class too. Although I did have blood, it wasn't a type that could be determined by the simple test in biology class. I had the test done once and all of the samples turned black when the chemicals where mixed with my blood. I really didn't want to have to try to explain that, nor did I want the same results to baffle Mr. Banner every time the test was done. Ditching _was_ healthy, especially today.

I figured out that Emmett wanted me to paint a family portrait as a gift for Esme. He also wanted me to paint a portrait of Rosalie. He wasn't sure what kind of portrait Rosalie would like the most, a Victorian aristocrat in 18th century attire, or a tasteful nude. The images in his head of her were quite beautiful on both counts.

In the Victorian image, she was sitting in a high backed chair, flared and rounded at the top. The dress she wore was red with pink trim and accents. There was a vase of red roses sitting on a small round table beside her. White and green Baby's Breath dotted the roses. Her long blond hair curled around her face and, set against the darkness of the dress, seemed to curl right off the canvas. Her pale skin and mocha colored eyes framed by her blond hair against the darker colors of the chair and dress… the image in Emmett's head was quite impressive. Then he pictured the other one.

Rosalie was standing in a garden full of flowers of every kind. Roses, irises, daisies, tulips, in every color imaginable, and grew from every crevice at every angle. She was looking off into the distance and slightly upward. Her chin was tilted up, her head only a tiny bit to one side. Her face was serene. One arm was raised over her head as if she were reaching for something. Her other arm swung freely at her side as if she were in mid stride. The contours of her perfect, pale body silhouetted against the dark greenery and rainbow of color. A single cobalt blue ribbon of silk wrapped and blew around and around her body. It draped her arm and over one shoulder, around and over the top of her breasts and dropped over her waist and wrapped itself down her leg.

Both images were stunning. They gave me a new respect for Emmett and his artistic ability. I had never pictured him having any before today.

The painting he had pictured for Esme wasn't as artistic, just a family portrait of all of the Cullens. I should go by the art store in Port Angeles. I would buy four large canvases, just so Emmett would think that I had had them all along.

Instead of Biology class, I went art shopping, as I called it. On the way to the art store, I saw Edward carrying Bella to the office. She had nearly passed out from the blood in Biology. I chuckled to myself. _In love with a vampire and blood makes her woosy. Perfect._

Edward drove her home and they talked more. I was very pleased. Edward and Emmett were leaving to go hunting, they wouldn't be at school tomorrow. I guess I had to wait until it was overcast again before I'd have a chance to meet with Emmett.

At the art store, I bought canvases and more paint, more brushes and more stuff that I really didn't need, like sketch pads and even more art pencils. I loved to shop for art supplies and I could spend hours in an art store just looking and thinking of all the things I could make or paint or build. Creating was a very good way to pass the time, especially when that's basically all you had.

When I got home I called Emmett, reluctantly, knowing that Rosalie would eventually be a problem. She was already jealous that he had even stopped for two minutes to talk to me. What would happen when she found out he had been to my house?

Which reminded me… "What was Scott going to think?"

Scott wasn't the jealous type at all though. I was sure that one quick explanation would suffice. It's not like I was doing anything bad. I was painting a picture for a friend, I guess I could call him a friend, and that was all. Scott wouldn't have a problem with that. And if for any reason he did, he can just come over and stay while Emmett was here. That probably wasn't a bad idea. That would mean that there would be a witness if Rosalie showed up to rip my eyes out.

"Emmett?" I asked when someone answered.

"Yes. Lily?" Emmett replied.

"Yes. You wanted me to call?"

"Yes, thank you," he said in an almost boyish tone. "Can we talk at your house after school one day next week? I want to commission you to do a painting."

"Commission me?" I confirmed.

"Yes," he said.

"And how much are we talking here?" I asked, not that I cared, but was curious just the same.

"Two grand," he paused a moment and I could hear Edward playing the piano in the background, "if that's enough, I mean."

"Uh," I was tongue tied for a second, "What do you want the paintings of?"

"A family portrait," he said.

"Sure," I said, "I think I can do that. Do you have pictures or will it be a live sitting?"

"Uh, I don't know," he sounded perplexed. "I'm not sure. Can we talk about it tomorrow?"

"OK, I guess we'll talk later then."

"Awesome. Later then," he said and hung up.

The next day was uneventful. I went to my classes, did my assignments and listened to Bella mostly, since Edward was away. She was bummed that Edward wasn't there. The only difference that day was that I listened to Emmett occasionally too.

Usually what was in his mind, came out of his mouth. There was no big mystery with Emmett. I was still impressed with the images he had conjured up for me to paint of Rosalie. I was curious as to how he would explain them to me, especially the nude. He would have me paint the Victorian, I was sure.

He did love Rosalie, that was evident, and he wanted more than anything to make her happy. He was constantly trying to surprise her. But after decades, new ideas were few and far between.

I spent Friday night with Scott and Julie. Of course she disappeared shortly after Scott joined us after his shower. He and I watched a movie and eventually ended up talking in his room. I told him I had to leave early to meet everyone going to La Push in the morning. He already knew. Julie was going too, so he already knew. He had to be at work early anyways.

"I think I'm going to get my own place soon," he told me. "There's a small house for rent that I can afford to get on my own."

"Cool," I smiled widely. "But what about Julie? Won't she be upset?"

"She thinks a great idea, actually."

"Really?" I was a little confused. I thought she'd be upset he was moving.

"She knows she'll be welcome anytime she wants to come over," he smiled, understanding my expression.

I laughed. "Of course." It would be like her place too.

He leaned toward me and kissed me gently. His thoughts were the usual conflicting thoughts. One part wanted to be the perfect gentleman, the other, didn't.

I kissed him back just as gently. His fingers were in my hair and he was pushing me back onto the bed. I didn't stop him. He kissed me harder. He slid his arm under my back and slid my body up the bed so my legs were all the way on the bed too. I felt the muscles in his back tense as he moved me. My heartbeat sped and I wrapped my arms tightly around him, pulling him on top of me and kissing him harder.

I took deep breaths and concentrated on suppressing the vampire.

He kissed across my cheek to my ear. His breath tickled in my ear when he spoke.

"Your skin is so soft and always so warm," he whispered in my ear then kissed slowly down my neck to my collar.

I slid my hands under his tee shirt and up his back, then I ran my fingernails down the length of his back to his waist. His whole body tensed under my hands. He pushed himself off of me and lifted his shirt over his head. He lowered his body down to mine and I pushed his shoulder to flip him over onto his back. I straddled him around his waist. He looked at me wide eyed from his back. _Damn, she's a lot stronger than I thought, _he thought.

He sat up and wrapped his arms around me. His lips were cool and wet against the base of my neck. I pushed him against the bed, slid my bra off my shoulders and began kissing him. My skin was much warmer than his but his body shuttered when my weight was against him. He kissed me then rolled me over onto my back. He pushed himself up onto his hands and looked down at me. His thoughts were jumbled.

I reached for him and his body was almost shaking. I kissed him slowly and his body became even more rigid. He was thinking about what my father would do to him if he found out. I ran my fingers slowly through his hair with one hand and stroked his back with the other. He relaxed a little.

I wanted to tell him that I was older than he thought I was, but knew that I couldn't do that.

"You're shaking," I whispered in his ear.

I woke the next morning to a gentle kiss on my temple. I lifted my head off his shoulder to see his blue/gray eyes looking into mine.

"Good morning, beautiful," he said grinning widely.

"Aarrrrg," I mumbled under my breath and put my head back on his shoulder. I ran my fingertips across his ribs. Chills covered his skin and I grinned and kissed his chest. He kissed my hair.

"Do you want breakfast? You must be starving. I am," he said sliding his shoulder out from under me.

I sighed and let him get dressed. He had a nice body, broad shoulders and a small waist, strong arms and a rigid, contoured stomach.

He looked at me over his shoulder. I lay on my side, a pillow against my chest, and stared at him. He leaned across the bed and kissed me.

"You can go ahead and shower if you'd like," he said as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He was planning on bringing me breakfast and he was hoping I liked pancakes. I dragged myself out of bed and took a quick shower and put on clean clothes.

"Morning Scott, have a good evening?" Julie asked as Scott walked into the kitchen.

"Yes," he said and from Julie's point of view, I saw him blush.

His mother didn't miss it either. "So, how is Lily this morning?" she asked, probing for answers.

"Um, she's still asleep," he blushed.

His mother's thoughts surprised me. _She seems nice enough and he's liked her since the first day she was at school. I'm so glad she likes him too. I haven't seen him glow like this in years._ She was _glad_ I was there. She must really trust her son to have a girl spend the night.

I wasn't sure I wanted to face her though. I figured I'd stay upstairs and wait for Scott to come back. He brought me breakfast and I ate it, reluctantly. What I really wanted was a raw steak. Even though I had slept, I felt weak, which usually meant that I was more thirsty than hungry. I rarely let myself get to this point but fighting to suppress the vampire took concentration and a lot of mental energy. The vampire still needed blood. Something I wouldn't get here. I would have to wait until I got home. I had fresh, bloody meat in the fridge at home. I made sure I kept some there, just in case. I never knew when it may be necessary.

I told Scott about the phone call with Emmett. There were no thoughts of jealousy at all. He was more impressed that Emmett had chosen me. Scott thought highly of the Cullens but felt they were above us, socially. I would have to change his mind about that, I thought.

I left in time to meet the others at Olympic Outfitters, waving to his mother shyly as I walked to the door. Scott walked me all the way to my car, opened the door and kissed me before he let me leave.

"I love you," he whispered softly in my ear.

I looked into his eyes, "I love you too," and I stroked his cheek with the back of my fingers and kissed him again before I got in the car. I wasn't sure that's the way I really felt, but I had to say it back to him. It would've crushed him otherwise and that was the last thing I wanted to do. He truly cared for me.

Julie rolled her eyes, but didn't say anything. Her thoughts on the other hand… _blah, blah, blah, come on Lily, let's go already._


	5. Chapter 5: La Push

**La Push**

We arrived at the store before Bella. Julie and I were standing by the Mike's Suburban when she arrived. Casey gave her a dirty look when she glanced in our direction. Lauren made a comment about Edward having a thing for Bella and looked at Bella scornfully. I rolled my eyes and wanted to tell Lauren to be nice. I really wanted to smack her upside the back of her head, but I knew I'd never get away with it.

Bella rode in the front with Mike and Jessica. Julie, Lauren, Casey and I were in the second set and Connor and Ben sat in the third row. It was a short drive to La Push and Bella soaked in the sun and greenery on the way.

I hung out with Julie most of the day. Bella tried to avoid Lauren at all costs. Later in the day she and Jacob went off together to talk. I followed silently and made a wide circle around them when they stopped to sit on a bleached trunk on the beach.

Bella was asking about Edward as indirectly as she possibly could. Jacob fell for her alluring tone, hook, line and sinker. I laughed to myself, _Bella should stop before he tried to eat the rod and reel._

He told her the story of the Quileutes and the cold ones. I listened from further down the beach. Jacob confirmed her suspicions about Edward. Luckily, Jacob didn't believe the stories himself, but now Bella knew she had been correct. Edward was _not_ human.

The ride back to Forks was quiet. Bella laid her head back against the seat and tried not to think about Edward. Once she was home she put in a CD, put on her headphones, cranked up the volume and tried to forget everything.

That night her sleep was restless. Edward's thoughts rang loud and clear from the forest south of Rainier. He was worried about her. He wanted to be in Forks, in her room, with her as she slept.

The next day she did some research on the internet about vampires. Nothing she found satisfied her, however, and the search only led to her irritation and she went for a walk in the forest. She listed over and over the things that she knew and the myths that Jacob had told her and the things she had read online. She knew Edward was something, but she refused to believe that he was something sinister. Her mind went around and around and she tried to make sense of it all, but the only thing she knew for sure was that she could not go back to not knowing him. She couldn't go back and pretend that there wasn't something more. I wanted to shout to her that they were in love with each other, but that would accomplish nothing.

Edward had gone hunting with Emmett for the weekend and he had finally come to terms that he was in love with Miss Swan. He couldn't wait to get back to Forks. He just wasn't comfortable being away from his fragile, breakable Bella. Friends of Jasper's were coming to Forks for a visit and this made Edward uncomfortable knowing that Bella was vulnerable and I was not happy knowing that two vampires, human blood consuming vampires, were going to be in Forks.

Monday was a bright sunny day and the Cullens were not at school. Well, not _in_ school, anyways. Edward stayed on the fringes of the forest and watched Bella sit and daydream before school started. When Mike Newton joined Bella at the plastic bench, Edward uprooted a few trees in jealousy. I laughed to myself as I drove to school and listened to Edward and Bella's thoughts.

After school, Bella spent time outside, lying on a blanket and reading as Edward watched from the forest. She fell asleep and he got closer. I was very tempted to wake her up so she would catch him, but I was afraid it may do more harm than good.

They were always thinking about each other. How long was it going to take for them to finally realize that? This was going to drive me to the brink of insanity, I was sure of it.

The next day, school came and went and Bella went with Jessica and Angela to Port Angeles so they could buy dresses. Bella wanted to find a bookstore. Jess drove and they were there by four o'clock. Edward went home to get his car and decided to stay for a bit. After Jasper's company had left, Edward left for Port Angeles.

The sun was still shining when he arrived so he parked in an overgrown driveway outside of town and waited. He casually listened to Jess and Angela but wasn't paying close enough attention to realize that Bella had left them to go find a bookstore. She found the store but it wasn't what she was looking for so she went looking for another. I was focused on Bella's thoughts and when I realized that she was being followed I very subtly asked Edward, _Where's Bella? _He searched the thoughts of the other two girls and hadn't even thought for a second that she would go out on her own. He saw in Jessica's thoughts the bookstore that Bella would've gone to and he started there.

I watched and listened intently to everything that was going on around Bella. She was being herded into trouble and all I could do was pray that Edward found her in time. There was no way I could get there and in order for me to be able to read the thoughts of the ones after her, she had to talk to them. I had already been able to focus on the one that had spoken to her.

I couldn't sit at home and do nothing. I ran out into the garage, threw the cover off of my other car and opened the garage door. My other car was a bit nicer than the Charger. A Mercedes SL65 AMG was a bit too much car to be driven by a fifteen year old in Forks, so it stayed covered in the garage most of the time. The shiny black convertible was also a lot quieter than the Charger and was a lot less obvious when it was going past at a hundred and twenty miles an hour. I stepped on the gas and closed the garage door as I turned out of the driveway, tires squealing, and the quiet power of the V12 humming.

Edward was closing in on Bella's location. I wasn't overly familiar with Port Angeles, but I knew where Bella was and Edward was heading in that direction.

Bella rounded a corner and when she saw the other two men she had seen earlier, she too realized what I had already figured out and I stepped harder on the gas pedal. The speedometer passed one hundred and fifty.

Edward's silver Volvo skidded to a stop not five feet from Bella. _Oh, Thank you_, I thought to no one in particular. Bella was safe, but I was going to teach those dirty freaks a lesson or two.

I drove to Port Angeles in just under half an hour and found the four men at a bar. Lonnie, I had heard his name in Edward's thoughts, was disappointed that Bella had gotten away. I sat in the car and listened to Edward and Bella talk while they sat alone in a restaurant. They had found Jess and Angela as the two were leaving. Edward offered to take Bella home after he had gotten her dinner and of course everyone agreed, especially Bella. She wanted to be alone with him. I was just relieved that they had finally accepted the fact that they were destined to be together. Now only if they would believe that the love they had was mutual. That was going to be the problem.

I listened to them talk for a little while as I allowed myself to calm down. The last thing this tiny tourist town needed was the unexplained dismemberment of four boys, well, young men as they would probably be called on the news. I focused briefly on Alice to try to determine whether or not Edward was going to do what I had every intention of doing myself, but nothing had been decided yet. Edward still wanted to kill them, but at the same time, he didn't want to leave Bella alone.

I leaned my head back against the head rest and dozed off into dreamland.

In the dream, I was watching the door of the bar where the boys were. I watched one come out and quietly got out of the car. I followed him as he stumbled to his car.

"Hey, asshole," I called from a few yards away.

He looked up and gave me an angry look.

"Yes, you," I said as I walked up to him.

"What?" he stammered. "How old are you? Twelve?" he asked.

"Something like that," I answered. "I did hear that you like 'em young. Like the one you cornered earlier."

"Hey, that wasn't my idea, OK," he said, sounding a little more sober.

"Well do you know that your buddy has done that before? Only no one was there to rescue the girl and she ended up raped and dead. Did you know that?" I asked incredulously.

He shook his head slowly in disbelief, "Uh, no," he said. "I thought it was just a game."

"It is a game to Lonnie, a deadly one."

"I… I didn't know. I swear. I wouldn't have hurt her," he said and he sounded sincere.

"But would you have stopped Lonnie from hurting her?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe?" he said, unsure. "I don't know."

I didn't say anything else. I stepped back into the shadows and let him leave. I waited for the next one to come out. Then I awakened by the sound of a slamming car door. I looked at the clock and I had been asleep for nearly two and a half hours.

I watched as Carlisle walked into the bar. Edward was already on his way back to Bella. I listened intently to the conversation between Carlisle and Lonnie. Carlisle offered to buy him a drink and in the blink of an eye, Carlisle had injected Lonnie with something and was escorting Lonnie out of the bar. He nearly had to carry him the last few yards to his waiting Mercedes. Carlisle put his now limp body in the front seat and was soon driving him away. Edward had done the right thing in letting his father take care of the serial rapist. I, on the other hand, wasn't bound by the need of Bella's approval. So I waited for the others to come out. One had already left and I had hoped that the dream was some sort of justification in letting him go. Hopefully he hadn't known about Lonnie and that he truly would not have hurt Bella. I had to believe that that was the case. And so I waited.

I didn't have to wait very long. I followed the next loser to his car. He had parked a ways away from the bar in some dimly lit lot a few blocks away. This pleased me more than it should have.

"Hey, asshole," I yelled when I was sure that no one was within earshot.

"Screw you!" He yelled back.

I smiled to myself. This was going to fun.

"You'd like to, wouldn't you?" I said as I stepped under the one light in the lot.

He squinted his eyes and looked at me, stretching his neck as if to get a better look. I was wearing a pair of faded blue jeans, a white polo shirt and a black wool and leather varsity jacket. He laughed. "Do you have a death wish, kid?"

"Maybe," I smiled. "Do _you_ like to harass little girls on secluded streets?"

"Maybe," he grinned evilly.

This one wasn't Lonnie, but his thoughts were just as vile. He had never actually hurt anyone, but it wasn't beyond him to do so. I walked right up to him and stopped. I looked up at him and stared.

"So? What are you waiting for?" I finally asked.

"What's with you, kid? Do you have a new can of pepper spray you want to try out or something?" he asked.

"Nope," I said and held out my hands. "No pepper spray, no weapons, just a grudge."

"A grudge? Were you in the car that rescued her?" he asked, trying to figure out what I had seen.

"Nope, wasn't even in town," I said cheerfully.

He looked at me for a moment and his thoughts disgusted me. He thought of how young and pretty I was and how much fun it would be to get me in the back seat of his old Honda Accord. He wondered how much of a fight I would put up and if he would have to kill me when he was done.

"Go away kid," he said and put his key in the door.

I saw his plan of attack and went right along with it. He opened his door and acted as if he were going to get into the car. I turned to walk away just as he had hoped I would. I took three steps and I felt one of his arms wrap around my neck and the other around my waist. I let him pick me up and carry me the three steps back to the car. When he got me to the car I lifted my leg and kicked off the side. We both went flying backward. He landed flat on his back and I landed on top of him. Before he even had a chance to catch his breath I was standing at his feet, looking down at him.

I gave him a moment to stand up then swept his feet out from under him with my right leg. His feet went flying into the air and he landed flat on his back again. He was getting annoyed. He stood up faster this time and I pretended to make a run for the car. He ran after me, grabbed me by the arm, jerked me around and threw me onto the hood. When he dove on top of me I used my arms and my legs and literally threw him head over feet to the blacktop of the parking lot.

I casually rolled over onto my stomach and rested on my elbows as I watched him get up and come for me again. This time when he went to dive on top of me, I moved, so he landed on the hood of his car, putting dents in it in the process. I had moved way too quickly for him to keep up and he looked around to find me. I was standing behind him.

"You missed," I grinned.

I was beginning to get almost nauseous as his thoughts and intentions got more and more graphic and even more gruesome. He lunged at me once more and with one solid fist to his jaw, I knocked him to the ground. Blood trickled from his lip. He staggered when he stood up but he came for me again.

"So you like 'em young, huh? Too bad you can't catch me," I teased.

He took a step toward me and I backhanded him across the face. Then another fist to the same jaw and he went down again.

"The next time you decide to pick on a young girl, just remember that someone may be watching you. The local police know who you are now, since your friend Lonnie is on his way to being extradited back to Texas or where ever it is that he's wanted. I hope Texas, because there, their death row is operated on a conveyor belt. Next!" I yelled as I kicked him in the ribs.

"How did you kno…" he began to say.

"I know everything," I interrupted. "And I will be watching. If you so much as look at a girl, I'll be back. And believe me, if I _do_ come back," I leaned down and grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me, "If I do come back, no one will ever find your body. Do you understand?"

He nodded, reluctantly, but he didn't really grasp what I was saying, so I showed him what a scenario might look like if he ever tried to hurt another girl. It wasn't pretty, there was lots of screaming and lots of blood, and they were his, not his victims.

"Do… you… understand?" I asked again, slowly.

"Yes," he nodded, more sure this time.

"Yes what?" I asked.

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

I dropped his chin and as I walked past his car I looked back to make sure he was watching me. He was, so I slammed my fist down so hard on the front fender of his car that the bent metal punctured the tire and the front slowly sank to the ground as the air escaped with an audible rush.

"I'm watching you," I said and disappeared into the shadows.

I went back to the bar to wait on the fourth and final culprit. His cell phone rang and it was the one I had just left.

"Man, somebody knows what we did," he said.

"We didn't do anything," said the one still at the bar. "We were just joking around."

"Yeah, alright."

Click.

One was clearly more dangerous than the other so I decided to head home. It was late and I was tired. I would make sure to check in from time to time just to make sure that he did understand the warning.

I speed through the dark, deserted streets back to the highway and sped home. I backed the Mercedes into the garage, cleaned the spattered bug guts from the windshield and grill then put the cover back over it. I walked into the house, dropped my keys on the bar and fell onto the couch. I slept there.

Edward was waiting outside Bella's house the next morning when she left for school and she rode with him. I couldn't have been happier. At least they were spending time together. Rosalie on the other hand was far from happy. I tried to think of ways to convince Rose that Bella was meant to be Edward, but how do convince someone like Rose of anything, let alone something that she really doesn't want to hear?

Edward and Bell arrived at school shortly after I did. Jessica brought Bella's jacket and her mind was a blur of questions or Bella. _Did she kiss him? Are they going out again? Is he as amazing as he looks?_ She had already planned on bombarding Bella as soon as she saw her, but Edward was with her. She would have to wait until Trig.

Edward and Bella sat alone at lunch again and I listened absently at their conversation. And there it was again, she thinks she likes him more than he likes her. Sheesh! When are they ever going to realize that they're completely in love with each other? And there was no way that either one could like the other anymore. It just wasn't possible. I could see so clearly that they were meant to be together. Alice could see it too, and even had proof, but Edward refused to believe it. This was just going to be one long, annoying waiting game to see which one would cave first and admit how he or she felt. Arrggg! They were both just so stubborn. This was so frustrating but I couldn't interfere. Fate would seal the deal, I just had to be patient.

It was movie day in Biology and I could literally feel the electricity between Edward and Bella when the lights went out. She wanted him to touch her. He wanted to touch her but thought better of it, he would only want more.

I don't even know what was playing. I was too lost in my own thoughts to pay attention. I was still trying to figure out Rosalie and how to make her leave Bella alone. Rose wasn't one to be reasoned with. Once her mind was set, that was it. She had already thought too much about me as it was. Ever since Emmett had spoken to me, her thoughts often drifted in my direction and I really didn't like that. She was already seeing the subtle differences in me as opposed to normal humans. I did have a slightly different scent, but I had a heartbeat and blue eyes so that ruled out the vampire angle, at least for the time being.

After school I went straight home. Emmett was already there, waiting for me. I drove the yellow Charger into the garage and motioned Emmett to come inside when I stepped out.

"Hi Emmett, come on in," I said cheerfully as I opened the door into the kitchen. "How'd you get here so fast?" I asked inquisitively. I was actually just wondering if he would answer truthfully.

"I ran," he said matter-of-factly and smiled.

I laughed. I knew I wasn't supposed to believe him, but ironically I knew it was the truth. "Right," I grinned, pretending to go along with the joke.

He followed me into the office where I dropped my book bag and pulled out a chair for him to sit in. He sat without any prompt from me. I sat.

"So," I began. "What exactly is it that you would like for me to paint for you Mr. Cullen?" I mocked a professional tone, but couldn't keep a straight face.

"Well, I want you to paint two for me actually. One as a gift for my mother, a portrait of my family. And the other, a portrait of my wi… girlfriend."

"No problem," I said. I stood up and walked across the room to the canvases I had bought. I lifted a large, thirty six by sixty inch canvas from against the wall. I placed the canvas on the easel that stood beside Emmett. I had prepped the canvas for painting the night before so I could begin the paintings today while Emmett was here.

I picked up a pencil and began to lightly sketch the Cullen family onto the canvas. I started in the center with Carlisle. I sketched his face looking straight ahead and angled his shoulders forward slightly. Over his left shoulder I drew in Esme, her hand on Carlisle's shoulder.

Emmett stood and walked around me. He didn't speak, just watched as I sketched onto the canvas.

Over Carlisle's right shoulder, I sketched in Edward. Directly behind Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper. To Esme's left, Rosalie. To Edward's right, Alice.

I looked at Emmett then to the canvas and shrugged my shoulders. "Like so?" I questioned.

"Exactly like so," he said. "Impressive. That's exactly how I had pictured it."

"Eh, there's only so much you can do with a family portrait," I smiled.

I replaced the canvas with a blank one.

"And the second? Explain to me what you had in mind for this one. It is of Rosalie, I presume."

"Yes. I was thinking something," he thought for a moment, "old fashioned. Something late 18th century, early 19th century. Victorian. Like the portraits you see hanging on the wall up the staircase in old movies. Does that make any sense?"

I acted like I was thinking for a long moment. Then put the pencil to the canvas. I drew in long fluid strokes. The back of the chair, then the table. Then I drew in Rosalie's image. The roses on the table, the lace and ruffles of the dress, her hair, long and flowing over her shoulders.

I stepped back and allowed Emmett to take a look.

"Exactly!" he almost laughed. "How do you do that?"

"It's a gift," I grinned, returning the joke that he wouldn't get. "So there are only _two_ that you would like done?"

His face lit up. _Let's see how good you really are,_ he thought. "Well, there is actually a third that I had in mind, but wasn't quite sure if you'd do it."

"Why wouldn't I do it?" I asked, smiling inwardly. It was actually a very beautiful image he had come up with.

"Because it's a nude of my girlfriend," he said, almost shyly. Almost.

"So? Why would that be a problem?"

"I don't know how you feel about painting nude portraits," he replied honestly.

"I've done live sittings of nudes, it doesn't bother me all. What did you have in mind? It is tasteful? Isn't it?"

"Yes," he assured me.

"OK, what did you have in mind?"

I replaced the canvas with yet another blank one. He began to explain the image to me as I sketched. I didn't let him watch me this time. I didn't want to be drawing something in before he had described it. Might raise a few questions. Questions I did _not_ want to answer.

When he had finished his detailed description I continued drawing in details. I took a step back, looked the sketch over, added a few flowers here and there, made the silk ribbon a little wider so it covered just the parts in the just the right places and then took two steps back. I motioned for Emmett to take a look.

An audible gasp escaped his lips when he walked around the canvas. He looked at me, mouth agape, eyes wide. He looked around the room as if looking for something.

"What are you looking for?" I laughed.

"A mind reading machine."

"Oh really? I went to order one the other day, but they're currently on backorder," I chuckled at my joke and so did he. "I take it that the sketch is a reasonable representation?"

"Reasonable? That's an understatement!" he said staring at the rough sketch. "It's perfect." He looked at me. "How long will it take to paint all of them?"

"When do you need them?"

"As soon as they're complete. The sooner the better."

"It will take at least three weeks, depending on homework load and other variable factors."

"Can I stop by to see the progress?" he asked.

"Of course," I told him.

"Awesome. He took a wad of money from his pocket and dropped it on the desk beside the computer. Half now, half when they are finished. If that isn't enough, just name your price."

"Thank you, but I'm sure that will be plenty. Give me a few days to get started and then you can stop by anytime," I said. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Nope. I can't wait to see their faces when I give them to them," he said almost under his breath.

"I'll see you in a few days then."

I walked him to the door, shook his cold hand and thanked him. I didn't ask where his car was.

I went back to the easel and replaced the nude sketch of Rosalie with the one of the Cullen family. I know that this one would take the longest to paint. One, it was the largest and two, there were seven faces to paint and that would require time. I began immediately and painted until way after dark. Since I didn't sleep very well anyway, I would work on the paintings until I just couldn't stay awake anymore.

Edward picked Bella up for school again the next morning. I muddled through my classes, only half paying attention to anything until I was face to face with a few sophomore punks thinking they'd pick on a little junior. Wrong. I may be little but I do not tolerate bullies. Chris Akers, Jamie Smith and Jessie Adams stood around me and made fun of me as I was trying to leave art class. It was my last class and I had stayed a few minutes past the bell to finish the picture I had started. It was a drawing of one of the views I remembered from Las Vegas when I had been there in the early nineties. It was like someone put this city of lights down in a bowl in the middle of the dessert. Mountains surrounded everything. They always looked so close, but they weren't. Like Mt. Rainer from Seattle. The mountains are just so big, they look a lot closer than they really are. The drawing was just a sketch of the Vegas strip with the mountainous backdrop. It wasn't much, but I had to draw something that was relatively recent. I didn't want to have to explain something from like, 1950.

The boys stopped me just outside the classroom.

"Aw, look. It's the Cullen reject," Jessie smirked.

"Almost Rosalie, but way too short to make the cut," Mike laughed.

"Is there a point to this?" I asked as I tried to walk around them.

They were easily two and three times my size. Jessie especially. He could've made a pro wrestler look small. I searched through their thoughts to get an idea of what they really intended to do. Chris was just tagging along for the heck of it. Jessie and Jamie were trying to make trouble. I took a deep breath and tried to think of a way to deal with this without breaking bones or drawing blood. I didn't like being in this situation, especially at school.

"OK, what do you want?" I asked in an irritated tone.

"Aww, is the little girl getting upset?" Jessie poked.

"Upset? No." I smirked. "Annoyed? Yes. Now would you please move so I can go home?"

"What if we don't want to?" Jessie said and put his hand on my chest to push me back.

Before he had time to push me, I had grabbed his hand flipped it over and was now pushing the back of his hand toward his wrist. I could so easily break it right now, but I kept my strength in check.

"Ouch, how did you do that so fast?" Jessie whined. "That hurts."

"That's the point," I said smugly. "Are you going to move now?"

I saw that James was planning his attack and I swung Jessie around and grabbed him by the back of the neck and positioned him between James and me. Jessie staggered for a moment to catch up with the movements then realized he was facing James and not me.

"Whoa," he said. "How did you…"

"Martial arts," I said before he finished. "I'm a seventh degree black belt in the ancient art of Hi Jitz We," I lied. I just said the first thing that came to mind. Well, second, the first thing was Hi Ding Yu. As in where to hide the bodies. But I could never kill anyone, though there had been a couple close calls when my temper had nearly gotten the best of someone. "Are you finished playing? Or is there going have to be broken bones?" I said as I pulled Jessie arm behind his back and pushed his hand up near his shoulder blade. "I may be little, but I got wicked skills," I joked. They didn't think it was funny.

"Are you really a black belt?" Chris asked.

"Yeah. Something like that," I smiled and let Jessie's arm go. "Are we done?"

"For now," James mumbled.

Before he had time to even blink, I had my hand wrapped around his neck. "No, forever," I confirmed. "Got it?"

When he couldn't hold his breath any longer, he nodded and I let go. His thoughts were already on revenge so I showed him what could possibly happen if he ever tried to lay a hand on me again. His eyes got wide as the graphic images flashed through his head. Then he gave me the most horrified look. I smiled, patted his shoulder and walked down the hall.

I would cower to no one. I was after all, half vampire. There was no human on the planet that scared me. I would even stand up to a vampire if I had to, although I would probably end up losing that fight, I still wouldn't go down without trying. And I just hated bullies. Especially young human boys, they always thought they were so tough.

Edward had already taken Bella home and they were sitting in his car as Jacob and Billy pulled up. There was definitely some bad blood there. No pun intended. At least tribal laws forbid Billy from telling Charlie any of the vampire stories. That would lead into a much deeper discussion, like where _he_ had spent _his_ nights in his younger years.

_Just another obstacle in the Edward/Bella love story_, I thought.

I worked on the paintings when I finally got home. Instead of a radio or television in the background, I listened to Edward and Bella. She knew what he was and she didn't care. Rosalie knew that she knew and was absolutely furious. She had every intention of destroying Edward's Vanquish just out of spite. But Edward had told Bella nothing. She had figured it out on her own, not that Edward's miraculously saving her, twice, hadn't helped.

I wish that there was something I could do to convince Rose that Bella wasn't a threat to her or her family, but Rosalie wasn't one to listen to reason once her mind was set and it didn't take much to figure that out. Edward loved Bella and that's all it took for Rose to hate her. Edward had fought with Rose, Emmett and Jasper over Bella. It was a serious argument and it nearly came to blows but Carlisle had sided with Edward. Emmett and Jasper began to understand Edward's side with some coaxing from Carlisle, but there was no reasoning with Rosalie, at least that's what I thought.

Saturday I worked on the paintings and Edward took Bella to the meadow where he would usually go to be alone and away from all the chattering of everyone's thoughts. I watched, on occasion, what was going on and it turned out to be a very productive getaway for the two of them. They had all but confessed their love for each other and he had even kissed her, well, he tried to kiss her and she attacked him, was more like it. But all in all, it was a good day. No one could've been more happy for them than me, although I still wasn't sure why.

I figured I had better start paying more attention to my own life than to theirs before Scott or Julie began to notice the distance. I knew there had to be a reason why I was so drawn to Bella, but for the life of me I had no idea why. Other than the fact that she was _going_ to be a vampire someday, she was just another human. But I just couldn't get Edward and Bella out of my head. Even Rosalie seemed to be on my mind a lot. I wasn't psychic nor did I have visions but there was definitely _something_ about the Cullen family and Bella Swan. I had to make myself concentrate on my life but I always ended up thinking about Edward and Bella.

He was with her now, alone in her room as Charlie sat, oblivious downstairs watching television. I was right, Edward would never hurt Bella. Not before, and now, not ever. They were together and feeling what they were feeling made me long for the love I had lost decades ago. But Daniel was gone, I had to stop thinking about him, but I missed him so much. Scott was a suitable replacement, but he still wasn't Danny.

I painted until I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer, then fell asleep on the couch. I dreamed about the farm in Tennessee and the warm summer nights swimming in the pond and riding the horses bareback through the moonlit forest.


	6. Chapter 6: Dangerous Encounters

**Dangerous Encounters**

I woke up cranky and sad, missing the past that I so desperately needed to get over. I was surfing the internet looking for nothing in particular when I heard a knock on the door. I closed the browser window and a few pop ups that had escaped my view.

I opened the door and Rosalie Hale was standing there, glaring at me. She stormed past me, nearly taking off my shoulder. _Shit_. I closed the door slowly. _Too bad they don't have to be invited in. _

"What do you want Rosalie?" I asked calmly.

_I want to rip your throat out, human._ "I want to know why Emmett is coming here everyday after school." _And lying to me about it._

"He's _not_ coming here _everyday_, and it doesn't concern you." I spoke in a calm cool tone.

"It does concern me," she countered.

"No, actually it doesn't, Rosalie. Emmett asked for my help, and I'm helping him. End of story."

"What are you helping him with?"

"If he had wanted you to know, he would've told you himself, don't you think?"

She was getting very irritated with my refusal to answer her question. "Why is he coming here?" she asked again.

"If it makes you feel any better, it has nothing to do with _me_. And if you would stop for one second and look at something, besides a mirror, you might see that Emmett loves you far too much to ever see anyone else. You are the _only_ one that he sees. It's your face he sees when he closes his eyes. It's your voice he hears when everything else is silent. If you would stop to look at Emmett, you would see that, and you surely wouldn't be wasting my time arguing about it."

That pissed her off. In the blink of eyes she was an inch from my face. Her cold breath poured across my cheek and down my neck. I desperately fought to control myself and my temper.

"You have no idea what I can do to you," she purred.

"And _you_ have no idea what you're up against," I said in a low tone from the back of my throat. "I will not back down from you Rose," I paused, "no matter _what_ you are."

"You should be very, very afraid of me, you know."

"I didn't say I wasn't afraid of you. I just said I wouldn't back down." My voice was still calm, but her proximity to me was beginning to unnerve me. The only time I had been this close to a vampire for this long was when one had nearly had me for dinner. "Back off Rose. I am no threat to you."

I concluded from her thoughts that no human had _ever_ stood up to her, and she didn't like it, at all.

Almost before I knew what happened she had grabbed a handful of hair on the back of my head, pulled my head back to expose my throat, pressed her sharp teeth against my skin and slid them across the surface just enough to draw blood.

That was just way too much to take.

I pushed her back against the wall and held her by the shoulders for one brief moment then leaped backwards across the room, landing on the balls of my feet. I crouched in front of her. My burning eyes stared at the floor, not wanting to meet her gaze.

"You don't want to do this Rose," I said through clinched teeth. I wiped the small bit of blood from my neck. The cut was already healing. "I don't want to fight you Rosalie."

She sprang from the wall toward me. One hand grabbed my shoulder and the other, another handful of hair. I could feel her breath on my neck again. I didn't fight her. She was only acting on instinct now and if I fought, she would certainly hurt me if not kill me.

"Stop this, Rosalie!" I growled. I looked into her eyes and her eyes widened as she held my neck exposed. A growl escaped my lips when I felt her teeth on my neck again. I jerked my head around and caught her wrist between my teeth. I sank my teeth into her stone flesh. The sound was like metal against metal and it sent chills down my spine. I didn't take a bite out of her arm even though I could have. I just bit into her and released her. I just wanted to let her know that I was not what she thought I was. I was not human.

A gasp escaped her lips and she jerked her arm away from me. I didn't know if it was from the pain or because she finally saw me. She let me go, took two steps back and hissed reflexively. She looked into my eyes now and by her expression and the burn, I could tell that they were very, very red. She looked at her arm then back to me. She was perplexed and her face showed it. She stood, frozen, staring at me. She wasn't going to attack again. I searched her thoughts briefly and there was actually a hint of fear there. She was trying to figure out what I was. But she could clearly hear my heartbeat and she had already drawn blood, so she knew that I couldn't be a vampire but she never considered me being a hybrid.

"Emmett is not here for me, Rosalie, I promise you that. And if you would just believe in him, he will prove it to you."

She didn't speak. Her thoughts were still full of rage. I saw her picture the aftermath of killing me but she also saw me fighting back. If she were to be hurt, she would have a lot of explaining to do. Even I knew that only a vampire could penetrate vampire skin. But she knew I wasn't a vampire and I had already bit her. She still wanted to rip me apart but wasn't quite sure now if she'd be able to do that so easily. She wasn't so lethal when she wasn't up against a defenseless human.

I finally gave up. This had gone far enough. I walked into the office and took the painting of her off of the easel. I held it up in front of me as I walked out of the office.

"_This_ is why he is here. Are you happy now?" I said, just as vehemently as I possibly could.

Her jaw dropped. "Oh my…" she began to speak then trailed off. She flashed me the strangest look. Her mind was a flutter of emotion and apology. "I… I didn't know."

"And you didn't bother to ask him either, did you?" I said in a harsh tone.

"I'm sorry. I…" she said and I cut her off.

"No you're not Rosalie, you don't trust anything you can't _see_. And now I hope you have a wonderfully fun time explaining to Emmett that you already know about his big surprise. That you trusted him so much, you had to come here. If you want, you can go ahead and tell Esme about hers too." I motioned to the far wall at the painting of the Cullen family. "Emmett was _so_ proud of himself. He thought he had finally come up with a gift for you that you would never expect."

Much to my surprise, her thoughts turned toward Emmett. She tried to think of a way to be surprised when he gave her the painting.

I thought about the day Edward had saved Bella from Tyler's van and how Rosalie wanted to kill Bella to keep from being exposed.

"Didn't you want to kill Isabella Swan the day Edward saved her life? Only to keep from having to move away from Forks? So she wouldn't risk your exposure? But here you are, risking everything for nothing more than jealousy, once again."

"How did…?" she asked. She looked ashamed, then confused then irritated. "One human is easy to discredit," she barked after she regained her composure.

"But then why _kill_ Bella? She's only one human," I countered. "And I know a lot more than you think I do, vampire," I spat. "Jealousy was your reason for wanting to kill Bella, still is."

"Bella was too close," she snapped. _Edward fell for a human. A plain human girl. _Her thoughts clarified some of my suspicions. She _was_ jealous of Bella._ What difference does it make?_

"Bella wasn't the one you needed to worry about?" I mumbled. "Did you stop to think of how many other humans saw Edward miraculously sweep Bella out of the way? Of how many saw him holding the van up with one hand while he moved her legs out the way with his other?" I retorted.

"What do you care?" she hissed. "No one saw anything. Bella could still talk though."

"Stay away from Bella," I snarled back at her.

"And if I don't?" she asked.

"Ask Edward that question," I sneered, glaring at her.

She growled. She knew she couldn't argue with that.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Forget it." I paused for a moment to clear my head. "Do you think you can completely forget everything that happened today?" I asked her. "And I mean _everything_."

"Why?" she asked full of skepticism.

"If you promise to keep everything you saw here today a secret, I will promise that you will be surprised when you see the painting."

"How?" she hesitated.

"Will you just trust me?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"What are you?" she asked out of the blue.

I wasn't sure if she was trying to change the subject or if that was part of a condition she had. Her thoughts were a blur of me and of a dozen other images that I couldn't make out.

I hesitated, not knowing what to say or if I even wanted to answer.

She sensed my reluctance. "I will keep your secret." _You apparently have as much to lose as I do if anyone finds out. And if they find out about you, then they'll find out about me. And we just can't have that. I'm not moving yet._

I smiled, well it was more like a smirk. "Smart girl." She was right. My exposure would mean her exposure and that was the last thing she wanted.

"What about Edward, knowing?" I asked, concerned about his little talent.

"Edward usually stays out," she answered without hesitation. "Now, what are you and how am I going to be surprised to see a painting I have already seen."

"Well I guess that means you don't trust me."

"I don't know what to think of you, Lily," she said honestly.

There was a moment of silence as she stared at me. Her expression calmed and the crease between her eyebrows smoothed.

"I don't know what I am, Rose" I returned the honesty. "And I had really rather not talk about it. For all practical purposes, I am human. No one needs to know any different. I am no threat to anyone, especially not you."

"Then why are you here?" she asked.

"Why are _you_ here?" I countered.

She tilted her head to the side and looked me up and down. She wanted to argue but knew it was probably pointless.

"OK," she said, "I'll keep your secret."

"Promise me."

"You have my word," she assured me. There was a short pause, "but how are…"

"Just trust me, OK. Emmett will never know you were here as long as you keep your part of the deal."

Rosalie walked toward the door. She stopped and turned as she walked out the door. "I _am_ sorry," she said sternly. "I should've spoken to Emmett before coming here."

"Or you could've just trusted him… He loves you, Rose," I said to her candidly. "You are the only one he could ever love."

She nodded once and closed the door behind her. She was still irritated, but she was even more curious as to what I was. I intrigued her. She wanted to know more, but she would never ask. I knew she wouldn't say anything to anyone, she had a lot more to lose than I did. It wasn't a problem for me to leave, I just had to get in the car and go. She had a family to consider and she hated even more than I did having to move all the time. I had all but gotten used to it. But Edward and Bella were here and so that meant that this is where I wanted to be. One day I would understand why.


	7. Chapter 7: Hurry Up and Wait

**Hurry Up and Wait**

When Rosalie was gone, I sat down on the couch to calm down. I was very, very proud of myself. I had effectively suppressed the vampire even though I had been terrified. I knew I didn't want to hurt Rosalie even though I was sure I could have. Not fatally, but I could've done some serious damage had I let the vampire instincts take over. I was still shaking but I was calming down and my eyes were beginning to cool.

I was very concerned about Rosalie. She was part of the big picture, she had to be, she was a Cullen, but she was very untrusting and very adamant about her dislike of Bella. And _that_, was a problem. Edward and Bella were finally together and I couldn't let Rosalie do something irrational to force Edward into doing something he might regret, like hurting Rose. That would hurt Edward even though he wouldn't hesitate in killing Rosalie if she attacked his only love.

I concentrated on Rosalie's thoughts and tried to understand her rational. I tried to understand why she hated Bella so much when Bella had never done anything to her directly. She was jealous that Edward had fallen in love with her, a human, but Rosalie had Emmett, and she loved him as much as he loved her. As I followed Rose's thoughts about the encounter she just had with me, I saw something that I was really not expecting, myself in her arms, at least it looked like me. I gasped to myself, my eyes wide in disbelief. Rosalie wanted a child and that's why she hated Bella, because Bella was choosing this life, she was choosing to sacrifice everything human to be with Edward. The ability to have children was the one thing that Rosalie had wanted more than anything else. She wanted that chance, she had wanted the choice but Carlisle had changed her saving her life. I couldn't believe that Rosalie was actually angry that Carlisle had saved her. Then my mind snapped back to the image of me in her head.

The image was tender, the gentle caress of a mother's touch on my face as she held me next to her. Her daughter in her arms. Maybe it wasn't me, maybe it was just her image of what her daughter may look like. It gave me a new appreciation of Rosalie. She was not entirely the selfish narcissistic vampire I thought she was. She had her reasons for being the way she was, although I don't entirely agree with her reasoning. Carlisle saved her life, gave her a second chance, but she was so set in her ways, so convinced that her only reason for being was to have children, she resented being saved. I couldn't completely understand her logic but at least now I knew why she felt the way she did about Bella.

Rose wasn't at the Cullen house when Edward introduced Bella to his family yesterday. That may not have been a bad idea. But today they were playing baseball and Rose would certainly be there. I didn't want to interfere, but could I keep from it? Rosalie knew that others had known about Edward's miraculous saving of Bella. Albeit they had been discredited and convinced otherwise but the fact remained, Rose knew I had interfered already. Would she keep her word and keep it to herself? She had to, she had just as much to lose as I did, more even.

I took a deep breath and leaned my head back onto the back of the couch. I ran my fingers slowly through my hair and exhaled slowly. I had to trust a vampire to keep my secret. Would she? I had to hope so.

I heard footsteps outside then the handle on the door from the garage turned.

"Lily?" Scott called as he looked around the kitchen then into the living room. "Hey!" he smiled then his eyebrows creased and he walked closer. "Are you OK? You look worried," he said.

"No, I'm fine," I lied.

He looked around the room and instantly found the damaged drywall. "What happened, Lily? Did someone hurt you?" he asked.

"No," I laughed lightly and dropped my head like I was embarrassed, "I was goofing off in my socked feet and slid into the wall. I was going pretty fast, obviously."

He looked at me questioning for a moment then thought about where we were. _Pft!_ _Who would ever break into a house in Forks?_ he thought. Then he laughed, "Lily" he smiled, "Only you could do such a thing."

I grinned sheepishly, "Oh, well. You know me," I said.

"Would you like me to fix the damage?" he said.

"Um, nah, I'll fix it. I did it after all."

He laughed and shook his head. "Are you sure you're OK?"

"Oh, I'm fine,' I said and I willed myself to believe that. I hopped up and walked toward the office. "Want to see the progress on the paintings?"

"Sure, have you started the nude of Rosalie yet?"

"Uh, no," I smiled, "not that you'll ever see it when I do. You're lucky to have seen the sketch. If you ever tell anyone you ever saw that, I swear I will never talk to you again."

"Our secret," he said and wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed my neck and whispered, "You're prettier than her anyways."

"Yeah, right," I smirked.

"You are. There is so much more depth behind these blue eyes than she'll ever have. She's conceited and egoti…"

"Hey, you said you didn't know Rosalie Hale. So how would you know what she's like?" I countered. "Just because she's beautiful, doesn't mean that she doesn't feel."

He pushed my shoulders away and looked at me critically. "Since when do you defend Rosalie?" he asked.

"I'm not defending her," I confirmed, "but we at least owe her the benefit of the doubt. There may be a lot more behind those eyes of hers." I said, not really wanting to believe my own words.

I grinned to myself as I saw Edwards thoughts. He was kissing down Bella's neck trying to make her forget about the run back to the truck yesterday. They had to run the rest of the way to where they played baseball and she didn't want to run again. I dropped my head and pretended to scratch my eyebrow as I watched from his mind's eye. He was definitely winning.

"_Would I let a tree hurt you?"_ he asked her, his lips hovering over the edge of hers, so close she could taste his cool breath as he spoke.

"_No," _she breathed defenselessly.

I smiled when she attacked him again and he pulled away quickly.

"_Dammit Bella, you're going to be the death of me, I swear you will,"_ he said as she tried to catch her breath.

"_But you're indestructible,"_ she mumbled.

I nearly gasped as I saw his next thought. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him. I walked to the bathroom, always the perfect excuse. I watched his thoughts intently, and how he would restrain himself when he was finally with her. He was picturing himself taking her right there; tearing away her clothes quickly but gently as not to hurt her…then his clothes were off in an instant. He lifted her onto the hood of the Jeep, her legs wrapped around him, her arms clinging to his neck, the heat of her bare skin against his cold torso…

_OK, Lily, deep breaths,_ I thought to myself and sat down on the side of the bathtub as I continued to watch the images in Edward's head.

I knew he wanted her, but I didn't know just how much. His restraint was extraordinary. He kissed her neck and her breath came fast and heavy in his ear as he pulled her hips to meet…

"Lily? Are you sure you're alright?" Scott called from the living room.

"I… I'm fine," my voice cracked and I cleared my throat. "Nature called." I chuckled to myself at the joke.

I looked in the mirror to check my appearance. I ran my fingers through my hair and straightened my shirt. I took a slow, deep breath and flushed the toilet to make it sound convincing.

Edward and Bella were at the baseball clearing. Rosalie sauntered off in the opposite direction as they approached. Esme and Emmett greeted them warmly.

"See," I said as I walked back to where Scott was still standing. "I'm fine."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him gently. We sat down on the couch and I started telling him about me goofing off earlier and sliding into the wall, leaving the obvious dents in the drywall.

Then I froze, staring off into a reality that Edward was seeing from Alice.

"Scott, I need to go," I said suddenly, jumping to my feet.

"What?" he said.

"I'll explain later," I said and grabbed the keys off of the counter and ran out the door and into the garage.

I sped across town and parked the car about fifty yards into the forest on a hiking trail. I broke into a full run toward the baseball field. Alice had seen visitors coming and their visit was not a good one. Bella was in danger and I couldn't, no, I _wouldn't_ sit back and watch something happen to her. I knew that Edward and his family would protect her but I could try to throw the visitors off of their trail, give them a head-start at getting Bella out of here. I had seen enough in Alice's vision to know that they, well one of them, was going after Bella.

I ran through the forest, keeping track of Edwards thoughts as I ran. He could see the thrill of the hunt in James mind. The game was on and Bella was the prey.

Edward, Bella, Alice and Emmett were headed south in the Jeep and Bella was trying to convince them to take her home, back to Charlie. I listened to the plan and it sounded logical. Bella would go back and tell Charlie that she was leaving, going back to Phoenix. That would keep any suspicion off of the Cullens and hopefully keep James away from Charlie. The plan was to lead James on a wild goose chase while Alice and Jasper took Bella to Phoenix to wait until James could be snuffed out.

I ran through the forest crisscrossing it with my human scent. Maybe it would distract James enough to give the others more of an advantage. Edward would make sure that Bella would be safe and Emmett and Carlisle would do what they could to protect Edward's only love.

Bella was crying and I ran faster.

"_Fifteen minutes,"_ Edward told Bella on her front porch.

"_I love you,"_ she told him.

Bella ran through the house gathering her things. As she made her way toward the door Charlie stopped her. She threw the most hurtful words she could have at him. The same words her mother had used on him when she left. It killed Bella to do it, but she had to convince him that she was leaving Forks. James had to believe it just as much as Charlie.

I was running through the forest, touching every tree, fern, and fallen log that I could. Luckily Edward had been able to read his mind, which meant that I didn't have to actually have contact with James in order to do the same.

I wasn't sure what else I could do. There was nothing I could do in Phoenix, Jasper and Alice would make sure Bella was safe until Edward could get there. I couldn't afford to cross paths with Rosalie again. It was going to be hard to enough having to see her at school. I just hoped that Edward would stay out of Rose's head because I was sure my name would come up plenty when she saw me around campus.

I headed back to the car. When I got home it was late but Scott was still there. This was going to be very hard to explain. Did I make up some crazy story or just tell him that it's none of his business. But he would think it _is_ his business since it involves me. _Think, Lily,_ I thought tapping my temple as I backed into the garage. _OK, there was no phone call, no knock on the door or anything like that, so it had to be something I must have forgotten… Something for my father… Um, _I thought. _Pick up… no it's Sunday, didn't bring anything back anyways… Damn! Think Lily! Payment, Yes! I had to go pay… um… the car insurance. It's due tomorrow and I forgot to mail it… to Seattle. Yes!_ I hoped he'd buy it.

I was glad I had forgotten my cell phone, at least I had an excuse for not calling to tell him what was going on. Should've made something up before I left, but it's too late now. Bella was going to be my undoing, I was sure of it. Running out, literally mid sentence to go protect someone who had no idea who I was…and then having to lie about it. Was I crazy? Was Bella worth all of this?

Something inside kept telling me, 'yes'.

Scott was asleep on the couch when I crept in from the garage. I was very tempted not to wake him, but I knew I had a lot of explaining to do. I knew that he was probably going to be mad so I prepared for the worst, I even thought about crying as I apologized but that was a bit much. Besides, I didn't like anyone seeing me cry.

I slowly sat down on the couch beside Scott and rubbed his back gently.

"Scott?" I whispered. "I'm back, I figured you'd be gone by now."

"I wanted to make sure you were alright," he said groggily and rolled over onto his back to look at me. He put his hand on my cheek, "_Are_ you OK?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. I had a blond moment and completely forgot that I was supposed to pay Dad's car insurance. It's due tomorrow and I forgot to mail it, so I had to go to Seattle to drop it off at the office so it wouldn't be late. I forgot it once before and my Dad nearly lost his insurance because of it. He wasn't happy." I said and took a deep breath to refill my lungs and continue but he interrupted.

"OK. OK," he smiled. "You just left so fast… I could've went with you, you know," he said and sat up.

"I know, I thought about that when I was halfway there," I lied yet again. "But it's paid now, my Dad won't kill me," I smiled.

"It's late, you should get some sleep. You're going to be cranky at school tomorrow," he smiled and gently kissed me.

_You have no idea,_ I thought.

"I'm going to go," he said and stood up. "I told my mom I'd be home when I knew you were alright."

"Um, OK," I said. "Thank you for staying."

"I wanted to make sure you were alright. If you weren't home by morning I was going to call the police."

I laughed nervously, "No need now, but thank you."

He nodded, kissed me softly on the lips and left.

I plopped down on the couch and searched for Bella's thoughts. She was asleep in the car with Alice and Jasper on the way to Phoenix. The others were trying to track James and make sure that he was nowhere near Bella. I searched for James' thoughts and at first found nothing, then I saw his game plan. I wondered if it would work.

Edward and Carlisle were hunting James. Rosalie and Esme were in Bella's truck, leading the woman away from the direction Bella had gone.

I fell asleep on the couch, thinking about Bella's safety. She woke about three AM in the hotel. I was going to be useless today. So I decided not to go to school.

I stumbled upstairs and took a quick shower. I sat down on the bed, wrapped in a towel and I listened to Alice explain to Bella how vampires are made. From the venom that vampires have, the venom that I apparently lacked. Then Alice stood quickly. She saw James' plan, but not enough of it. He was going to lure Bella to the mirror room, which meant Edward and Carlisle had not convinced James that Bella was still in Washington. James was on an airplane on his way to Phoenix. I saw that the redheaded woman had found Bella's old address at the school. I knew that he was headed to Phoenix, but he was too far gone for Edward to hear the plan for himself.

Alice was beginning to piece together the plan once Bella recognized the ballet studio. Bella was beginning to piece it together too. And she would sacrifice herself to save those she loved and I knew that she would not hesitate.

Bella dialed her mother's home phone number and left a message. But she didn't know that James would intercept it.

_Edward,_ I thought and I prayed that he would hear me, _James is going to Phoenix. Go to Bella. Go now, Edward._

At that moment the phone rang. It was Carlisle and Edward. They were going to Phoenix.

Three hours later, James called the number that Bella had left on the machine. He convinced Bella that her mother was in Phoenix and that he would hurt her if Bella didn't comply. Bella was going to the ballet studio. James has tricked Bella into sacrificing herself. I couldn't listen anymore. But I couldn't pull my mind away.

_Oh thank God!_ I sighed. Alice saw the outcome of the decision Bella had just made and though it wasn't a perfect outcome, it was acceptable. Bella was going to be alright. It was going to be close, very close, but Edward would get to her in time. She wouldn't be unscathed but she would survive. I could live with that. There was nothing else I could do anyway.

I made myself focus on Edward. He was on the plane thinking about the reunion with his love. He wanted nothing more than to have her in his arms again. Alice had yet to tell him about the events to come. Edward's thoughts were anxious, but he remained calm. Then his phone rang. Alice told him about the visions she had and that Bella was on her way to the mirror room, the ballet studio. Had he been away from people, his control may not have been so controlled. His mind raced. His Bella was in danger and he was stuck on a damned airplane.

When the plane landed he ran as fast as humanly acceptable. Alice and Jasper were waiting when Emmett, Carlisle and Edward got off the plane and they ran through the airport. They ran to the nearest car under overhangs and through shadows, not really caring if they were seen at this point. They piled in the car and Edward drove toward Scottsdale.

I stared off into space as I heard James telling Bella about the only victim that had ever escaped him, Alice. Alice had been taken from an insane asylum for which she had been placed for her visions. A care taker had taken a liking to her and changed her when he had learned that James had wanted her. He had changed Alice to protect her from James. James killed her maker out of vengeance for saving her from him. Then I heard Bella scream.

"Bella!" I yelled and I felt the burn in my eyes and my claws ripped through the mattress.

She was in pain, agonizing pain. I knew this was coming but I could never prepare myself for this. James bit her.

"Edward! Hurry!" I yelled.

I heard screeching tires and Edward was out of the car before it even came to a complete stop. Then he was with her and it took a moment for them to realize that he had bit her.

_Edward, you must remove the venom,_ I thought calmly. _She needs you to remove the venom. _

He pressed his lips to her hand and began to suck out the poison in her blood. It was working. The pain in her hand began to subside. Carlisle had injected her with morphine and Edward tasted it in her blood.

_Stop Edward,_ I thought. _It would kill you if you let yourself slip now._

He lowered Bella's hand. "The blood tastes clean," Edward confirmed.

Edward carried her to the car and they took her to the hospital so Carlisle could set her leg and stitch the mirror inflicted gashes.

I muddled through school the rest of the week. I knew Bella was going to be alright but I hated not being able to hear her thoughts. The medication had put her in a near comatose state. There was very little in the way of rational, coherent brain activity.

On Friday, Bella woke up in a daze and Edward explained that her mother was told that she had fallen down two flights of steps and through a window.

Bella asked why he was here and he explained that he had come down with Carlisle to talk her into coming back to Forks. I laughed out loud as I saw in Edward's thoughts, Alice throw herself down two flights of steps and through a plate glass window. She had to do it again just make sure it was authentic. _Is this the way a human would fall?_ she asked just before she fell forward the first time.

I listen a little while as Edward tried to convince Bella that she didn't want to be a vampire. But she was adamant. She knew that she was destined to be with him, but he refused to cave to her whim. Bella figured out that Alice had already seen her as a vampire, but it didn't deter Edward. They were at an impasse, for the moment, anyway.

"I'm betting on Alice," Bella mumbled in a stupor before she drifted off into another drug induced sleep.

When Edward and Bella returned to Forks, I could finally relax a little. I watched her like an overprotective stalker at school, but always staying on the outer fringes, so Edward wouldn't get suspicious.

I had patched everything up with Scott and he was excited beyond belief the afternoon he asked me to the prom. After everything I had put him through, I couldn't say no, even though I really didn't want to go. Not that I didn't want to go with him, I just didn't like to attend functions like the prom. It was Forks, though. I figured an encounter with rogue vampires would probably be short lived thanks to the five vampires in attendance at that particular dance.

The night of the prom was very uncomfortable for me. I wore a black satin, strapless dress that came just below my knees. I wore black lace gloves, past the elbow, black hose with a black seam down the back and a satin bow on the back of my ankle, and with black stilettos. My hair was up with curled blond wisps falling around my face. It wasn't the typical prom dress and that was the point, I had to wear something that I knew Rosalie wouldn't.

I knew that I would be compared to her and I had to wear something that wouldn't look like I was competing with her. There was no competing with the perfect beauty of Rosalie. I watched her as Emmett twirled her around the makeshift dance floor of the high school gym. She was absolutely breathtaking. Her red backless dress, skin tight to the knees, rippled and flexed with every twirl. She caught me staring but I didn't look away. She glowered at me for a moment then her eyes grew softer. She bowed her head almost inperceptively at me.

Her thoughts were mostly on herself. She was being stared at, nearly worshiped by the boys and young girls crowding the edge of the dance floor and she loved it. They were nothing more than mere sheep to her, but me, she still wasn't sure about me. When our eyes met, she remembered the encounter and how I had stood up to her, and how I had been able to penetrate the steely exterior of her vampire skin with my teeth. She had often wondered if I had been capable of hurting her, and why I didn't if I had been. She had been in my house, and I would've had every right to defend myself, but I had only given her a warning bite. She hadn't seen the claws, but she had seen the red glow of my eyes. _Very vampire_, she thought, _but with a heartbeat_. _What are you Lily Honeycutt?_

Edward and Bella were beautiful together, as it was supposed to be. They were together and now she had to convince him that she was meant to be with him forever. Alice had already seen it. I was sure of it. But Edward was having no part of it. Bella loved him and would love him for eternity. I just hoped, as he pressed his lips to her throat that he would be the one to change her.

But not tonight.


	8. Chapter 8: Betrayals

**Betrayals**

Emmett and Rosalie graduated from Forks High School and they left shortly thereafter. I figured they were vacationing in some inconspicuous place. _The North Pole or the tip of Everest, or hanging out in the Mid Atlantic Trench,_ I laughed to myself. The summer was greatly uneventful for me. Edward and Bella had a wonderful summer. They spent a lot of time at the meadow during the day and he spent every night with her. Charlie didn't have a clue, of course.

School started and Emmett and Rosalie still had not returned to Forks. Bella had started a part job at the local sporting goods store, in spite of Edward's objections.

Scott and I were still dating and he spent a lot of time at my house. He was beginning to question whether or not my father would ever come home. There wasn't much I could do about that. It wasn't like I could ask someone to pretend to be my father for the sake of my boyfriend. I didn't worry about it. It wasn't something that overly concerned me.

The weeks passed and before long it was Bella's birthday. I had almost wished her a happy birthday when I saw her at school. I had gotten much better at staying out of their lives. Edward and Bella were together and that's all I needed to know. I would eavesdrop on occasion to monitor their progress, well, _her_ progress on convincing him to change her into a vampire. He still refused.

Emmett and Rosalie were back because Emmett wanted to be here for Bella's birthday. Rosalie wasn't thrilled, but she was here for his sake.

When I got home from school, I froze just inside the door. _Vampire,_ I thought. It was dark inside the house. All of the blinds had been closed and the curtains were drawn.

"Easy Lily, it's only me," Rosalie's voice chimed from the living room.

"Rose…? What are you doing here?" I asked as I slowly walked into the next room.

I could feel the hair standing up on the back of my neck, and I consciously fought to suppress the vampire. She apparently had forgotten that I reacted badly to surprise visits from venomous predators wishing to rip my eyes out.

I walked into the living room cautiously, my hands balled into tight fists. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her, especially when I had no idea why she was here. Besides, if she had wanted to hurt _me_, she would've done it by now.

"Not real fond of vampires, are you?" she asked casually.

"What gave it away?" I asked and she looked down at my white knuckled fists.

"It's rather obvious," she smiled.

She sat in the shadows of my living room, her gleaming white teeth sparkled when she smiled and a pang of jealously momentarily flashed across my mind. _No one should be allowed to be that beautiful,_ I thought. She seemed oddly out of place sitting on my plain, generic couch. Her gray slacks and white blouse probably cost more than all of the furniture in this living room.

My eyes darted around the room looking to see any evidence that Scott had been here today. He wasn't supposed to be here, but my luck, today would the day that he decided to surprise me.

"There's no one else here," she said then crossed her legs and leaned back as if she were getting comfortable.

I flipped the switch on the wall and the lamp on the table beside her came on. She stared at me and I stared back, waiting for any tiny shift in her eyes, any indication that she may be preparing to pounce, but her thoughts were very calm, almost too calm considering the last time she was here. She was thinking about that encounter too and didn't wish to repeat it. She remembered me at the prom, in my black dress and high heels with Scott in his black tux. She thought we had looked good together. Then she remembered the blood red eyes and feral growl that had come from what she mistakenly thought was a mere human. She was well aware that I knew what _she_ was. She still wasn't sure of me, but there was no fear. There was actually a hint of respect in her thoughts. The fact that I had stood up to her is what truly made her question what I was. She thought I must have known I could take her for me to have even dared confront her the way I did.

"Why are you here, Rosalie?" I asked.

"Sit down," she said, gesturing toward the love seat perpendicular to the couch.

"I'll stand," I said crossing my arms.

She smiled and leaned forward, resting her elbow on her knee and placed her finger on her chin. "If I wanted to hurt you, I would've done it by now," she said.

"Yes, I realize that," I nodded, "but it still doesn't answer my question. Why are you here?"

"Lily, please," she said, gesturing again to the love seat, "sit down."

I took a quick breath and plopped down on the arm of the love seat, "Will this do?" I asked.

"What are you so afraid of?" she smirked and leaned back again.

"Well, let's see, if I recall correctly, the last time you were here you wanted to kill me. Isn't that correct?" I answered smugly.

She smiled, defeated. "Which brings us to why I'm here, I guess," she sighed. "I'm here to say thank you and to apologize once again for my behavior that day."

I didn't speak; I just continued staring at her.

"Emmett gave me the first painting, the one I had already seen, and I pretended to be surprised. But I was irritated somewhat because you had promised I would be surprised when I saw it. I wasn't… But then he gave me second painting." A beautiful, almost shy smile lit up her already breathtaking features. "It was beyond words," she said quietly.

I smirked, and let my arms relax into my lap. I had never shown her the second painting, the nude, which is how I was able to promise that she would be surprised when Emmett gave her the gifts.

"I was very pleasantly surprised. You have an extraordinary gift child," she said and I scoffed at the term. "What?" she asked. "How _old are _you?"

"Not much younger than you," I answered quickly.

"Then what?" she laughed, "Fifteen? Sixteen?"

"I was born eight years before Royce and his buddies killed you," I said matter-of-factly.

She stared at me wide eyed, her head slightly to one side, but her thoughts remained calm, but she burned with curiosity even more now. She opened her mouth to speak then stopped and collected her thoughts. "What do you know about Royce?"

I shuttered and turned away from her as I saw the images of that horrible night in her head. "I know you let him off way too easy for he did to you," I said without looking at her.

The images in her head were so clear, even though she had been human at the time. I could see her walking down the road toward a group of men standing under a broken streetlamp. She had even been slightly relieved when she had realized it had been Royce.

"Rose!" Royce yelled.

As she approached, her relief turned to fear. She could smell the stench of alcohol and stale cigar smoke that clung to him and his drunken friends.

"Here's my Rose!" Royce shouted to his friends. "You're late. We're cold, you've kept us waiting too long," he said, slurring his words.

They had been waiting for her.

"What did I yell you, John," Royce blubbered and pulled her roughly to his side. "Isn't she lovelier than all your Georgia peaches?"

"It's hard to tell, she's all covered up," John said in a slow southern drawl.

Then Royce ripped her jacket off of her shoulders, the metal buttons, tiny replicas of the King family crest, bounced off the cement street and she had heard them even above the cantankerous laughter of her attackers.

"Show them what you look like Rose," Royce laughed and tore the hat from her head, pulling out clumps of hair and skin.

She cried out in pain and it only made them laugh louder. Royce ran his hands roughly over her breast and down her side then kissed her so hard he cut her lip with his teeth. She fought against is advances but his friends held her incapacitated. Another man took her by the arms and Royce ripped open her blouse. He grabbed her breast with enough force to knock the wind from her. He covered it with his mouth and bit down. She grabbed two handfuls of his hair and pulled him away. He punched her in the ribs and she fell backwards into John's arms. He held her as Royce ripped the rest of her clothes from her trembling body.

John swung her around and kissed her hard on the lips. She bit his tongue when he tried to slide in her mouth. She gagged at the disgusting taste and spat the blood in his face. Then Royce forced her to her knees. She struggled and kicked to free herself, tearing her bare flesh on the rough street, but he forced himself inside her from behind as she screamed out in pain. She felt the warm flow of blood down her inner thighs and she stopped fighting. Cold tears ran from her eyes as Royce's accomplices took turns with her as she lay naked and bleeding in the street.

I sat staring; my mouth agape and I felt tears start to stream down my face. I stood quickly to leave the room, but Rosalie was in front of me in an instant. I put my hands up defensively but she gently took my wrists and held me still for a moment until I had calmed somewhat. I couldn't look at her.

"You can see and _feel_ my memories, can't you?" she asked.

I tried to jerk my wrists from her grip, but she held tight.

"Lily…" she pushed my wrists together and held them with one hand then lifted my chin and wiped the tears from my cheek.

My first reaction was to jerk away and not let her touch my face, but her thoughts were so gentle, so caring and protective that for a moment I forgot that it was Rosalie Hale, _vampire_, standing inches from me and holding my wrists. My breathing was heavy and I could feel my heart pounding hard in my chest. I knew she could hear it too. Then reality came back to me, it _was_ a vampire standing inches from me. I took a long slow breath and exhaled slowly before I spoke.

"Please Rosalie. Let me go," I said with exaggerated calmness.

She loosened her grip slightly and waited a moment. I didn't budge. I just stood there, concentrating on remaining calm. She let my wrists go but didn't take her other hand off of my face. I let my shaking hands fall to my side.

"What is it Lily? My presence or the memories?" she asked.

"Both," I said quickly.

"Why does the memory bother you?"

I just looked at her incredulously for more than one unbelieving moment. "_Why_ does it _bother_ me?" I asked in stark disbelief.

"Yes. Why? You hate vampires. I'm a vampire. The memory was of me," she reminded me. "But you're crying over something that happened to _me_."

I finally saw her point, although I really didn't understand the logic behind it. Why _would_ I care what happened to her? But he had brutally attacked her and then left her for dead… how could _that_ not bother anyone?

"I have no tolerance for cruelty," I finally said. "Toward anyone, or anything. Especially when the odds are so stacked against the…" I stopped, not wanting to continue, but knowing I had said too much.

"Stacked against the what, Lily?"

"Nothing," I said and turned away

She didn't stop me this time, but she had thought about it. I sat down on the love seat and hid my face in my hands. She sat down beside me, more intrigued than ever. I stiffened when I felt her arm brush against mine, but I didn't move.

"Lily," she said softly, "Stacked against the what?"

I took a deep breath and looked into her amber eyes. I startled for half a heartbeat when I realized her face was inches from mine. "Especially when the odds are stacked against the unsuspecting female." I finally completed the statement, knowing it would only spark more questions.

She looked into my eyes as if she were trying to find something, trying to read something that might be hidden there. She touched my face again and I jumped. She withdrew her hand quickly then slowly touched my cheek again, wiping away what was left of the tears.

All of the fear in me was gone. Disappeared in an instant under the cool touch of her hand.

"Who do you mean, Lily?" she asked soothingly.

I placed my hand on the back of hers and slowly pulled it away from my face. She didn't fight me. I stood up and walked to the dining room. She followed.

"Is that why you're alone?" she asked.

_Arrggg! Why was she doing this? _How_ was she doing this to me?_ I wondered. _I have dropped all of my defenses, if she wanted to kill me now, she'd have no problem at all. I might as well just offer her my neck. _I felt her right behind me and I stopped suddenly and turned. Again, I was only inches from her face, "Rosalie, I really do not want to discuss this, alright." I said sternly.

"I'm sorry," she said softly and bowed her head then took a step back. "I do understand what it's like to feel pain, Lily. The kind of pain that never quite leaves completely. The kind that lingers in the shadows, always waiting for the most inopportune moment to make itself known. Don't think that I don't know what that feels like, Lily. Because I do. I have been very lucky that I have never had to be alone." She paused for a moment. "I only came here to thank you for the beautiful paintings and for keeping my secret…"

"As you've kept mine," I interrupted.

"Yes, as promised. I didn't come here to upset you, Lily. And I'm sorry if I did. As before, it would probably be best if I were never here. You're secret is still safe, as I presume mine is also."

"Yes, always," I confirmed.

She stared into my eyes again, wanting to say more, wanting to ask more questions but knowing she'd get no answers.

"Goodbye, Lily. And again, thank you," she said and she was gone.

I didn't bother trying to follow her or even follow her thoughts. I didn't want to talk about mother with anyone, especially not her. Even though she had kept her word she was still a threat to Bella and to me, if she wanted to be. But that didn't seem like it would be the case. Like she had said, she was never here.

She arrived home in time for Bella's birthday party.

I was only half paying attention until Bella sliced her arm wide open. I took a deep breath and shook my head slowly as I watched through Edward's eyes. Jasper had tried to take a bite out of Bella and Edward saw red.

I also saw that he was seriously considering that Bella would be safer without him, without the constant threat of his vampire housemates. But he could never leave her. He loved her. He loved her more than he loved himself.

That night, in the wee hours of the morning I woke in a cold sweat. My eyes were burning and my claws were dug in and wrapped around the coils inside the mattress.

_No Edward! What are you thinking!_ I thought in a panic.

He had decided to leave her. Edward was leaving Bella and Forks and the rest of the Cullen family was going with him.

_Think about it Edward, is this really the best thing for Bella? Can you not see that she can't live without you?_ He wasn't listening.

It was two days before he met her after school to tell her they were leaving.

He led her into the forest, only a few yards, and leaned against a tree.

"Were leaving Bella," he began.

She thought he meant the two of them at first. It took a few moments for her to realize he didn't mean her.

I raced home and parked my car in the garage. I ran through the house, throwing keys here, book bag there. I threw my coat on the floor and grabbed a light raincoat on the way out the back door. I put on the raincoat as I ran across yards and streets toward the forest. Once I reached the forest I ran at full speed. Too fast to be a human, but still not as fast as vampire. I listened as I ran through the trees. I had to try to stop him, but I couldn't just drive my car over, park in front of her house and just walk up to them. They would think I was crazy. _And maybe I was_.

His thoughts were mixed. He knew he loved her, and he knew he would be lost without her, but he felt it was the best for her. The incident with Jasper on her birthday had only solidified his fears. She was human and he was not. She was too fragile for his world and he would not make her an immortal. He would not take her soul. What he wouldn't see was that it was already his.

I screamed at him through my thoughts. _Edward, look at her! Look into those eyes and tell yourself that you can live without her. You are her life, Edward, please! Why can't you see that?_

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me," his voice drifted like a black cloud through the damp forest.

_Edward! Don't do this!_ I pleaded.

"You don't want me?" Bella said as his words sank in.

"No," the word was cold and empty as he said it.

It hit Bella like buckshot to the chest.

"Well, that changes things," she said more calmly than I thought possible.

He continued to speak. I was running as fast as I could toward them. I had to catch him before he left. Would I be able to make him see? Would her thoughts still be coherent enough when I got there to convey how she felt? It would do no good to try to show him now, he would never believe it. He would convince himself that it was just wishful thinking, his mind under duress from the lies he was forcing himself to tell. He continued talking.

"You are not good for me Bella," he said coldly.

I was furious. I tucked my chin against my chest and ran harder. I wanted to fly into Edward, maybe knock some sense into him. How could he be doing this? He loved her… Loved her more than anything. How could he not see that this was killing her? Could he not see the despair in her eyes, the empty thump of her heart?

And how could she believe him? _Call his bluff, Bella. Don't let him leave._ But she couldn't hear me, she couldn't hear anything. Her mind was blocking everything. She was shutting down.

I was almost there.

He kissed her forehead and was gone. He disappeared into the forest.

"Dammit!" I yelled. I was still too far for her to hear me, and Edward was already miles away.

She followed him into the forest, though he was long gone. I caught up to her but stayed far enough behind so she wouldn't notice me. Not that she would've noticed a punch to the gut at this point. But I wasn't chancing it. It was too late. Edward was gone.

Bella wandered for hours in the rain, stumbling and falling more frequently the darker it became. Then she fell and didn't get up. She rolled onto her side and just lay on the cold wet ground.

I stood about thirty yards behind her on the trail. What could I do? What would comfort her at this point? Nothing.

I fell to my knees, tears streaming down my face as I watched over Bella. I reached my hand out toward her and fought every instinct to go comfort her. There was nothing I could do or say that would make any difference. I had been too late to stop him and now my precious Bella was in pain. There was _nothing_ I could do. I couldn't comfort her, but I could protect her until Charlie came for her. I knew he would come looking for her, it was only a matter of time.

I sat with my feet under me, knees an inch deep in the mud of the path, and cried. Bella was numb. Her thoughts were an incoherent jumble of gibberish, the only words that made sense were_ gone_ and _Edward._

I watched over her until I could see flashlights approaching. I scurried up a tree and waited for them to pick her up and carry her from the forest.

I walked home slowly in the rain. The tears continued to fall from my eyes, blended with the falling rain, and disappeared into the soggy, wet ground. It was well after midnight when I stumbled through the back door, soaking wet and muddy. I couldn't stop crying.

I had to leave. I couldn't stay here. If I couldn't help Bella, there was no reason for me to be in Forks. Maybe I could find Edward and convince him to come back to her.

I pulled myself off the floor, fumbled through the closet and pulled out a large duffle bag. I threw in clothes, toiletries and some art supplies.

I grabbed the keys to the Charger then thought better of it. I put those keys back on the counter and took the key to the Mercedes off the hook on the wall. I threw the bag over my shoulder and walked into the garage. I leaned down and unhooked the cloth cover that was over the car. I flung it to the side and let it drift to the floor beside the Charger.

The Mercedes got better gas mileage and was much less likely to be heard as I left town. I thought of Scott as I got into the car.

I hit the button to open the garage door, got out of the car and walked back into the house. I scribbled a note for Scott that something had come up and I had to leave suddenly. I also added that if anything were to happen to me and I didn't come back, the Charger was his.

If Edward was gone, there was no reason for me to stay in Forks. Without Edward, Bella only half existed. The same for Edward. Wherever he was going, he was no longer whole. He left his other half in Forks. Now they both had to fake an existence without the part that made them complete. I began to cry again.

I stuffed the letter into an envelope, wrote Scott's name on the outside and placed it on the counter under the keys to the Charger. I left my cell phone on the counter, too. I didn't want any ties to Forks.

I left Forks not knowing if I would ever return. I would miss Scott more than anything, but I could not stay here. It would kill me to see Bella, to know the pain she was feeling, to feel the hole in her left by Edward's absence. It was more than I could bear. Edward and Bella were somehow a big part of my future, and now that future was gone. He was gone. She was ripped apart. I was leaving.

I drove through Forks and headed north on the 101, through Port Angeles through Idaho and Montana, only stopping for gas and restroom breaks. My thoughts would drift back to Bella's tortured mind and my eyes would well up. _Dammit Lily! Stop it!_ I would tell myself. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I was sure it would be east of the Mississippi.

When I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer, I exited the interstate and found a decent hotel. As long as it was clean and had inside access. I parked the car as close to the front door as I could, grabbed my bag and checked in. It was almost two in the afternoon and I was exhausted. Once in the room, I locked all the locks, checked the window locks and fell across the bed. I was asleep before I felt the bed beneath me.

My dreams were jagged and fractured. Glimpses of alternate futures, futures that seemed not only distant, but impossible now that Edward and Bella were apart. I felt as if part of me had been striped away and went with Edward and I left another part in Forks and what was left was only what I had to have to survive, instincts.

I tossed and turned for what seemed like days. When I woke I didn't feel like I had slept at all. The clock on the table said it was only just after eight PM. My whole body would shake occasionally, like an arctic wind whipped up my spine for only a brief moment. I was hungry, famished even, and I remembered that I hadn't had anything to eat in days.

I was in a wickedly ill mood. I wanted to find Edward and find out how many swipes I could take out of him before he killed me. And at the moment, I wouldn't care if he killed me or not. He had taken away some part of an unknown future that I knew was supposed to involve him and Bella. It had to involve him, she loved him and Alice had already seen her as a vampire. They were supposed to be part of my future, somehow.

I pulled the pillow to my chest and wrapped my arms around it. A low growl brewed in the back of my throat as the angered vampire began to stir. I wiped my face across the pillow to wipe away the tears as I felt my eyes begin to burn, then out of rage ripped the pillow in half. In the next instant I had moved the bed to the far wall and I was on the balls of my feet, crouched on the floor where the bed had been not two seconds before. A low, terrifying growl escaped my lips. My hands curled into claws and punctured the carpet then the concrete floor. I pulverized the chunks into powder then dug my claws down again.

_How could you do this Edward?_ I yelled at him through my thoughts, but like always, he wasn't listening. _You idiot, _I yelled again_. I hope you're happy, you've killed the only person you will ever love._

Bella was numb. Her thoughts still a jumbled mess of emptiness.

I was furious. I wanted so badly to comfort Bella, but what would I say? I never in a million years thought he would ever leave her. He loved her. Loved her more than anything else in the entire universe. But he's gone, and from the looks of his thoughts, sulking in his own self pity.

Why hadn't I shown him how she feels? Why didn't I relay, just once, how she felt when he touched her? The lingering sensations that his touch left on her skin every time they made contact? Why hadn't I shown him her dreams just one time? Just one time so he would know that she was just as in love with him. But I didn't, and now he was gone because he thought he was being strong. Thought he was protecting her from the life she would die for, from a life with him. I knew he thought he was doing the right thing, but it didn't help me much. The one person whose thoughts were hidden to him, was the one person that he was effectively killing right now and part of me was dying with her.

I took a deep breath then another and another until I finally began to calm down. There was really nothing I could do. I had no idea where Edward had gone, his thoughts were only of Bella, no locations, no nothing. It's as if his eyes were closed and he was dreaming of every moment he had spent with her. Repeating over and over in his head.

I looked down at my hands and at the light gray powder that covered them both. I turned them over to inspect the damage. Although I was part vampire, I still had an external covering of delicate human skin. I walked to the bathroom to wash the pulverized concrete and blood from my hands. My knuckles were pretty chewed up from the concrete and like many times before, my claws had punctured my palms. It didn't even hurt anymore when I did it. It would heal in no time.

Finally, when I had calmed down enough, I walked down to the front desk and asked about the nearest place to get a steak. I kept my hands in my pockets, just in case.

"Well, I don't know if they're still open but you can try the restaurant about two miles that way," the boy at the front desk told me, pointing out the window toward the opposite direction of the interstate.

"Thank you, I'll try there," I smiled and strolled out the double glass doors.

I drove down the street about two miles and saw a little mom and pop restaurant. It looked open, thought I couldn't see any times posted outside.

I parked the car and walked in. There were a few couples finishing up their meals. The waitress looked my way and smiled.

"What time do you close?" I asked the waitress as she walked toward me.

"Ten," she smiled. "But I'm sure we can get you a meal to go if you'd like."

It was five minutes before ten.

"Yes, thank you," I said gratefully. "Steak, rare, and an order of fries?" I said, questioningly.

"Rare?" she confirmed.

"The rarer the better," I told her.

She paused a moment, smiled and said, "One rare steak, coming right up."

I sat down at the closest table to where I was standing. I looked around the restaurant and five out of the six people in there, were looking at me. I ignored them.

It wasn't five minutes before the waitress came out with a Styrofoam container.

"What would you like to drink, hon?" she asked.

"Soda is fine, whatever you have," I answered.

I stood up and walked to the cash register where she had placed the container of food before disappearing back into the kitchen. She returned with a covered Styrofoam cup and sat it on the counter.

"Nine seventy eight," the waitress said.

I placed a twenty on the counter. "Keep it," I said nodding at the waitress.

"Oh," she said startled by the gesture, "but I really didn't do anything."

"It is after ten though," I smiled and picked the food up off the counter. "Thank you for staying."

"Uh, no problem," she said as I walked out the door.

I took the food back to the hotel and ate in the room. The plastic knife and fork wasn't quite up to the task so I ate the steak with my fingers. Not exactly lady like, but hey, I was hungry.

When I was done, I did my best to conceal the holes in the floor before I placed the bed back in its proper place. I clicked on the TV and started flipping through channels. I wasn't really looking for anything, I was just trying not to think about Bella. Or Edward for that matter. I found some cheesy chick flick and settled in against a stack of pillows. It didn't take long for me to doze off.

It was dark and the air was moist. I was crawling around on my hands and knees in the dark. I felt something soft but cold and wet. I focused in the faint light and could make out the shape of a face. I looked down at my hands and they were covered in blood and as I looked past my hands I could make out a body. The stomach area was a black, empty hole. I turned my face away only to feel a cold hand on my arm. I turned and it was Bella's face I saw.

I sat straight up in the bed, wide awake. My heart pounded in my chest, sweat beads dotted my forehead and my hair stuck to the back of my neck.

"How am I going to make it through this?" I asked myself aloud, hiding my face in my hands.

What was it about Edward and Bella? Why was this killing me? I didn't know them. I had barely said ten words total to them in all the time I had been in Forks. But I couldn't stop thinking about her. About what he had done, about how he thought he was doing the right thing. The one person's thoughts that he could not hear was at home, fighting to make herself breathe. He was off by himself again trying to convince himself that he could survive without her. I had to make myself stop thinking about them. It was the only way I would be able to survive.

I turned off the TV, took a quick shower, got dressed and checked out. It was about four AM when I pulled onto the interstate. I put my foot on the gas and accelerated to over one hundred miles an hour. The needle crept to one hundred and twenty and I set the cruise control. I cranked up the stereo until it felt like my ears would explode.

I stopped only to fill up with gas and once to eat. I couldn't allow hunger to let my temper flare again. I slowed only when I feared a state trooper over the next hill or around the next corner. Three times, I was right and waved at them as I passed them driving the speed limit. As soon as I was out of radar range I reset the cruise control.

I drove for nearly twenty four hours before I stopped again to rest. I pulled into a hotel and checked in. I slept for about six hours and was back on the interstate.

It was about midnight when I turned off of the interstate and onto a familiar road. The road twisted and turned through the dark. I fought the urge to accelerate, there were too many deer in this area and I really liked this car.

A twelve cylinder Mercedes SL65 AMG. It was way too showy for a high school girl though. The last thing I wanted was to draw attention to myself so I kept the car covered in the garage. If anyone asked, I told them that it was my dad's baby. When Scott noticed it was gone, I'm sure he'll assume that I left with my dad. The one that didn't exist.

I reached an overgrown driveway and slowly pulled through the weeds and underbrush. It didn't look like anyone had been here in years. I had left a trust fund to cover the yearly property taxes, as I did with the other three properties I had bought throughout the years. The trusts were also supposed to cover general maintenance, like lawn care. I guess I had some phone calls to make. I guess I needed to get a phone.

The driveway was about two hundred yards to the house. I rolled slowly, not knowing what may be hidden in the tall weeds. When I reached the house, I angled the car so the headlights were shining through the windows. I dug through my purse for the keys I kept in the bottom.

I climbed out of the car and walked up onto porch. It was cool outside, but not cold. Crickets and katydids chirped and sang. Frogs croaked from the banks of the creek on the other side of the driveway. The air was dry compared to Forks, but I'm sure anywhere would've seemed dry, comparatively speaking. I unlocked the door and it creaked and squeaked all the way open. The house smelled empty. Like no one and no thing had been in here in years. All the windows seemed to be intact, the door was still locked and the driveway was definitely not used regularly.

I made my way in the dark to the basement door. I walked down the rickety wooden steps and felt around for the fuse box. The squeak was way louder than I expected when I opened the metal door. I clicked the main breaker and an illuminated buzz came to life over my head. I walked upstairs and out to the car to turn off the headlights and engine. I swung my bag over my shoulder and walked back to the porch. I stopped and listened to the sounds around me. Oh, how I had missed this place.

I placed the bag on the porch and broke into a full run toward the trees. I cleared the creek in single stride and the frogs were silent for a moment, then one by one the harmonies began again. I ran on a small path through the trees and took in all the sounds and smells I had missed so much. I ran past the pond that Daniel and I would swim in during the summers. I passed the tree that had a deer stand in it about twenty feet up where I would wait for deer. I had actually managed to kill a few by landing directly on top of them.

I ran over the hill to the clearing where the horses used to be. I followed the tree line to the adjacent side of the clearing and stopped in front of the old horse barn. One of the support posts that held up the feeding trough overhang had collapsed and fallen, along with half of the overhang. I walked around to the other side and walked through the wide opening. It was dark inside but my eyes quickly adjusted. I walked across the dry dirt floor to the ladder on the opposite wall. I climbed up into the hay loft and to my surprise, there was still hay up there. Far from edible for any grazer, but more than adequate for a bed. I walked to the opposite wall, the wall above the entrance door downstairs, unhooked the rope from a bent nail and swung open the loft doors. I sat down in the opened doorway, my legs hanging over the edge and looked out over the empty rolling meadow.

I remembered the many nights that Daniel and I had spent in this loft. Laughing and playing and spending hours on end talking about how we would spend the rest of our lives together and about how we would see the world. It didn't quite turn out that way, though.

He had been the only person that I had ever come close to telling about my past and about what I was, or at least what I thought I was. He had been the only person that I had ever been with. Even though I loved Scott, I just couldn't sleep with him. I loved the feel of his skin against mine but that was as far it went. I just never felt with Scott the way I felt when I had been with Danny. The only times that I had felt the same way was when the vampire inside remembered the times I had been with Daniel. But it would happen eventually though; I just had to give it time. That is, if I ever went back and he forgave me for just leaving in the middle of the night.

I remembered that night with Danny at the pond so vividly and I remembered how close he had been to seeing the vampire, the flame red eyes and the claws that had been awakened by the feelings that had been so new to me.

My memories were suddenly interrupted by movement across the meadow. A light bay mare walked slowly from the trees. She stopped a few yards into the clearing, tore off a few long pieces of grass then continued walking slowly as she chewed.

I jumped down from the loft without a sound and made my way toward her. I approached slowly and cautiously. Her eyes followed me and she was well aware of my approach. I tore off a couple of handfuls of grass and held them out in front of me as I walked toward her. She bobbed her head and her nostrils flared as she sniffed the air. I laughed to myself because I could see the confusion in her eyes. She could smell the faint hint of predator, and more than just a human predator, she could smell a tiny part of the vampire. Her head bobbed and jerked as she tried to decide to stay or to run.

I stopped a few years from her and held out the grass. I guess the offering was just too much to pass up and she took a few tentative steps toward me. She was definitely tame. I could tell by her eyes and the way she watched me and the way she moved, not to mention her condition. She was well taken care of and was apparently used to have humans around.

She stopped about two feet from me, her neck stretched as far as it would go toward the grass in my hand. I often wondered if grass in someone's hand tasted better than all of the acres of grass around, because the horses would literally follow you around the meadow if you had grass or hay in your hand. I smiled and leaned closer to the mare so she could take the grass from my hand then I turned to walk back to the barn.  
>I heard her footsteps behind me then I felt her nose nudge my back. I stopped in my tracks and she head butted me in me butt. I had nearly forgotten how strong they were and she probably wasn't expecting me not to budge. She neighed playfully and pushed against my back again. I took a few steps forward this time and she followed. I held out my hand as I was walking and slowed so her neck was over my shoulder then I stroked her neck as we walked back toward the barn.<p>

I threw some of the bales of hay down from the loft and spread them out over the dry dirt floor of one of the inner stables. The mare started eating some of the old hay and I figured I probably wasn't going to stop her. I pushed her head out of the way so I could lie down. It was late and I was tired. I had nowhere to be and since I was here, I might as well get some sleep. The mare would get tired soon enough and probably go to sleep too. So I pushed a bunch of hay into a bed, curled up in the corner and drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9: Old Acquaintances

**Old Acquaintances**

I was awaken by the soft muzzle of the mare against the side of my head. I opened my eyes wearily and I was curled up against her side. I guessed she was ready to get up and didn't want to hurt me when she stood up. Or maybe she was irritated that I had disturbed her by talking in my sleep, who knows. Once I was on my feet, the mare stood up and shook off the loose hay. She neighed at me softly and nudged me with her head.

"What is it girl?" I asked and stroked her neck.

I leaned against her and rested my head against her shoulder. She was a rather big horse, at least fifteen hands, she had a light bay coloration, which was a reddish brown coat, a black mane and tail and black on her legs. She was probably a Standardbred. I wondered what she was doing here and how she got onto the property. There must be a fence down somewhere. I figured at some point I'd check.

I led the mare outside and stood beside her a few minutes, stroking her back and getting her used to me. Then I walked her around the meadow for a while and sat down while she ate. I watched the clouds drift by overhead and tried to think about anything _except_ Edward or Bella. Scott was aware that I was gone, but like I had assumed, he thought my dad had taken me somewhere with him at the last minute. If I did go back, I would definitely use that excuse.

After about half an hour I decided it was time to test my luck. I stood and walked over to the grazing animal and stroked her back again for a few minutes. Then I gave her mane a quick tug to test her response. She lifted her head slightly but continued to graze. Then I pulled myself up and swung my leg over her back. She raised her head and turned to look at me. She gave a short snort and started walking. I let her walk wherever she wanted to go. It was way too soon to try to lead her anywhere.

I sat, perched on her back as she walked around the meadow. She made a couple of wide circles and finally stopped and started to graze again. I swung my legs back onto her rump and wrapped my arms around her neck. I hid my face in her mane and allowed myself to relax. I stayed on her back, lounging peacefully, for a couple of hours. I even dozed off once with the warm sun on my back and a living breathing, heartbeat beneath me.

Finally I decided it was time to try to ride this horse. So I sat upright, positioned myself just behind her shoulder and made a clicking sound with my mouth. Her ears pricked up and she took a few steps forward. I gently pressed my heels into her sides and leaned forward only slightly. Was it possible she was a dressage horse? Nah, I would never be so lucky. But she did acknowledge the shift in my weight and she did walk a little faster. I made another clicking sound and leaned forward a little more. Her pace quickened. I let her trot along until she decided to stop. That was enough for today. I didn't want to push it. I had no idea how long it had been since she had been ridden and I didn't want her to associate me with work, especially if she had been forced to in the past. So I slid off of her back and started walking toward the pond.

It was over the hill about four hundred yards or so and the mare followed me, nudging me as I walked then walked ahead of me then turned and stopped. She bobbed her head and pawed the ground.

"What is it girl," I asked and scratched her neck.

She snorted and bobbed her head again then she relaxed the shoulder that was closest to me and I laughed with delight. I had seen only one other horse do that, the mare that I had loved so much when I lived here before. She would drop her shoulder for me to climb on her back.

I laughed out loud and took a handful of her mane and with a quick leap, swung my leg over her back. She lifted her head high and pranced off toward the pond. I couldn't help the wide grin on my face, maybe this was one of my mare's offspring, or maybe she had the same trainer or rider. I really didn't care, she loved to be ridden and I loved to ride.

She took me to the pond as if she knew that's where I was going. I had only wanted to see it in the daylight, to see if it looked the same as it did thirty years ago. We walked over the hill and down to the right side of water. There was a deep trench in the path where the pond water overflowed during heavy rains. The mare simply jumped over it like it was nothing at all. I was really beginning to love this horse and I stroked her neck when she stopped on the far side of the pond, a foot deep in the water and dropped her head to drink. I looked around. Everything was exactly the way it was thirty years ago. Albeit a little overgrown with more trees, but the same.

When she was finished, she turned around, walked down the trail and back toward the house. I needed to go shopping. I figured I could pick up some horse feed and some fresh hay for the mare.

"Sugarfoot," I said aloud and her ears rotated back. "I think I'll call you Sugarfoot since you only have one sock."

Her right hind leg was white about six inches up from her hoof. They called that a sock in the horsing world. Daniel had taught me quite a bit about horses since his mother had raised them.

Daniel and his family had lived adjacent to my property and from the time I moved in, they had used the seventy acres of my land to let their horses graze. I didn't mind at all, it's not like I was using the land for anything else and the animal's grazing helped to keep the grass and weeds at a manageable height. It was quite overgrown now.

The nearest I could tell, the new owners of the Webb property had this horse and she had either been allowed through the fence or there was a hole somewhere in the fence line between the properties.

Right now, I was actually happier than I had been in a long time, sitting relaxed on the back of this horse as she meandered toward the clearing below my house. The Webb's horses had kept me company in the months before I had met Daniel. And I welcomed the company now. This horse didn't care about my past, she would never ask questions about my parents and she wouldn't care that I looked exactly the same years from now.

_Get a grip, Lily,_ I thought. _Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go shopping. _

When we reached to driveway I slid off her back stood by her, stroking her neck and head for a while. She was a sweet horse and seemed to really liked my company. She was probably lonely since horses are social creatures and she was all alone here. At least I figured she was alone since I had seen no evidence of any other horses around.

When I had finished petting her I walked up the driveway to the house and she followed me of course. Maybe she'd stay around the house for a while and eat some of the overgrowth. I could only hope.

I grabbed my bag off of the porch and went inside. I walked upstairs put my bag on the dresser and pulled the oversized sheet form the bed and headboard that I had put there before I left years ago. I opened the large windows over the bed and swung them all the way open. Then I took the toiletries out of my bag and went to take a shower. No water, I thought. I had turned the water from the well off, but the pump was attached to the house's electrical supply, so I went downstairs, then down into the basement to turn on the pump. It was an old house, and most of the modern things like running water and electricity had been retrofitted many, many years after the house was built. I was really hoping that everything still worked. After I turned on the pump I grabbed a wrench and walked outside to turn the water back on.

The mare greeted me with a neigh just like my mare had done so many years ago. _I could really get used to be being back here,_ I thought.

I turned the water back on and could hear the pipes rattle and shake as they filled with water for the first time in nearly three decades. I would definitely have to let the water run for a while. I went back downstairs to return the wrench and check the hot water heater. It seemed to be working and there were no leaks, which was a very good thing, I hated plumbing repairs.

In the bathroom on the first floor, I turned the water on in the bathtub. It wasn't nearly as brown as I thought it would be. I let the water run and went to make a list of supplies that I needed. I didn't really need groceries… I ran upstairs and into the master bedroom then into the closet. In the corner, leaning exactly where I had left it, was a bow. A quiver of arrows was on the floor beside it. I grinned to myself, I wouldn't need groceries, I would hunt. I picked up the bow and arrows and took them downstairs.

I made a list of the things I may need; like soap, shampoo, and toothpaste. Then other things like dish soap and laundry detergent. And I needed a phone. I would go buy a prepaid phone since I wouldn't need to use it very much.

When I could smell the clean fresh scent of spring water, I turned off the water downstairs and went upstairs to take my shower. I let the water run a few minutes first. The bathroom upstairs was very, very old. It was one open eight by ten room, completely tiled in pink marble tile from floor to ceiling on two walls and halfway up the wall on the others. The only thing that gave away it was even a shower was the one inch high ridge that made a quarter circle around one of the corners. There were no walls, no doors and no curtains. The toilet was on the far wall, in the corner. The sink, a pedestal type sink, with a slim base and little in the way edges, was a pale pink color and sat two feet from the door on the same wall. Two silver towel racks were on the far left wall and the shower, directly across from the door, was simply a showerhead just above eye level with hot and cold water knobs on each side. It was almost like someone had converted a walk-in closet into a shower at some point. The ceiling was angled and there were no windows, even though it had an outside wall.

I striped out of my clothes and took a quick shower then rummaged through my bag to get clean clothes. I threw on an old pair of jeans and an old quarter sleeve concert tee shirt from a few years ago then headed out.

I was at the local general store, which was basically a feed store and a grocery store and a pharmacy all in one. A country version of Wal-Mart. I picked up a fifty pound bag of feed for the mare and spoke to the gentleman about delivering it and some hay to the property. There was no way I was going to get it in my car and they did deliver hay to and from local farms. He agreed and took my address. I decided to get to bags of feed and two dozen bales of hay. He told me they would have it delivered by noon tomorrow so I bought a ten pound bag of feed for the mare in the meantime. I got what I needed as far as toiletries and cleaning supplies; laundry detergent, dish washing liquid, a prepaid cell phone and the like and was pushing the cart to the car when I heard someone call out my name.

"Lily?" someone called from across the parking lot.

I ignored her. No one should know me here, not unless, I shuttered, unless they knew me thirty years ago.

A woman in her mid forties came scurrying across the parking lot toward me. When she was a row away she spoke again.

"Oh my God, you have to be Lily Honeycutt's granddaughter. You are the spittin' image of her, darlin'," she said with an obvious southern drawl.

I looked over and met her eyes. I tried to hide my astonishment when I realized that it was Michelle. The same Michelle that was my best friend almost thirty years ago. I couldn't believe that she was still here. We had, well, she had grown up not ten miles from here.

"Oh my," she gasped when she saw my eyes. "I would bet my life on it," she said nearly under her breath.

"Hi," I said shyly.

"What's your name, dear?" she asked.

I swallowed hard and answered honestly, well, almost, "Lily Honeycutt. After my grandmother," I answered.

"You look _exactly_ like I remember her," she said. "It's almost uncanny."

"Yeah, I get that a lot," I said and started putting my bags in the car.

"Are you living at the Honeycutt place?" she asked and I nodded. "Been back long?"

"This morning," I said not looking at her.

When I had put everything in the trunk I hurried to return the cart so I could leave. I really didn't need this right now. The last thing I had considered was a run-in with someone from my past, especially someone that I had been close to.

Michelle and I had been the best of friends. She had been there when Daniel was killed and she had been the person that had gone to the funeral since I was forbidden by Daniel's mother to attend. It had been Michelle that verified that it was no hoax and that Daniel was really dead and being buried. At first, I thought that maybe Daniel's mother had fabricated his demise to get rid of me, but Michelle verified that it was all true. She had even touched him, made sure that it was truly him.

It wasn't very long after, that I left. I hadn't been able to stay here with him gone. His mother had played a small role in me leaving too, since she tried to have me killed because she thought that _I_ had had something to do with Daniel's death. I might have wished I had died with him, but I wasn't going to give his mother the satisfaction of rolling over and dying just because she hated me. I never said goodbye to Michelle, I just left.

"Are you going to be here a while?" she asked.

I shrugged and continued walking back to the car. I wasn't trying to be rude, I was trying to act like I had no idea who this woman was.

"OK then," she said cheerfully, "I guess I'll see you later then."

"OK. Bye," I said and waved.

When I returned home I gave the mare some of the feed and took the supplies inside and put them away. I still couldn't believe that Michelle was still here, and we had ended up at the same place at the same. It _was_ uncanny.

I called the number on the prepaid cell phone and entered the mile long PIN to activate airtime. I called my house in Forks to see if the phone worked and I got the answering machine. Three messages from Scott.

What do I tell him? Do I tell him anything? If I was never going back, there was no need to tell him anything. He would call the police, report me as missing and after a few years they would assume I was dead. Wasn't that how it always worked in the real crime shows on TV? I had been gone less than a week, so I wasn't going to worry about Scott right now.

I went back outside and took off running toward the pond. The mare ran after me. I stopped and let her catch up. She was beautiful to watch. When she stopped in front of me she dropped her shoulder. I hopped on, wrapped my hand in her mane and gave her a gentle kick in the sides. She shot off like a rocket. I dug my heels in, lowered my body closer to her and let the wind ripple through my hair as she raced through the trees. It was breathtaking. This had been what I loved the most about being here, riding the horses all day, bareback and without reins. My mare had gotten so used to me that I didn't need them. She could tell by my movements and body language where I wanted her go and what I wanted her to do. And right now, I was hungry.

I leaned back a little and loosened my legs around this mare and she slowed down. I pushed my right knee into her side and leaned far over to my left and she turned around. I led her back to the house to get my bow and arrows.

We headed back out into the woods and rode toward the back of the property where the forest was thick and there was a better chance of scaring up some prey. She walked at a steady pace through the trees and I rode close her back, the bow in my hand against her side. I heard rustling up ahead. I lifted the bow and pointed it toward the sound. I pulled the arrow back slowly and waited for the animal to come out. The instant I saw the rabbit I let the arrow fly. And with a thwap, the rabbit was dead. The mare stopped and I slid off of her back.

I tore the fur and skin from the rabbit and drank deeply from its neck. When I was done, I hopped back on the horse and headed her back toward the house. I killed another rabbit on the way and this time I also ate some of the meat. Might as well get my fill now, would keep me from having to hunt again so soon.

When Sugarfoot and I got back to the pond she stepped in to drink and I slid off into the water to clean the fur and blood from my face and clothes. I took off my shirt and pushed it into the water. I wiped my face with it and then used it to wipe down the mare. It was warm for September and she had broken a sweat earlier during our run.

She decided that she wanted to play and started to bat her foot at the water, effectively drenching me in the process. So I dunked the shirt in the water and swung it at her. She bobbed her head and splashed harder. I backed deeper into the pond and when she followed me, I splashed her. She snorted and shook the water from her head. She dropped her head and her ears went flat against her head and she splashed through the water toward me. I moved to her side quickly and jumped onto her back before she could splash me again.

"Impressive, Lily," I heard a voice call from behind me and I froze.

I slowly turned around, wide eyed as I slid my soaked shirt over my head. The mare pranced out of the water and I jumped down, not taking my eyes off of Michelle.

"How is it possible?" she asked casually.

"What?" I asked.

"How have you not aged in thirty years?"

"What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"Lily, it's you, the same Lily that lived here in eighty five. The scars are a dead give-away. There's no way that that is a coincidence, Lil."

I tried to play it off, but she had clearly seen the scars. The scars left by a hungry vampire when I very young. Five, tear shaped scars on my shoulder, four on the back and one, slightly larger one on the front from the vampire's claws.

"It's _not_ possible," I said and ran my fingers through my dripping hair.

"I know, but here you are," she said. "How?"

I just shook my head.

"No, I do want to know, Lily," she smiled. "You haven't changed at all since we were young, literally," she said gesturing toward me. "Did you find the fountain of youth? Or were you bitten by a vampire? Or was it a werewolf since you're out in the daylight."

My eyes widened at the term for a spit second. "Vampire?" I asked incredulously.

She shrugged, "Got a better explanation?" she smiled.

"No," I sighed.

Had it been anyone else, I would've simply convinced her that she was crazy and that the scar was some sort of birth mark, but Michelle knew me too well. She knew all of my quirks, my subtle body movements and especially my eyes. We had spent too much time here. Riding the horses and playing in the pond. She _knew_ it was me, and it was clear that I wasn't going to be able to convince her otherwise. Michelle was just as stubborn as I was and her mind was made up.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I said, defeated, and started walking toward the house.

"Try me," she laughed. "I'm convinced that my husband is a werewolf," she said honestly.

I focused on her thoughts and could see a dark image running through the trees. A large figure, hunched over with a large head and broad back. Then I saw the gashes it had left in her side. I gasped unconsciously.

"Can you read minds, Lily?" she asked. "I've always wanted to ask you that, because you just know things, things that you really _shouldn't _know."

"What did he do to you?" I asked, ignoring her question but answering it at the same time.

She laughed without humor and lifted her shirt slightly. I could see three parallel scars that wrapped around her left side.

"He did that?" I asked.

She nodded. "Ten years ago. That's when it first started," she said.

"When what started?" I asked.

"The changes. The mysterious killings and his convenient disappearances."

"You really think he's a werewolf," I laughed.

"Yeah, I do," she said seriously.

"You?" I said, looking at her disbelievingly." You, Michelle Jenkins? The same Michelle that didn't believe in ghosts or extraterrestrials or anything that went bump in the night, believes her husband is a werewolf?"

"Yeah," she said quickly.

We walked about fifty yards and I watched her thoughts. She was serious and from what she had seen, she had every right to suspect what she did.

"Like I said," she began, "My husband had started disappearing at night around the same time cattle started turning up mutilated and half eaten. Like always, big cats were suspects but after a couple of weeks the killings just stopped. Around the same time Jim started a job at a butchering facility north of here."

"What made you think it was him?" I asked, even though I had seen the answer already.

"The bloody clothes and muddy footprints were an obvious give-away. But one night I stayed awake just to put my crazy notions to rest and that's when I got these," she said sliding her hand over the scars on her side. "He didn't mean to do it. I surprised him and he reacted violently. I should've just let it go."

"No you couldn't," I grinned. "It's just not in your nature to let things go."

She put her hand on my shoulder and smiled, "Glad to have you back, Lily."

The mare followed a few yards behind us. We walked up to the house and I pulled the sheets off of furniture that I had covered and threw them in washing machine to wash. We sat down on the sofa and the questions began.

"So," she said, "are you a werewolf too? Because Jim hasn't aged in ten years."

I shook my head, "No, I'm not a werewolf."

"You're not a vampire, because you've been in the sun…"

"No, I'm not a vampire either, but the sun wouldn't kill me even if I were," I said matter-of-factly.

"Really? How would you know?" she smiled. "I've read so much about so many different kinds of vampires and werewolves that it's just hard to know what fact is and what really is just ghost stories."

"I know," I agreed. "But the werewolves that I know about aren't the same as what you think Jim is."

"You mean the shape shifters?" she asked. "The Quileute wolves?"

I looked at her with wide eyes and with my mouth hanging open. She just laughed.

"I've done a lot of homework," she said.

"Obviously!" I gasped.

"The wolves would never harm a human, though. That's how I knew that Jim is something all together different."

"I've heard the stories first hand from the Quileute elders in La Push, Washington. I've never seen any of the wolves though."

"You probably never will," she informed me. "They go into a kind of hibernation period for generations at a time. They only shift when vampires are present, about every hundred years or so when the vampires return."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "Interesting."

"You think I'm full of shit, don't you?"

I swallowed hard, "No. I don't," I said honestly.

I was just wondering when the wolves were going to show up in Forks. The vampires had, after all, returned. She may have had the timing wrong, but she had obviously become well educated in all things vampire. I knew that the Quileute werewolves, well shape shifters existed, that's why I stayed away from La Push as much as possible. Jacob had told Bella about the legends, well, their history and now that the vampires were back, was Jacob going to be a shape shifter? Was that why he had grown a foot and doubled in size in less than six months? Jacob was a direct descendant of the Quileute elders. I didn't like Jacob that much anyway, but if he were to hurt my Bella because of Edward… _Edward is gone Lily,_ I reminded myself. _Maybe Bella and Jacob... No! I'm a vampire, Edward is a vampire. Bella is supposed to be with Edward. They are my future, not Jake._

"Lily?" Michelle said quietly.

"Sorry," I said. "I've had a lot on my mind lately."

"Who is he?" she asked, smiling.

"It's not like that. It's a whole lot more than that, actually. And I really don't want to talk about it. Not now anyways."

"Alright," she said and sighed. "So, you're definitely not human, you're not a vampire and you're not a werewolf or a shape shifter… What are you?"

"Some combination thereof," I answered.

"Human and _what_?"

"Vampire," I said looking her in the eyes.

"So you can make me a vampire?" she asked, a little too excided.

"No, I can't. I don't have venom," I told her.

"They _do_ have venom? That's how they change humans into vampires? With their venom?"

I just nodded, "And I lack that ability."

She thought about that for a moment. "You can't change anyone and you don't age… But humans… Damn," she said sadly. "Destined for an eternity alone. That has to be hard, Lil. How have you done it? Survived all alone for so long?"

"I haven't always been alone," I countered.

"But you don't stay in one place very long, do you?"

"No. People begin to notice after three or four years that you've never aged and I'm forced to leave before that happens. I stayed here way too long before."

"You would've stayed if Daniel hadn't been killed, though, wouldn't you?"

"Yes," I confirmed.

"You two loved each other so much, and it was so obvious, too. His mother, that bitch, should've been shot," she snarled. "I still think that _she_ had something to do with his death."

"I don't know what happened. I just know that everything about this place reminds me of him. I'm not going to be able to stay here for very long. I need to go Blue Ridge…"

"Where you're from," she interrupted.

"Yes. There are a few demons of my past that I need to face there. Things that I should've done decades ago," I said, trailing off as I spoke.

She could tell by the look in my eyes that I didn't want to talk about it. She always knew exactly how to read me. I had often wondered if _she_ had been able to read _my_ mind.

"Will you come back here?" she asked softly.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I'll stay here a little while though. I really love being here. I've missed this place so much."

"It's really good to have you back," she smiled, "even if you are still prettier than me."

"Pft! Right," I scoffed.

We laughed and talked a little while longer before she had to go.

"I'll come by tomorrow, if that's OK?" she asked.

"You're always welcome here," I told her. "But keep this…"

"I know. No one would believe me anyway," she grinned.

After she left I went out to give the mare more feed. When she saw me, she nickered softly and trotted over to me. I gave her the feed and headed out for a walk. I was almost to the pond when the mare caught up to me. I climbed on her back, locked my legs around her and leaned forward. She took out at a straight run and I just let her go wherever she wanted to go. She ran for a while then slowed to a trot then to a canter then back to a trot and finally to a walk. It was way past dark when we returned to the house. I brushed her down, gave her a little more feed then I went inside.

I put the sheets in the dryer and headed upstairs. The windows were still open and I climbed across the bed and perched myself on the windowsill. There was an eight inch wide sill that was more like a shelf under the windows. It was the width of the room and there were a total of four windows that opened inward like doors. The entire upper half of the wall was all windows. I sat there looking out over the front yard and creek below and listened to the country symphony of frogs and the insects. I thought I could even smell a faint hint of honeysuckle on the cool September breeze.

My thoughts drifted back to Bella. She was still numb. I wish that there was _something_ I could say to her that would make everything better, but there wasn't. Scott was convinced that my father had found out about the two of us and taken me away. _Humm, that wasn't a bad excuse,_ I thought.

Then I thought about the day's events with Michelle. I was sure that she believed that Jim, her husband, was a werewolf. I really didn't wish to find out. I had never encountered anything other than other vampires, though I was certain that other things existed. From what I had read, werewolves were vile, nasty creatures of habit and ruled by instinct. But if Michelle was still married to him, and she was still alive and not a werewolf, he at least possessed some degree of self control. I had to commend him for that.

I had been here less than twenty four hours and already someone knew I was a vampire, I had learned that there was a werewolf living within ten miles and I was still no closer to figuring out where Edward was hiding.

I climbed down, closed the windows, took a quick shower and put on clean clothes. I climbed into bed and stared out the window at the stars. I hated that about Forks, you could never see the stars.

My dreams that night were about wolves and werewolves. At least they weren't about Edward and Bella.

Michelle came to visit most days and we often talked about the past and she filled me in on who married whom from high school and so on and so forth. I didn't tell her very much about myself. When she would ask questions I didn't want to answer I would just tell her I didn't know. I'm sure that some of the times she didn't believe me, but she never pushed for answered. She did believe that I was part vampire and she would often ask about my diet and hunting and what it was like to eat that way. It wasn't something I really thought about. It was just a natural thing, instinctual.

I told her that I wasn't any good at hunting prey without weapons, and that a bow an arrow was my weapon of choice. I had landed on a few deer from the deer stand by the pond and managed to kill them that way. She seemed more in awe than anything else. There was no fear in her and I was grateful for that. We had been so close before there was no reason to fear what she had learned I was.

One day the curiosity got the better of her and she had to ask.

"Lily, I've read that vampires have impenetrable skin, do _you_?" she asked.

"Yes and no," I answered. "I have normal human skin over the impenetrable layer of vampire skin. I think that's the reason why I smell human to them."

"Them?"

"Other vampires," I clarified.

"Oh."

"You've met other vampires?" she asked after a few minutes.

"Yes," I answered and let it drop.

I didn't want to tell her about the Cullen family or Bella or about Forks. I had already mentioned La Push and that was probably too much. The last thing I needed was a human that wanted to be bitten to show up at the Cullen's front door. Although they weren't in Forks anymore, Bella was still there and I had to keep telling myself that Edward would come to his senses and return to his only love, in Forks.

It had been over a month and Bella was still numb. Edward was still hiding. Jacob was still getting bigger and I wondered why the change hadn't stopped now that the Cullen's were gone. _Because he's going to go back to her,_ I told myself.

Another month and a half passed and the leaves had changed and fallen and the January air had turned very cold. The mare was gone and I assumed that she had been taken and put indoors for the winter. She didn't really seem like the type of horse that would be left outside all winter anyway. I passed the time with my drawings and spent a lot of time outside hiking the fence line and through the trees, making mental notes of good places to hunt. I had been able to take down a deer with my bow and arrow and spent weeks tanning the hide. I taught Michelle the process since she was there most days.

At night I would often lie awake in bed and listen to Bella's thoughts. They were still just as fractured and as devastated as the day Edward had left. I could never go back to Forks. I couldn't stand to be that close to Bella and not be able to do anything for her.

That afternoon Michelle didn't stop by. When I searched her thoughts, Jim had accused her of having an affair, which is where he thought she had been spending all her time for the past few months. I hadn't shared my little gift with Michelle yet. I didn't think it was necessary at this point, but she had been smart enough not to bring Jim here, even if it did prove that he was wrong. She knew that vampires and werewolves did not play well together and since I was half human, I would've ended up as the dead one.

About one thirty in the morning I was woken by scratching outside. Nails against glass, the rattling of a doorknob. I walked down the steps slowly, ducking to see under the overhang and across the living room sooner. An awful stench hit my nose and I nearly gagged. It smelled like a wet dog had rolled in garbage then road kill and _then_ topped it off with a swim in a sewer. It was the worst thing I had ever smelled in my entire existence and I lifted the collar of my shirt over my nose.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard Michelle knock on the back door and call my name. I took a deep breath to calm myself and let Michelle in.

She was frantic.

"Is he here?" she asked, looking around the house.

"Is who here?" I asked.

"Jim!" she said, irritated.

"No," I said calmly. "Why… would… he be?" I said slowly realizing what the stench had been. "Get inside," I said pulling her through the door and slamming it behind her. "Go upstairs," I demanded.

"You just said he wasn't here," she said, confused.

"I heard something outside and I didn't know what it was. _Now_, I know what it was. Go upstairs," I said pointing toward the stairs.

"What are you going to do?" she asked.

"I don't know."

At that moment glass shattered and the back door busted open. Standing in the doorway was a six and a half feet tall, three hundred pound muscle bound monster. He was huge and covered in thick brownish black fur. His face looked more like a dog than a human, with a muzzle full of teeth and four two inch canines, two on the bottom and two on the top. His eyes were blood red and staring at me like I was dinner.

Before I even had time to construct a complete thought the vampire was awake and ready for a fight. My eyes felt like red hot pokers had been shoved into them. My claws, longer and wider than I had ever seen them already dripped with blood from punctures in my palms. I felt my heartbeat slow and it felt like everything else slowed with it. Growls rumbled in my chest and I stepped between Jim and Michelle.

"Go upstairs!" I growled and pushed her toward the steps without turning around.

The werewolf took half a step forward and I lunged for his throat. I knocked him through the back door, across the porch and into the driveway. I was on my feet before he even knew what had hit him. I took at swipe at his face and heard the slice of claws through flesh then claws against teeth and bone. He yelped in pain and took a step back, shaking his massive and now, bleeding head.

He glowered at me, his breath rising from his muzzle in the cold night air and I tried to read his next move. But there was nothing there. Could I not read his mind? Or was he just not thinking? He swung at me with his left clawed hand and I dodged but as soon as he missed with his left, he swung with his right and this time made contact. His claws tore through my chest and shoulder and a terrible, furious growl filled the night air, and I shuttered for half a heartbeat when I realized it was me. I lunged at his throat, locked my legs around his torso and I dug my claws into his neck. His claws tore at my back as I sank my razor sharp teeth through his flesh and ripped away a chunk before taking another bite. He roared and struggled to rip me from his body. But it was too late.

He fell backwards onto the driveway, writhing in pain and holding his neck. I stood over him watching him die. There was blood everywhere. As I heard his heartbeat falter, I saw his body begin to change. The fur retracted, as did the claws and the long, dog-like muzzle on his face. Bones cracked and popped and I could hear tissue being stretched and released. Tendons and ligaments pulled bone and muscle back to its original shape and with one last breath, the figure relaxed completely.

Something touched my arm and I instinctually turned, hands flared and claws ready to strike and when I was within inches of taking Michelle's head off I stopped suddenly and took two steps back. Michelle didn't move away, she just stood there, eyes closed with her head down, fingers clinched into tight fists, hoping I would realize it was her before it was too late. A low rumble in chest calmed before it escaped. I was breathing heavy and clouds of moist air swirled around my face with each breath.

Michelle opened her eyes and looked up at me slowly, not sure if the danger had passed.

"Are you alright?" her voice cracked and she reached for my torn shoulder.

I stiffened and stepped back. The growl escaped this time, but it wasn't a menacing growl. A warning maybe that I didn't want to be touched.

"Lily, you're bleeding everywhere," she said and I could hear the genuine concern in her voice.

I took a few deep breaths to get the vampire to relax and in one sinuous motion, jumped onto the low porch. Michelle followed me into the house and turned on the light. The back door was completely demolished. Shards of splintered wood and glass were all over the kitchen and into the laundry room.

Michelle ran ahead of me to the bathroom. When I got there she was rummaging through the closet looking for towels and bandages. I took a towel from her and held it under the running water. I started to take my ripped and bloody shirt off but got hung up in the many holes. Michelle tried to help me but eventually I just ripped it off and threw it on the floor. I looked down at my chest and there were four parallel gashes from the center of my chest and off my right shoulder. I turned to look at my back and was shocked by what I saw. It literally looked like hamburger.

He had scratched and dug continuously to get me off of him and there wasn't much left of my back. But I looked closer and it was only my human skin that was damaged. The werewolf couldn't penetrate my vampire skin. I sighed in relief and began cleaning the blood away from the wounds and from my face. Michelle cleaned my back as best she could and did her best to tape everything on place where it belonged. The wounds had already begun to heal.

When we were done, I went upstairs and got dressed. I filled my duffle bag with clothes and toiletries and went back downstairs.

"Where are you going?" Michelle asked.

"I can't stay here," I began. "What you are going to do when I leave is call the police. Tell them that something attacked and Jim tried to fight it off. I'll leave some fake mountain lion tracks going away from the house…"

"But what about you? You're completely ripped apart, don't you need to go to the hospital or something?" she asked.

"No, don't worry about me. It will only take a day or two for this to heal and it won't even scar. It didn't go through the vampire skin."

"But…" she started but I interrupted.

"I'll take all my bloody clothes and burn them when I get to where I'm going. Just tell the police that Jim was sleeping in the nude when the attack started. If we tried to dress him now it would be obvious. They won't have any other explanation and have to buy yours."

"But why call the police at all?" she asked.

"If you don't, they will eventually blame you for his disappearance, but if you make them think that he was protecting you, it takes all the blame off of you _and_ me, not that they'll know I was here," I said under my breath.

"But what about all of the blood?" she asked.

"It all belongs to him and whatever it was that attacked. I'm not sure if either one of the samples will register as human. But they'll just think it was contaminated somehow and dismiss it."

At least that was what I hoped would happen.

"Are you OK?" I finally asked Michelle.

"You're really a vampire," she said after a moment.

"Am not!" I joked then laughed, unable to keep a straight face. "And I told you to go upstairs. I could've taken your head off before I realized it was you."

"But you didn't."

"But I so easy could have! A split second was all it would've taken," I retorted.

"Then it would've been quick," she shot back.

"Michelle…" I sighed and gave up. "You have not changed a bit."

"What do I tell the police when they ask why we were here?" she asked.

"I don't know! Make something up," I said exasperated. "Tell them you know the owner and that you and your husband come here to have crazy sex and run around the yard naked!"

"It's freezing," she reminded me.

"But he _is_ outside naked," I reminded her.

We both laughed a moment with little humor.

"So, you're not mad?" I asked finally.

"About what?"

"The fact that I just killed your husband?"

"Not so much, no. He was going to kill _you_. And besides, the love died a very long time ago. I'll miss the company, I'm sure, but I can't say I'm overly sorry he's gone."

I took a deep breath and looked at her for a moment. "Can you think of anything we may have missed?"

"You mean other than the whole vampire versus werewolf part? No, I think it's covered," she smirked. "Are you sure you don't need to go the hospital?"

"I'm fine," I reassured her. "But I need to go. Give me five minutes then call the police, OK."

She nodded. "Are you coming back?" she asked quietly.

I just shrugged. "You take care, alright."

After faking the mountain lion tracks in the forest, I headed south. Once on the interstate I focused on Michelle for a while to make sure that everything went off without a hitch. It appeared to. The police had no other explanation and reported his death as a rogue animal attack.

Then I focused on Bella. She was still numb and going through the motions of living without actually living at all. She tried not to think about Edward but he was always there. His image in her head, the cold touch of his fingers and the intoxicating scent of his breath when they kissed; it was always there, just below the fringes of her consciousness.

It only took me three hours to get to Blue Ridge Georgia. The place I had been born.


	10. Chapter 10: Home

**Home**

The road to my house was little more than a wide dirt trail. Located in the middle of one hundred and fifty acres in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Georgia, my house there was as old as the one hundred feet tall, Georgia pines that surrounded it. Built in the mid eighteen hundreds by Mr. Ben Foster's own two hands, I bought the house and the land from his great grandchildren around 1934, the year that Lillian died.

Celine Foster still owned part of the original 1,500 acres that her grandfather willed to his descendants. She was a very nice woman and I would often sit and talk to her for hours on end. She was blind, but had an amazing ability to 'see' with her ears. She could tell you what kind of animal was rustling in the leaf litter, or how far away the birds were by their song. She was quite amazing and her mind was a vast vault of stored knowledge. And the best thing was, she couldn't see me, so even though she was in her sixties by now, she wouldn't ask questions when I returned. I thought I would take her the deer hide I had tanned in Tennessee.

The Mercedes didn't like the muddy, winding road one bit and I made a mental note to go buy a four by four soon. When I finally made it to the house and stepped out of the car, the sun was just coming up. I made my way around to the side of the house and checked the gas gauge on the power generator. It had only an eighth of a tank so I went to check the reserve tank, a two hundred gallon underground tank. About fifty feet from the overhang above the generator was a small outhouse looking building. It actually looked more like a doghouse with half of a regular sized door set into the side of a hill. _Still locked. Good sign,_ I thought. I went and dug the keys out of the bottom of my purse again and found the key to the padlock.

The main tank still had one hundred and twenty gallons of gasoline in it. I hoped it wasn't contaminated and I couldn't smell gas, so I hoped also that the tank was intact. I turned the valve that connected the external tank to the generator. I waited and few minutes, pumped the primer and pulled on the cord. A few chugs and some smoke and then nothing. I tried again. Nothing. I waited a few minutes and tried again. Still nothing. Then once more and finally the old behemoth choked and sputtered to life. Thick smoke poured out of the old engine until it got its rhythm and began purring quietly like it was supposed to.

I found the house key on my ring of a hundred keys and went inside through the back door. I very rarely used the front door. Something was nesting in the house and had been there a while. It smelled like a raccoon. I crept through the back door and waited a minute so my eyes could adjust. Then walked slowly through the enclosed porch, through another door and through the small guest room, past the half bathroom and into the kitchen. I heard rustling in the cabinets under the counter and I flipped on the light. I grabbed the rather large coon by the back of the neck as it tried to run past me.

It struggled and clawed and screamed and growled but I just held it by the scruff of the neck. Finally, it scratched me and I growled back at it. It was quiet for moment as it looked at me. When it started to struggle again I carried it through the living room, out the front door and dropped it off the front porch. Then I went back to see how much damage it had done.

Before I had made it the thirty feet back to the kitchen, the raccoon was sticking its head out from under the cabinet, watching me approach.

"You little…" I spat. "No wonder it's so cold in here, you probably have holes everywhere."

I went outside and turned on the water from the well and again, I hoped the pump still worked. I checked the hot water heater for leaks and there were none, at least that I saw. Then I sat down on the couch and closed my eyes. I was tired. I had only slept a few hours before the werewolf showed up and I needed to get some rest in order for the wounds to heal. For some reason, I always healed faster if I was well rested. I just guessed it was hybrid thing.

As I sat with my head against the back of the couch I focused on Bella. She was playing with her cereal, pushing it around the bowl with her spoon when she jumped as Charlie's fist came crashing down onto the table.

"That's it, Bella, I'm sending you home!" he yelled.

"I _am_ home," she mumbled, confused.

"I'm sending you to Renee, to Jacksonville," he clarified.

"What did I do?" she asked still confused.

She thought she was doing so well at just continuing to breathe that she hadn't really noticed what it was doing to Charlie.

They argued for a few minutes about how he wished she would do something, _anything_ and just stop mopping around all of the time. She finally agreed to do something with Jess after school so he would leave her alone.

Maybe this was a good thing, I thought. Maybe she could use some company, some time away from Forks and from everything that reminded her of her missing love. _Only missing, not gone, _I reminded us both. She convinced herself that she would ask Jessica to do something in Port Angeles, if only to get Charlie off of her back.

I heard the raccoon scurry past me and I stomped my foot, sending it running back toward the kitchen. I _had_ to fix all of the holes it had made, which I was sure was quite a few. _But later, _I thought. I shook the dust from the sheet over the couch, threw it over the top of me, curled up on my side and drifted off to sleep.

It was warm in the house when I woke up. The blue flames of the wall furnace were still glowing. I got up, opened all the curtains to let the sun in and took a good look around. I had expected to find one big raccoon den but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. It had torn up one of the recliners and a small mattress but for the most part the damage was minor, comparatively speaking. It could've been a lot worse, a _bear_ could've moved in.

I didn't hear it under the sink and assumed it had gone out, so I began cleaning up the mess it had left. I only found one hole leading from the outside and I had done a very thorough search of the crawlspace under the house. I patched the hole into the house and threw all the bedding and trash out from under the cabinets. Then I carried the damaged furniture to the back porch. When I had cleaned all I was going to I took a shower, made sure my mutilated back was healing, put on an old pair of sweats, threw the furniture sheets and the clothes I was wearing into the washer and collapsed into the recliner that was undamaged.

I must have dozed off again. When I woke up I was focused on Bella. She was in Port Angeles, standing across the street from a bar and contemplating talking to the four men that were standing outside. _What are you doing, Bella?_ I asked. No response. As she took another step closer Jessica tried to stop her, to no avail.

What was she doing? Her thoughts were of Edward and how she had promised not to do anything stupid when he left. So what was this? _It wasn't like I was taking a blade to my wrist,_ she thought. Jess was at a loss for words.

"_Go eat_," Bella said to her, "_I'll catch up in a minute_."

She wasn't going to stop so I did the only thing I knew to do… give her what she wanted.

"_Bella, stop this right now_," I thought in Edward's velvet voice.

Her muscles locked in place. It worked. But then she wanted to hear it again and took another step.

_Dammit, Lily_, I thought to myself. _What have you done_?

"_Go back to Jessica_," I said to her in _his_ voice. "_You promised… nothing stupid_… _Keep your promise_."

Her thoughts were a blur. She took another step forward.

"_Bella, turn around!_" I growled in his voice and finally she did.

I put my hands over my face, not believing how stupid I was. _Of course she would want to hear his voice, you idiot, _I scolded myself. _What if she tries something like that again, just so she can hear him, well, hear you talk to her?_ I would have to keep continuous tabs on Bella now, just in case she tried something like that again.

I went to bed, not wanting to think anymore about the huge mistake I had just made.

The next morning I slept late. When I finally got up, I checked my back and it was nearly healed. I folded the clothes in the dryer, put on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and headed out. Today was the day that I faced my demons. Today I was going to return to where I had been born, a cave, only a short run from here.

When I got to the entrance of the cave, vines and overhanging branches still covered the entrance, still completely hiding it from view. I pushed them aside and went in. My eyes adjusted quickly to the darkness. I made my way through the maze of tunnels, through a small stream, and to the place that my mother had died, well, where she had been killed.

There was nothing left except bones and fragments of clothing and hair. I knelt beside the remains and stared at the skeleton. Remembering clearly the day I had killed her. Tears welled in my eyes as I thought about the creature that had done that to her. Then I thought about the vampire that had gotten her pregnant and left her to be killed by resulting offspring. I wasn't sure which was worse, the one that did it or the one that just let it happen.

Once I had realized what I had done, I swore to her that I would never consume human blood again. Though I still craved it, I had not tasted human blood or flesh since hers. I owed her at least that much.

I began digging a hole so I could do what I came here to do; to bury my mother. I moved the bones one by one and placed them in the shallow grave. When I lifted the bones of her hand, a ring fell into the dirt. I placed the bones in the grave and then picked up the ring. I wiped it off on my shirt. It was small, but from what I could tell, it was a small crest of some kind. At first I put it in the grave with her because I never wore anything that would be recognized by someone, then I thought about Michelle and the scars on my shoulder and side. I couldn't hide the scars and if someone _was_ going to recognize me, they would notice the scars long before they would notice a ring. I slid the ring onto my finger and finished moving the bones. I would carve a stone for the grave and bring it back. But what would it say? Mother. That's all I knew.

I took the old soft, worn hide that was in the cave but buried everything else; the burlap bags, the straw and what few dishes and utensils were there. I stayed there most of the day wrapped in that old worn hide.

The sun was setting behind the mountains when I left. I headed southwest, toward Blue Ridge Lake instead of due south toward home. The lake was once a place I had found safety. After the encounter with the vampire in Atlanta in 1928, I feared another run-in with a hungry vampire. When Lillian, my guardian and teacher, died in 1934, I felt that the house didn't offer much safety. But when I was swimming in the lake I found a cave. The entrance was underwater but the cave was dry. I spent a lot of nights there after Lillian died. I felt safe in the cave. No vampire would've ever thought to look there.

After I got my SCUBA diving fix in the Florida Keys in the early nineties, I brought my gear back here and explored the lake. The blankets and candles that I had taken to the cave when I was young had still been there. I would come back here in the summer, when it was warmer and visit. It was way too cold for a swim right now.

I wrapped the hide around my shoulders and ran toward the lake. I laughed when I realized that the leather hide was flying out behind me like a cape, then I ran faster. When I got to the edge of the water I stopped just inches of the waterline. The sky was clear and it was very cold outside. The stars glittered and reflected off of the black, glasslike surface of the water. The occasional breeze would send ripples across the surface then it would smooth into glass again. I sat down on the rocky bank, wrapped the hide around my shoulders and around my legs and watched the occasional shooting star reflect off of the water.

The cave was about a mile south of here. It had been mere coincidence that I had come across it to begin with. I had been playing in the water, jumping off the rocky cliffs and seeing if I could touch the bottom. As I was coming up one time, I followed the cliff up from under the water and found the hole in the rocks. At first I only went in a few feet, not wanting to get lost in some underwater cave. I did, after all, have to breathe even though I could hold my breath for eight minutes or more.

After a few attempts, I finally got up the nerve to go further inside. Visibility was bad at best but I felt my way and after about ten feet, there was a near vertical shaft that went toward the surface. I made it about fifteen feet, thought it seemed for like fifty, when I chickened out and turned around. Once out and on my way up, I noticed that it was only about twenty feet to the surface. If that cave continued to go upward at that steep of an angle, unless it stopped or turned it would've soon been above the water table.

I surfaced, took a series of slow deep breaths, held the last one and dove again. This time I was determined to find a dead end, or air. I just hoped that the cave didn't even out and remain underwater. I felt my way into the cave, swan straight for ten feet then nearly straight up. I pushed myself upward with my feet, my hands out in front of me, feeling for any obstructions. The angle decreased as did my heart rate, but after another few kicks off the walls, my hands felt air. I surfaced slowly, not having a clue where the cave had led me. Could be a bear in here for all I knew.

It was dark. I felt around for a few minutes until I could make out some of my surroundings. There was certainly nothing in here and all I could smell was water and earth. The cave I had entered was small. The edge of the water met dry Georgia granite. I climbed out onto the rock and was nearly able to stand up before I felt more rock above my head. I took a step back and tripped over a small ledge. I laded on my butt on more rock. I felt around behind be and there was an open space. I tried to make out details but there just wasn't enough light in here. I could only see shadows and darkness.

I went back to the surface and figured out how to get candles and matches into the cave. Since I had to go through water and in 1934, plastic bags weren't exactly readily available, and wouldn't be for about twenty years. So I wrapped some candles and some matches in multiple layers of rabbit hides and wrapped it tight. A few days later I went back to the cave and managed to successfully get dry matches and candles inside.

When I finally lit one of the candles and looked around, the cave was indeed empty. There was nothing. No moss, no roots, no dirt, it was just a hole in the rock. The rock inside was smooth, and at some point I assumed that water ran through here. There was a small ledge just above the waterline that leveled out for a few feet then curved up the back wall, around over the ceiling and back down to the water. The water surface was about two by three feet and at one end of the opening. The rock was already worn smooth where the water met the edge of the rock. It wasn't very long, less than six feet but plenty of room for me to stretch out.

Over the next few years, I stocked the cave with candles and matches and even hides and deer jerky. I felt safe in that cave and spent many nights in it. I thought it was the perfect hiding place from vampires. It never occurred to me until much later that there had to be circulating air from, and to, _somewhere_ in order for the candles to burn and for me to be able to breathe.

After a few hours I finally decided to head home. I was sure I still had a raccoon to deal with. I was only about half a mile from the lake when the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I felt a presence behind me and before I thought I even had time to react, I had turned, growled and taken a near fatal swipe at a vampire's neck. It was a young female, she didn't look much older than I did, but she stood there, staring at me. Her teeth were bared and she was holding her hand to the side of her neck.

I had felt my claws go in deep and knew I had the upper hand right now. She was hurt and the vampire inside me was wide awake and already fighting. She stared at me with a bewildered but maddening look in her eyes. She could smell my blood, my _human_ blood and hear my heartbeat, but she was standing face to face with a _vampire_. She growled and lunged at my face. In the next instant, my claws ripped through the other side of her neck. Her body fell at my feet, her head rolled against a tree and stopped with a thud. _Oh my God,_ I thought, _I'm capable of killing a vampire. _I looked down at my claws then back at the headless form below me. It lay motionless and I instantly thought of the encounter with Rosalie Hale at my house. _I could've really hurt her and not meant to._ I shuttered at the thought of hurting one of the Cullen's, even if it was Rose.

I started kicking leaves and dirt over the body. The last thing this small town needed was for someone to find this. I had completely covered the body and had just picked up the head to throw into the lake. I would come back and get it so I could burn them both later. Right now, I had no way to build a fire.

I was almost to the water when the hair on my neck stood up again. This time I wasn't fast enough. I turned and raked my claws across the chest of a male vampire that was easily twice my size. He roared in anger and took a swipe at me. I dodged and ducked but he caught the back of my left shoulder. I felt the warm blood on my back and fought the instinct to fight back. I knew I was no match for this one. He had found his mate and was now getting his revenge.

I tried to wrap the hide around me but I couldn't move my left arm. _Oh, shit,_ I thought and my mind reeled as the pain finally registered. I sprinted toward the water with the head still under my arm. He obviously followed me. He was only steps behind me when I reached the water's edge. He took a swipe at my back and I felt his claws tear through my sweatshirt and my recently healed back. Then I dove head first into the freezing water.

The shock of the temperature nearly took my breath away. I was instantly shivering. I took the hide from my neck with shivering fingers and tried to secure my limp arm. _Where am I?_ I thought. _Where did I enter the water?_ I had to get to my cave, but it was dark, the water was freezing, and I knew I wouldn't last very long. Then the vampire inside woke and my senses changed. Suddenly I knew exactly where I was and exactly where to go. Within minutes I was crawling onto the dry pile of hides in my little cave. I had left the head just inside the entrance and still in the water.

I concentrated on the vampire that was hell bent on my demise. I made him think that I had swum across the lake and was running through the trees on the other side. He was soon chasing a ghost.

I pulled off all of my clothes and wrapped myself in dry hides. I was still shivering uncontrollably. My shoulder and my back throbbed.

I shook my head and thought; Ninety nine point ninety eight percent of all humans go through their entire lives without knowing that vampires and werewolves even exist. _I_ on the other hand have met _three_ in as many days. But then again, I guess humans aren't usually in the middle of the forest, in the middle of the night, out in the middle of nowhere. _That might have something to do with it,_ I thought. But I wasn't laughing. I was hurt and hurt bad. I managed to stop shivering enough to find and light a match. I found a candle and lit it. I thanked my lucky stars that they still worked.

I examined my shoulder and it was a lot worse than I thought. He had nearly taken off my arm, literally. Only muscle and skin had kept it attached to the rest of me.

I continued to make him think that he was still chasing me. But where? I wondered. After a while, I would eventually run out of land… But that reminded me how I had ended up in Forks and why.

After Danny had left, I had gone as far west as I could go and ended up in La Push. Then I realized that it was probably not a very good place for me to be. The Quileute tribe was very against vampires so I went back to Forks. Which is where I ran into the Cullen's, and then Bella… Bella. _Stop, Lily! _I could lead the vampire to La Push and let the Quileute wolves deal with him. If nothing else, that would get him far away from me.

When the shivering finally stopped, I wrapped my shoulder up the best I could. There was nothing else I _could_ do. I couldn't go to a hospital, I knew that. I was scared. I had no idea what to do. My arm was barely attached to my body, my back had yet another series of gashes in it and all I really wanted to do was sleep. How I could be so tired at a time like this? Was I dying? Was I bleeding to death? Is that how it would happen? Would I just fall asleep and never wake up?

I thought about Bella and Edward and Scott and I started to cry. After all I had been through and after all I had survived, I was going to die alone in this cave. I figured it was the way I had lived, so it was fitting that that was the way I would I die. I cried myself to sleep saying my little goodbyes to my beloved Bella, my fearless Edward and my loving Scott.

I dreamed about the wolves tearing the male vampire that had attacked me into tiny pieces and burning the remains in a huge bon fire on the cliffs by the water's edge. The wolves had indeed returned to La Push. And I dreamed of Bella fighting to close the open hole in her chest that Edward had left. It would get smaller at times, but it was always there. I would still have to keep a close watch on her, in case she did anything to try to elicit an internal response from Edward again. I should've never done that, tell her to stop in Edward's voice, but it was too late now.

I woke up very slowly, not wanting to move any part of my body. I slowly opened one eye and all I could see was dark gray and black. Was I still in the cave? Or was this purgatory? Certainly, hell would be warmer.

I lifted my fingers slowly then my hands. Then I wiggled my toes and moved my feet. I took a slow, deep breath and tried to lift my left arm. There was no pain. I looked down and I could see enough to know that the hides were no longer wrapped round me. I fumbled around for the matches and another candle. When I was finally able to get one lit I felt for my shoulder. It was attached. My shoulder and arm had reattached itself! I moved my body around, lifting my arm and making small circles but there was no pain, I was completely healed. The only thing I felt was… hunger. I was hungry, _really_ hungry!

I found my clothes and they had dried. They were cold, but they were dry. I took the laces out of my shoes and I wrapped my clothes as tightly as I could in a few of the hides and then crisscrossed the laces around it to hold it tight. I was hoping it would keep my clothes dry enough to put them on when I got out of the water.

I took a few deep breaths and slid into the cold water. The severed head was still inside the entrance. I was at the surface and out of the water in less than thirty seconds. The sun was just coming up over the mountains. I untied the hides and luckily, my clothes were still relatively dry, not completely, but they weren't soaking wet either. I dressed quickly and ran home.

The house was warm and I looked around for anything that might tell me what day it was. I had no telephone, to television and the cell phone got no service out here. I went and got my cell phone out of the car. It was dead, so I had to have been away for at least… I counted on my fingers… at least five days for the battery to go dead in standby, not taking into account the cold. _The radio_, I thought. I ran into the house, scaring the returned raccoon back under the sink. I turned on the radio and found an AM station. I listened.

But, I guess it really didn't matter how long I was out. The fact was, I was still alive and completely healed. I had been able to kill a vampire with my own two hands and I had healed from a vampire attack. It didn't matter if I had been out for a month… A month? _Bella!_

I focused intently on Bella and she was fine. According to her thoughts I determined I had been in the cave about a week.

I heard the raccoon rustle under the sink and I felt my mouth water. _I was hungry. _I had to go hunting. But with what? I had no bow, no guns… I heard the raccoon rustle again and I nearly went after it.

I had nothing to hunt with so I decided to go shopping, first for food, then for a bow. I looked down at my clothes and striped out of them. I showered, dressed, grabbed my keys and walked toward the back door. The raccoon stuck its head out from under the sink and I swore I heard it laugh at me.

"You better be gone when I get back," I growled through clenched teeth.

I stopped at the grocery store first. I was famished. I hadn't eaten in at least a week and the humans that surrounded me smelled almost too good to resist. _Resist, Lily,_ I kept telling myself. _No blood, Lily. No _human_ blood._

I headed straight for the meat department and picked up the largest, bloodiest steaks I could find. By the time I had checked out I was nearly having to hold my breath. I couldn't ever remember being this thirsty for blood. I was grateful that I had healed while asleep in the cave, but if I were to lose it right now, it would be catastrophic. I can only describe it as being in the desert for a week and then being put next to a waterfall that you were forbidden to drink from. It was excruciating. My mouth watered and the vampire lurked right below the surface, just waiting for the slightest lapse in my judgment.

I pressed my claws into my palms as walked to the car, trying to distract myself from the gnawing in my gut. Healed shoulder or not, this was way too dangerous, and I found myself asking whether or not it had been worth it. I had _never _had to fight this hard for control.

I got in the car, started the engine, threw the car into gear and white smoked out of the parking lot and fishtailed into traffic. I floored it and ran the next two red lights. I had to feed, and now. I drove toward home and as soon as I was on my road and I was sure there was no one around, I slammed on the brakes, threw the car in park and tore into the grocery bags. Cellophane and Styrofoam flew in every direction and low growls permeated the car. I devoured the steaks as soon as I could them to my mouth.

When I had finally had my fill, I looked down at my shaking hands. There were splatters of watered down blood everywhere; on the dash, on the windows and all over me. I griped the steering wheel and put my forehead against my hands. My head was starting to spin.

"I can _never_ let that happen again," I demanded aloud.

My head stopped spinning and I drove the rest of the way home.

Once inside, the raccoon poked its head out of the cabinet. It was teasing me, I was almost sure of it. I slammed the cabinet doors shut and slung a chair in front of them. Then thought better of it, went and grabbed a wire coat hanger from the closet and bent it around the knobs on the cabinet doors. Then I went to my bedroom, dug a blanket out the cedar chest at the foot of the bed, wrapped myself in it and was soon sound asleep.


End file.
